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  • Does sex therapy work? Anyone has experiences?

    It's been an year and an half and I have never been able to orgasm with my girlfriend. When I have an erection, I lose it in 5 minutes or sometimes even 20 minutes. If I start kissing her and I have an erectionI know that I have to hurry to fuck because otherwise I will lose the erection. Even if I have an erection, I don't feel much pleasure (only sometimes, and it's kind of different from when I just masturbate) and I can't ejaculate.

    Every doctor says that I should do therapy, but it's expensive as fuck, and it takes months. I don't see how talking with a guy should prevent my fick from going soft. When it happens, I have absolutely no conscious control over it. I don't even feel it happening, just all of a sudden I lose pressure in the penis, like it's something that is not my body.

    Does anyone have experience with sex therapy? Does it work?

  • #2
    How long can you masturbate for ?

    Have you had a hormone panel if so what are the numbers.

    Comment


    • #3
      So you won't do what your doctors have suggested to help you because it costs money. So what kind of options does that leave us?
      The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by checkpoin View Post
        It's been an year and an half and I have never been able to orgasm with my girlfriend. When I have an erection, I lose it in 5 minutes or sometimes even 20 minutes. If I start kissing her and I have an erectionI know that I have to hurry to fuck because otherwise I will lose the erection. Even if I have an erection, I don't feel much pleasure (only sometimes, and it's kind of different from when I just masturbate) and I can't ejaculate.

        Every doctor says that I should do therapy, but it's expensive as fuck, and it takes months. I don't see how talking with a guy should prevent my fick from going soft. When it happens, I have absolutely no conscious control over it. I don't even feel it happening, just all of a sudden I lose pressure in the penis, like it's something that is not my body.

        Does anyone have experience with sex therapy? Does it work?
        Here's the most ironic thing I found in your post...

        "It's been an year and an half and I have never been able to orgasm with my girlfriend. "

        and

        "Every doctor says that I should do therapy, but it's expensive as fuck, and it takes months."

        So, let's agree the "time" aspect of therapy shouldn't be an issue. You've already wasted a year and a half - if a year and a half ago you had started therapy, and it took months, you wouldn't have an issue right now... so, do you see what I'm saying?

        Regarding the expense - do you have insurance? Because most plans do you have a mental health benefit that will help pay for therapy for sexual dysfunction.

        Now, on to your other concerns. It's clear from your post that you don't fully understand why therapy would be of benefit. But, your explanation definitely shows there's likely a mental component here at play - your "hurry to fuck..." statement shows you definitely have some anxiety about the situation, which is a huge erection killer. Since it sounds like you've been to at least one medical doctor and they've ruled out a physical problem, it makes sense that the issue is psychological.

        Masturbation habits, especially if they are rough and/or include porn, can definitely desensitize your penis (and your mind). I would definitely stop masturbating and stay away from porn until you get things sorted out.

        You don't mention any lifestyle habits you currently have -- do you smoke, drink, or take any other illicit drugs? Do you exercise (cardio) at least 3 times a week? What is your stress level like - personally and professionally?

        All of these can have a serious effect on your ability to maintain an erection.

        In the meantime, to answer your final question -- Does therapy work? Absolutely... IF you are open to it, honest with your therapist, and willing to do the work.
        Kimberly
        PEGym.com

        Follow us on Twitter! https://twitter.com/pegym

        Comment


        • #5
          If you're placing a primacy on the performance aspect of sex instead of the pleasure aspect, there's going to be issues.
          Want a FREE Month of Coaching? PM or email me for details- or CLICK HERE

          The MeCoach Male Enhancement Coaching Service- For All of Your Male Enhancement Needs

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Pegasus View Post
            How long can you masturbate for ?

            Have you had a hormone panel if so what are the numbers.
            I never tried an endurance masturbation test but I'd say I can go over the 30 minutes mark. But I don't feel confident in managing to go on hours on end like I hear some people do. After a while (30 minutes?) I start leaking precum and the erection loses a bit of quality, when I get to that point I usually reach orgasm. Never tried to go further. I usually just fap for 10-15 minutes, with perfect erection all the way.

