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Discoloured, numb and cold glans: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!! DESPERATE
Hey all,
I'm currently a 19 year old university student. 2 years ago I damaged my penis through masturbation and haven't regained normal penis function since. This condition has rendered meunable to achieve an erection beyond 50% capacity (half as hard as it once was) without the aid of viagra or other E.D. drugs. It's deteriorated extensively, my glans has turned a light shade of purple/blue/brown (especially on the underside, where the discoloration is more noticeable), shrunk in size, become very soft regardless of whether I have an erection or not, almost completely numb (again, particularly the underside) and constantly cold; to the point where I place a heat pack on my groin when I am alone in a redundant effort to address the issue. Furthermore, I have experienced unusual and sporadic sensations in the head of my penis throughout the last 9 or so months. I find it difficult to describe the sensation in words, although is best described as a 'quivering' dull pain that seems to 'vibrate' in intensity for it's duration, which is between 5-10 seconds. These experiences have become more frequent of recent and I am seriously nearing the end of my rope. Whilst my penis has a largely diminished ability to respond to sexual arousal effectively, I am otherwise very much normal regarding sexual attraction and arousal. This is beyond frustrating and has massively ruined my quality of life and general well-being. Being so young and having been robbed of what I feel could have been/are the best years of my life both sexually and emotionally has completely fucked me up, and been the underlying cause of nearly all issues currently experienced in my life. I have seen several urologists, doctors and other healthcare professionals in a bid to find a solution. I often find myself contemplating death as I cannot see myself continuing to live like this. It's worth noting I have developed several irregular drug habits during this time, which serve as a coping mechanism by in times of particular stress by acting as a distraction from the issue. To this day I have gotten no answers and feel I am losing my mind, finding myself in an emotionally turbulent hamster wheel. If anyone could help me or give me any advice at all I will be eternally grateful, because this is not a sustainable way of living.
The story is as follows:
18 months ago I had a particularly violent masturbation episode while high. During this period of time I would smoke most nights as (an unhealthy!) coping mechanism for a personal issue I won't get into, albeit it's worth noting it was completely unrelated to my sex life. So for anywhere between 1-2 months prior this episode, I would often masturbate after smoking before bed. I had completely normal penis sensation and function during this time. One night, I got high and proceeded to masturbate as like usual, however I found myself absorbed in whatever porn I was watching (I can't remember) and became increasingly aggressive. I started to notice my penis becoming softer, however I was somewhat determined to finish and adopted a particularly violent approach to do so. This continued for 10 or so minutes until I finished. I immediately noticed something wasn't right because my penis was limp during ejaculation and a dull ache lingered. I got the sense it had become slightly detached from my body (I don't feel this most accurately reflects the sensation, but for lack of better wording it'll suffice.) I went to the toilet to try and urinate, but found myself completely unable to control my penis. I immediately begin to panic, and stand there for about 5 minutes fruitlessly attempting to piss. I proceed to go back to bed and try control my breathing as I was hyperventilating at this point. After roughly 40 minutes I went back to the toilet where I successfully urinated, however it dribbled out slowly. I hadn't ever experienced anything like this before, so I was obviously very concerned. The next day my penis still felt limp and 'detached', although I found more success in peeing and the ache had diminished largely. There was no discoloration at this point. After about 3 days had passed, I was aware that I hadn't had one erection since, which was unusual for me as I would often wake up with erections and get hard randomly during the day. I examined my penis and again experienced that feeling of detachment, where I could still feel in my penis but it felt 'distant'. However, I was alarmed that I was nearly completely unable to move my penis without touching it. Prior this, I was able to move my penis up and down by flexing my pelvic floor muscles, even without an erection. Upon realizing I'd completely lost this ability, panic set in. I hastily googled what I might've done to myself and concluded that I must've damaged my penile suspensory ligament. I decided that if I left it alone for another week or so it might heal.
For the following 9 months I would convince myself on a near daily basis that it would heal by itself, despite having lost the above mentioned abilities/sensations. This hindrint in sexual function massively compounded any existing sexual insecurities, and in the event I would manage to have/attempt sex I would be unable to perform or penetrate effectively. It was during this time that I began to experience discolouration, numbness and coldness, most notably during exercise where the glans would feel very cold relative to other areas of the groin, my hands, my arm, and so on. At the end of this 9 month period I sought help due to worsening symptoms, however was told that it was psychological issue after having blood flow to the area measured via ultrasound. I briefly spoke to a psychiatrist although felt uncomfortable discussing the issue during that time as I still thoroughly believed that it was physiological. I only ever saw her once.
