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Hello everyone.
I am a 23 years old guy with ED since February 2017, so it has been more than a year now. I will make a long post, so that I can explain my situation as best as possible, giving as many details as possible, in order to avoid ambiguities.
Let me tell you a bit more about myself: I am in good shape, 185cm tall and 75kg, not overweight at all, even though I have always had a bit of large hips, fat on the hips and my chest. In the later years I have reduced a lot this fat by working out but I think I have a mild form of gynecomastia, as my nipples stick out when I am feeling warm, whereas they shrink as they should be when I feel cold/nervous.
I do not drink excessively at all, and have never heavily done drugs, in the last 2 years and a half I can say that I rarely drink and smoke weed at most.
I do not have any condition that may cause this issue, such as diabetes or anything else.
The only thing that may worry me is that I do sleep a lot since I have moved in the UK, I spend a lot of hours on my bed and struggle to get up, but apart from that, I do not have any other major issues.
About my sexual life: this is complicated, as I discovered touching myself around 13-14, and I was often feeling my hormones were really strong, but for some reasons, maybe for the environment that I grew up in in which everybody was talking about masturbation (which at that age is pretty normal), I never fully attempted masturbation, because I was alienated from that environment and I did not want to reproduce their thing, and I was also quite repelled by the smell of piss that my hands would get after touching it... Also, I was not circumcised so it took quite a lot to have my glandis to fully open, so for these reasons, I never proceeded to masturbate until 16. Around 16, that I had acquired more confidence with my penis, I finally masturbated and it felt great, and I started doing it often... Until when I reached around 18 years old, when I decreased doing it a lot, mostly because of not having to bother to do it, spending 20 30 minutes (as I would usually masturbate for long) for such task, so I masturbated only 4-5 times a month, and that just to prevent my penis ejaculating at night to eliminate the unused sperm, which is quite annoying as you have to get up in the night and spend 20 minutes cleaning yourself. In this period, sometimes I would masturbate more, sometimes less, everytime I did it, I would enjoy it a lot, but I had acquired a strong control on myself, and I did not masturbate daily but once in a while.
Then, I moved abroad to study in the Uk, and being in a new student environment, I finally starting having a social life and 2 years ago I finally started dating, with the first girlfriend it lasted around a month as I was quite inexperienced, so we did not have sex as we broke up for othe reasons just before getting to this level. Then, I moved into another relationship few months after, and I was with this girl for 5 months, but she was a virgin as well, and particularly weird about how she handled the relationship whereas I had acquired quite some experience from the first failed one, and weird about the sex life too.
Please note that in both these relationships, whenever I was with them, I would be pretty horny and I did not have erection/lubrication problems.
With the second girlfriend of my life, it ended after 5 months as she clearly did not want to have sex, even though I had tried for the last 2 months of the relationship to take the relationship to a next level. When it ended, it was the beginning of February 2017.
Just before breaking up the second one, I started casually dating another girl at the same time because I felt that the thing was about to be over.
And when it was over, I realised that I had troubles in masturbating. My penis would just not go up, or struggle to go up and stay half erect, and would remain dry, not producing the transparent liquid lubricating it.
When I tried to have sex with this new girl, which I tried 2/3 times, my penis would not get up, it would stay at most half rigid, and when I was laying in bed with her, it would often get semi-rigid and then die down, and this continuous cycle for many times, but it never got fully hard.
The same happened with another girl that I was casually dating around that time, and a girl that I was dating from last October to last December.
I did 2-3 blood tests, they all came negative, I did a hormone check, and my Testosterone level is actually higher than the average. I tried Viagra prescribed by my general pratictioner when I had tried to have sex the 2nd/3rd time with the girl, both 25mg and 50mg, and it still did not work, my penis would only get half rigid. Even worse, my penis does not produce the transparent lubricant that I always get after being horny for a minute or two, and that I would flood my underwear when doing foreplay with a girl.
This same happens with masturbation, as previously stated, and I do not even get morning erections, I cannot recall a full morning erection since a year. During masturbation, it ONLY gets erect when I am about to ejaculate, and it starts producing the transparent lubricant only after 15-20 minutes of masturbation.
The only full erections I can recall was on one day in July, when I masturbated and somehow managed to have a really strong erection, and a month ago that I was masturbating one day and I noticed a 80% erection, and this kept going for 3-4 days in a row, but then it all reverted back to what it has been for over a year.