            Like 6 months ago I had my testosterone level checked and it was in the normal parameters. Sadly the doctor didn't reccommend a "full hormone panel" (I heard that there are much more hormones involved that could go wrong), only testosterone. The doctor seemed to jump to conclusions and after checking me with eco doppler (without erection medicine injected in the penis) said that blood flow was fine and that I needed therapy. I don't know admittedly if checking me with eco doppler without erection makes sense or not.
            I went to another doctor and he said I should do an eco doppler with erection medicine injected (sorry if my english is not perfect but it's not my first language), but he didn't have the equipment to do that. I went to the hospital, after contacting a third doctor, but he refused to do that test on me because I was too young (I'm 26) and there was risk of unwanted effects like priaprism. There were no factors in my profile that could have lead to biological ED (no smoke/drink, no past biological trauma, masturbation ok).

            Honestly, I don't feel that I have been properly diagnosed. But three doctors said that I just needed therapy because there was no reason to suspect biological ED. Maybe they are right, since they have experience in these kind of things. All of them said "as long as you are able to maintain erection during a normal masturbation session, it surely is a psychological problem".

            Now, tying to your first question above: I feel like my penis is not "strong" as the penis of other people. Some guys are able to edge for hours, and I don't think I would be able to do that. As I said after a while I start leaking precum and erection loses a bit of quality.
            BUT normal sex doesn't last hours, right? Even if my penis is not super strong I should be able to have sex.

            Originally posted by CUSP82 View Post
            So you won't do what your doctors have suggested to help you because it costs money. So what kind of options does that leave us?
            Yeah, maybe there is no other option.

            Originally posted by KMWylie View Post
            Here's the most ironic thing I found in your post...

            "It's been an year and an half and I have never been able to orgasm with my girlfriend. "

            and

            "Every doctor says that I should do therapy, but it's expensive as fuck, and it takes months."

            So, let's agree the "time" aspect of therapy shouldn't be an issue. You've already wasted a year and a half - if a year and a half ago you had started therapy, and it took months, you wouldn't have an issue right now... so, do you see what I'm saying?

            Regarding the expense - do you have insurance? Because most plans do you have a mental health benefit that will help pay for therapy for sexual dysfunction.

            Now, on to your other concerns. It's clear from your post that you don't fully understand why therapy would be of benefit. But, your explanation definitely shows there's likely a mental component here at play - your "hurry to fuck..." statement shows you definitely have some anxiety about the situation, which is a huge erection killer. Since it sounds like you've been to at least one medical doctor and they've ruled out a physical problem, it makes sense that the issue is psychological.

            Masturbation habits, especially if they are rough and/or include porn, can definitely desensitize your penis (and your mind). I would definitely stop masturbating and stay away from porn until you get things sorted out.

            You don't mention any lifestyle habits you currently have -- do you smoke, drink, or take any other illicit drugs? Do you exercise (cardio) at least 3 times a week? What is your stress level like - personally and professionally?

            All of these can have a serious effect on your ability to maintain an erection.

            In the meantime, to answer your final question -- Does therapy work? Absolutely... IF you are open to it, honest with your therapist, and willing to do the work.
            I don't smoke, nor drink, nor illicit drugs. I don't do cardio. I just workout at home on a daily basis, let's say for fun (I'm trying to reach 15 pull ups, I can do 9).
            Yeah some days ago I restarted nofap (tried it in the past year, on and off, with no real improvements. MAX streak was 3 months)
            My masturbation habit is not too rough, I checked. After 1 month of nofap I was able to masturbate without porn nor phantasy, just with touch. It's a bit difficult but it's enjoyable. Despite this, I was not able to reach orgams with my girlfriend...

            A stress factor is surely present, I won't deny that. But that came out after I realized that I was not able to have sex. I mean that the fear of the erection going away came after I found out that I was unable to have sex normally. Maybe it's a consequence and not a cause? Well probably there is some form of negative feeback loop so therapy would be of help. I'm also quite a negative person and sometimes I get really really sad, even thinking about suicide and crying...
            I just don't know how talking with a doctor can fix the stress factor, prevent loss of erection and give me ability to reach orgasm. I guess I'll have to trust destiny.
            checkpoin
            Junior Member
            Last edited by checkpoin; 05-23-2018, 12:29 PM.