To summarise the time between then and now, I have seen several more urologists and doctors who've conducted blood analysis (measuring testosterone), measured blood flow and sensitivity, and prescribed/recommended a multitude of supplements (notably 5-HTP, viagra, l-dopa, l-citrulline, among others) all to no avail. More so, the previously described symptoms have continued to worsen to the point where I am a forced celibate due to an inability to perform sexual functions. Several drug habits have been employed to cope with my turbulent emotional health, which is worst after having a potential solution shot down. The most notable substances include amphetamine, clonazepam and pot, binging either one or more substances to remain functional during such times. Many instances have I been in a deep, dark emotional recessionm and used amphetamine (insufflation) to compartmentalize the issue so I can continue to go about the day as normal (university, study and socialising is when this mostly occurs; as these are either compulsory or rude to cancel.) I have found myself feeling trapped by this condition, resulting in serious anxiety that comes and goes according to mood and environment. This inability to perform sexually has caused me to avoid sexual scenarios, which has become apparent to my friends and is the subject of particular criticism. While I'm not angry towards them as they see it as banter and aren't aware of the subject's true nature, it's compounded existing social and sexual insecurities. Although I continue to seek help and am starting counciling as of this coming week, I have still yet to find any definitive answers or solutions. Although I have been presribed and often use viagra, it seems to only inflate my penis with blood without increasing sensation or improving "hardness." I have been receiuving laser treatment for suspected pudendal nerve damage over the last 3 months, however have yet to experience any improvement.
If anyone who's reading this has any idea what this is, potential solutions, or has experienced something akin to what I've described PLEASE reply/message me, this has eaten away at me for so long I have finally started to reach a breaking point. I really don't think I can continue to go on like this, watching so much opportunity wasted while trapped within the prison that is my present half life. Even if you haven't got a solution but instead relate to what I have described above, just send me a message to chat. The loneliness experienced in this condition is unfathomable and it would be at least some consolation for the both of us if we could speak to someone who actually understands.
Again, if you have ANY information regarding the condition detailed above PLEASE message me!
Cheers and thank you if you're reading this.
I'm currently a 19 year old university student. 2 years ago I damaged my penis through masturbation and haven't regained normal penis function since. This condition has rendered meunable to achieve an erection beyond 50% capacity (half as hard as it once was) without the aid of viagra or other E.D. drugs. It's deteriorated extensively, my glans has turned a light shade of purple/blue/brown (especially on the underside, where the discoloration is more noticeable), shrunk in size, become very soft regardless of whether I have an erection or not, almost completely numb (again, particularly the underside) and constantly cold; to the point where I place a heat pack on my groin when I am alone in a redundant effort to address the issue. Furthermore, I have experienced unusual and sporadic sensations in the head of my penis throughout the last 9 or so months. I find it difficult to describe the sensation in words, although is best described as a 'quivering' dull pain that seems to 'vibrate' in intensity for it's duration, which is between 5-10 seconds. These experiences have become more frequent of recent and I am seriously nearing the end of my rope. Whilst my penis has a largely diminished ability to respond to sexual arousal effectively, I am otherwise very much normal regarding sexual attraction and arousal. This is beyond frustrating and has massively ruined my quality of life and general well-being. Being so young and having been robbed of what I feel could have been/are the best years of my life both sexually and emotionally has completely fucked me up, and been the underlying cause of nearly all issues currently experienced in my life. I have seen several urologists, doctors and other healthcare professionals in a bid to find a solution. I often find myself contemplating death as I cannot see myself continuing to live like this. It's worth noting I have developed several irregular drug habits during this time, which serve as a coping mechanism by in times of particular stress by acting as a distraction from the issue. To this day I have gotten no answers and feel I am losing my mind, finding myself in an emotionally turbulent hamster wheel. If anyone could help me or give me any advice at all I will be eternally grateful, because this is not a sustainable way of living.