Please note that my blood tests have all been negative, and testosterone slightly higher than the average.
Talking about my psychology, when I broke up, I did not get traumatised at all, I was actually happy that it ended up, I never thought that I got traumatised. I had a lot of insecurities about my body image until 21, but after dating a couple of women, and about the period when I started having ED, they mostly disappeared.
About the impact of ED on my mental health, I got huge loads of anxiety, that I would feel on my body and I could even quantify them, until last June, when I reached the awareness and control of the anxiety on my body, and managed to eliminate it having a positive outlook on the issue, as I strongly believed being anxious would not help at all with my problem and just make me feel worse, and that this issue would get solved with the time.
However, when it was August, and it still didn't change, I went to a sexual clinic in my city, and managed to speak to a doctor, who advised me to wait and let time heal my issue, and come back in 6 months if the situation had not changed.
Now, it has been 7 months since that last visit, and nothing has changed. It has been 1 year and 1 month since the beginning of the issue.
At this point, I hugely doubt that this is psychological at all, since I am not anxious and I have just got used to living with the issue, I do not blame myself or something, I do not seem to have particularly big insecurities about sex even though I have never had it, and the fact that I also struggle in masturbating it and I do not get morning erections.
My sexual life, even though abnormal in the timings of it, has always been pretty normal, I have never had ED before, the only thing that could be is that I have had lower sex drive after 17, but I am not sure if that was for a choice or my lower sex drive caused that choice.
I was recently reading about venous leaks, could there be something about that? I don't recall my penis getting traumas, even though throughout my life I have often played with my flaccid penis by pushing it towards the testicles and rotating it, but nothing strongly traumatic.
I am 23 would love to experience the pleasures of sex, it is inconceivable to think about ED at this age, I would love to experience the pleasures of having a normal sexual life, and have missed a lot of chances over the last year of having sex for this damned issue, I am really annoyed and I do not want to waste a big portion or my whole life without experiencing sex.
Please help me out, I hope someone who has been through this exact weird issue will be able to help me out, or to link me to another thread covering such a complicated type of ED.
Thank you for bearing with me on this long read
I am a 23 years old guy with ED since February 2017, so it has been more than a year now. I will make a long post, so that I can explain my situation as best as possible, giving as many details as possible, in order to avoid ambiguities.
Let me tell you a bit more about myself: I am in good shape, 185cm tall and 75kg, not overweight at all, even though I have always had a bit of large hips, fat on the hips and my chest. In the later years I have reduced a lot this fat by working out but I think I have a mild form of gynecomastia, as my nipples stick out when I am feeling warm, whereas they shrink as they should be when I feel cold/nervous.
I do not drink excessively at all, and have never heavily done drugs, in the last 2 years and a half I can say that I rarely drink and smoke weed at most.
I do not have any condition that may cause this issue, such as diabetes or anything else.
The only thing that may worry me is that I do sleep a lot since I have moved in the UK, I spend a lot of hours on my bed and struggle to get up, but apart from that, I do not have any other major issues.
About my sexual life: this is complicated, as I discovered touching myself around 13-14, and I was often feeling my hormones were really strong, but for some reasons, maybe for the environment that I grew up in in which everybody was talking about masturbation (which at that age is pretty normal), I never fully attempted masturbation, because I was alienated from that environment and I did not want to reproduce their thing, and I was also quite repelled by the smell of piss that my hands would get after touching it... Also, I was not circumcised so it took quite a lot to have my glandis to fully open, so for these reasons, I never proceeded to masturbate until 16. Around 16, that I had acquired more confidence with my penis, I finally masturbated and it felt great, and I started doing it often... Until when I reached around 18 years old, when I decreased doing it a lot, mostly because of not having to bother to do it, spending 20 30 minutes (as I would usually masturbate for long) for such task, so I masturbated only 4-5 times a month, and that just to prevent my penis ejaculating at night to eliminate the unused sperm, which is quite annoying as you have to get up in the night and spend 20 minutes cleaning yourself. In this period, sometimes I would masturbate more, sometimes less, everytime I did it, I would enjoy it a lot, but I had acquired a strong control on myself, and I did not masturbate daily but once in a while.