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            • #7
              I would rather try therapy than all those medical tests. Thye do stuff with needles I don't like and it hurts.
              The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!

              Comment


              • #8
                The thing that you are thinking about that you have to fuck your girlfriend fast makes you very anxious and thus the erection is going to fall. I have this issue but not like this so i undeartand you. Ive almost deafeated it. Do you watch porn? Any blood and hormone tests done?
                https://www.pegym.com/forums/erectil...rspective.html Hard flaccid and why you have it. Recovered.

                Link to off site location removed.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by greg123 View Post
                  The thing that you are thinking about that you have to fuck your girlfriend fast makes you very anxious and thus the erection is going to fall. I have this issue but not like this so i undeartand you. Ive almost deafeated it. Do you watch porn? Any blood and hormone tests done?
                  How did you work to defeat this?

                  Now it's normal to me, I do not "freak out internally" but I can't stop myself from paying attention to the pressure I feel in my penis.

                  After a while it goes down and then even kissing and touching her becomes boring. It's like I go into refractary period without ejaculating, only emitting precum.
                  checkpoin
                  Junior Member
                  Last edited by checkpoin; 05-23-2018, 12:52 PM.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by checkpoin View Post
                    but I can't stop myself from paying attention to the pressure I feel in my penis.
                    There's your problem. You are losing focus on the pleasure of sex and that can be a real erection killer.
                    To totally satisfy a woman sexually is not about having a large penis, it's about being a good lover.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by checkpoin View Post
                      ...

                      A stress factor is surely present, I won't deny that. But that came out after I realized that I was not able to have sex. I mean that the fear of the erection going away came after I found out that I was unable to have sex normally. Maybe it's a consequence and not a cause? Well probably there is some form of negative feeback loop so therapy would be of help. I'm also quite a negative person and sometimes I get really really sad, even thinking about suicide and crying...
                      I just don't know how talking with a doctor can fix the stress factor, prevent loss of erection and give me ability to reach orgasm. I guess I'll have to trust destiny.
                      You definitely need to talk to a mental health professional. Depression is also an erection killer, and it's clear you are struggling with that. This may be the cause of your problem, with the anxiety from the situation further exacerbating the problem.

                      They will help you develop tools to deal with the depression and the anxiety.

                      And, if you ever consider suicide call -- 1-800-273-8255-- it's free. It's totally confidential. And, they can help. 24/7.

                      Definitely talk to a mental health professional though. Even if you don't understand how it works, it can.
                      Last edited by KMWylie; 05-23-2018, 01:43 PM.
                      Kimberly
                      PEGym.com

                      Follow us on Twitter! https://twitter.com/pegym

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        While I agree mental is the big part of it there are 2 other things i would mention.

                        Firstly almost as an aside in this case a doc saying your testosterone is "normal" means zip . Allways allawys get the numbers and post them..

                        Secondly there seems an aspect of delayed ejaculation (de)to your situation . De has both mental and physical aspects they mental is usually anxiety we can talk physical later.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Pegasus View Post
                          While I agree mental is the big part of it there are 2 other things i would mention.

                          Firstly almost as an aside in this case a doc saying your testosterone is "normal" means zip . Allways allawys get the numbers and post them..

                          Secondly there seems an aspect of delayed ejaculation (de)to your situation . De has both mental and physical aspects they mental is usually anxiety we can talk physical later.
                          The numbers are:

                          Prolactine: 7,7 ng/ml

                          Testosterone: 5,01 ng/ml

                          Free testosterone: 17,9 pg/ml

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            You sure it's Ng/ml?
                            I think it should be Ng/dl

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by checkpoin View Post
                              The numbers are:

                              Prolactine: 7,7 ng/ml

                              Testosterone: 5,01 ng/ml

                              Free testosterone: 17,9 pg/ml
                              Doesn't make sense check that you wrote correctly.

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