The story is as follows:
18 months ago I had a particularly violent masturbation episode while high. During this period of time I would smoke most nights as (an unhealthy!) coping mechanism for a personal issue I won't get into, albeit it's worth noting it was completely unrelated to my sex life. So for anywhere between 1-2 months prior this episode, I would often masturbate after smoking before bed. I had completely normal penis sensation and function during this time. One night, I got high and proceeded to masturbate as like usual, however I found myself absorbed in whatever porn I was watching (I can't remember) and became increasingly aggressive. I started to notice my penis becoming softer, however I was somewhat determined to finish and adopted a particularly violent approach to do so. This continued for 10 or so minutes until I finished. I immediately noticed something wasn't right because my penis was limp during ejaculation and a dull ache lingered. I got the sense it had become slightly detached from my body (I don't feel this most accurately reflects the sensation, but for lack of better wording it'll suffice.) I went to the toilet to try and urinate, but found myself completely unable to control my penis. I immediately begin to panic, and stand there for about 5 minutes fruitlessly attempting to piss. I proceed to go back to bed and try control my breathing as I was hyperventilating at this point. After roughly 40 minutes I went back to the toilet where I successfully urinated, however it dribbled out slowly. I hadn't ever experienced anything like this before, so I was obviously very concerned. The next day my penis still felt limp and 'detached', although I found more success in peeing and the ache had diminished largely. There was no discoloration at this point. After about 3 days had passed, I was aware that I hadn't had one erection since, which was unusual for me as I would often wake up with erections and get hard randomly during the day. I examined my penis and again experienced that feeling of detachment, where I could still feel in my penis but it felt 'distant'. However, I was alarmed that I was nearly completely unable to move my penis without touching it. Prior this, I was able to move my penis up and down by flexing my pelvic floor muscles, even without an erection. Upon realizing I'd completely lost this ability, panic set in. I hastily googled what I might've done to myself and concluded that I must've damaged my penile suspensory ligament. I decided that if I left it alone for another week or so it might heal.
For the following 9 months I would convince myself on a near daily basis that it would heal by itself, despite having lost the above mentioned abilities/sensations. This hindrint in sexual function massively compounded any existing sexual insecurities, and in the event I would manage to have/attempt sex I would be unable to perform or penetrate effectively. It was during this time that I began to experience discolouration, numbness and coldness, most notably during exercise where the glans would feel very cold relative to other areas of the groin, my hands, my arm, and so on. At the end of this 9 month period I sought help due to worsening symptoms, however was told that it was psychological issue after having blood flow to the area measured via ultrasound. I briefly spoke to a psychiatrist although felt uncomfortable discussing the issue during that time as I still thoroughly believed that it was physiological. I only ever saw her once.
To summarise the time between then and now, I have seen several more urologists and doctors who've conducted blood analysis (measuring testosterone), measured blood flow and sensitivity, and prescribed/recommended a multitude of supplements (notably 5-HTP, viagra, l-dopa, l-citrulline, among others) all to no avail. More so, the previously described symptoms have continued to worsen to the point where I am a forced celibate due to an inability to perform sexual functions. Several drug habits have been employed to cope with my turbulent emotional health, which is worst after having a potential solution shot down. The most notable substances include amphetamine, clonazepam and pot, binging either one or more substances to remain functional during such times. Many instances have I been in a deep, dark emotional recessionm and used amphetamine (insufflation) to compartmentalize the issue so I can continue to go about the day as normal (university, study and socialising is when this mostly occurs; as these are either compulsory or rude to cancel.) I have found myself feeling trapped by this condition, resulting in serious anxiety that comes and goes according to mood and environment. This inability to perform sexually has caused me to avoid sexual scenarios, which has become apparent to my friends and is the subject of particular criticism. While I'm not angry towards them as they see it as banter and aren't aware of the subject's true nature, it's compounded existing social and sexual insecurities. Although I continue to seek help and am starting counciling as of this coming week, I have still yet to find any definitive answers or solutions. Although I have been presribed and often use viagra, it seems to only inflate my penis with blood without increasing sensation or improving "hardness." I have been receiuving laser treatment for suspected pudendal nerve damage over the last 3 months, however have yet to experience any improvement.
If anyone who's reading this has any idea what this is, potential solutions, or has experienced something akin to what I've described PLEASE reply/message me, this has eaten away at me for so long I have finally started to reach a breaking point. I really don't think I can continue to go on like this, watching so much opportunity wasted while trapped within the prison that is my present half life. Even if you haven't got a solution but instead relate to what I have described above, just send me a message to chat. The loneliness experienced in this condition is unfathomable and it would be at least some consolation for the both of us if we could speak to someone who actually understands.
Again, if you have ANY information regarding the condition detailed above PLEASE message me!
Cheers and thank you if you're reading this.
Admin of the Month Mar 2015
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