Then, I moved abroad to study in the Uk, and being in a new student environment, I finally starting having a social life and 2 years ago I finally started dating, with the first girlfriend it lasted around a month as I was quite inexperienced, so we did not have sex as we broke up for othe reasons just before getting to this level. Then, I moved into another relationship few months after, and I was with this girl for 5 months, but she was a virgin as well, and particularly weird about how she handled the relationship whereas I had acquired quite some experience from the first failed one, and weird about the sex life too.
Please note that in both these relationships, whenever I was with them, I would be pretty horny and I did not have erection/lubrication problems.
With the second girlfriend of my life, it ended after 5 months as she clearly did not want to have sex, even though I had tried for the last 2 months of the relationship to take the relationship to a next level. When it ended, it was the beginning of February 2017.
Just before breaking up the second one, I started casually dating another girl at the same time because I felt that the thing was about to be over.
And when it was over, I realised that I had troubles in masturbating. My penis would just not go up, or struggle to go up and stay half erect, and would remain dry, not producing the transparent liquid lubricating it.
When I tried to have sex with this new girl, which I tried 2/3 times, my penis would not get up, it would stay at most half rigid, and when I was laying in bed with her, it would often get semi-rigid and then die down, and this continuous cycle for many times, but it never got fully hard.
The same happened with another girl that I was casually dating around that time, and a girl that I was dating from last October to last December.
I did 2-3 blood tests, they all came negative, I did a hormone check, and my Testosterone level is actually higher than the average. I tried Viagra prescribed by my general pratictioner when I had tried to have sex the 2nd/3rd time with the girl, both 25mg and 50mg, and it still did not work, my penis would only get half rigid. Even worse, my penis does not produce the transparent lubricant that I always get after being horny for a minute or two, and that I would flood my underwear when doing foreplay with a girl.
This same happens with masturbation, as previously stated, and I do not even get morning erections, I cannot recall a full morning erection since a year. During masturbation, it ONLY gets erect when I am about to ejaculate, and it starts producing the transparent lubricant only after 15-20 minutes of masturbation.
The only full erections I can recall was on one day in July, when I masturbated and somehow managed to have a really strong erection, and a month ago that I was masturbating one day and I noticed a 80% erection, and this kept going for 3-4 days in a row, but then it all reverted back to what it has been for over a year.
Please note that my blood tests have all been negative, and testosterone slightly higher than the average.
Talking about my psychology, when I broke up, I did not get traumatised at all, I was actually happy that it ended up, I never thought that I got traumatised. I had a lot of insecurities about my body image until 21, but after dating a couple of women, and about the period when I started having ED, they mostly disappeared.
About the impact of ED on my mental health, I got huge loads of anxiety, that I would feel on my body and I could even quantify them, until last June, when I reached the awareness and control of the anxiety on my body, and managed to eliminate it having a positive outlook on the issue, as I strongly believed being anxious would not help at all with my problem and just make me feel worse, and that this issue would get solved with the time.
However, when it was August, and it still didn't change, I went to a sexual clinic in my city, and managed to speak to a doctor, who advised me to wait and let time heal my issue, and come back in 6 months if the situation had not changed.
Now, it has been 7 months since that last visit, and nothing has changed. It has been 1 year and 1 month since the beginning of the issue.
At this point, I hugely doubt that this is psychological at all, since I am not anxious and I have just got used to living with the issue, I do not blame myself or something, I do not seem to have particularly big insecurities about sex even though I have never had it, and the fact that I also struggle in masturbating it and I do not get morning erections.
My sexual life, even though abnormal in the timings of it, has always been pretty normal, I have never had ED before, the only thing that could be is that I have had lower sex drive after 17, but I am not sure if that was for a choice or my lower sex drive caused that choice.
I was recently reading about venous leaks, could there be something about that? I don't recall my penis getting traumas, even though throughout my life I have often played with my flaccid penis by pushing it towards the testicles and rotating it, but nothing strongly traumatic.
I am 23 would love to experience the pleasures of sex, it is inconceivable to think about ED at this age, I would love to experience the pleasures of having a normal sexual life, and have missed a lot of chances over the last year of having sex for this damned issue, I am really annoyed and I do not want to waste a big portion or my whole life without experiencing sex.
Please help me out, I hope someone who has been through this exact weird issue will be able to help me out, or to link me to another thread covering such a complicated type of ED.
Thank you for bearing with me on this long read
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