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  • Trouble having orgasms

    So for as long as I can remember I have never orgasmed during sex .... I can orgasm via manual stimulation but cant seem to orgasm via intercourse.

    I dont find penetration to be very stimulating... after 15 minutes I find i dont feel much ....just going through the motions.

    Last night I had the longest session I've ever had... 40 minutes, but nowhere close to orgasming....during that time my erection strength varied from very hard to soft... soft enough for penetration, and back again so all over the place.

    Despite the fact I cant seem to orgasm through penetration i do find enjoyable especially when I'm at peak erection strength.

    Now my history to date (I'm 35) is aggressive masturbation for much of my 20s and 30s...death grip. I haven't gone 2 months without masturbation in this aggressive manner so I think ive trained my body to respond to this kind of touch/feel.

    I'm circumcised, and I notice that if the skin is intact I can cum fairly quickly by masturbating. If I retract the skin it takes MUCH longer to orgasm.

    So I dont know if time is what I need to fix this problem, or abstaining from masturbation altogether for a period of 3 months etc?

    Something I thought about ... is there some way I could have sex .... but keeping my skin from rolling back? Because clearly I lose sensation if my skin is retracted during sex.... the evidence is that I cum far quicker with penis fully covered than skin retracted.

    Any tips on how I would go about this? It might not solve my problem but its something I could try ...

  • #2
    Sorry, I reread my post and made an error - I'm uncircumcised NOT circumcised.

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    • #3
      "Now my history to date (I'm 35) is aggressive masturbation for much of my 20s and 30s...death grip. I haven't gone 2 months without masturbation in this aggressive manner so I think ive trained my body to respond to this kind of touch/feel."

      Can't speak to the circumcision part, but I think you're on the right track with this thought. No more gripping, lots of lube, and little to no pressure. For me, I noticed I was lasting quite a while and wasn't keeping a full erection due to not feeling much. I realized my 'batin was with light lube and a good amount of pressure, which was not the case when it came to reality. Changing it up helped.

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      • #4
        Do you feel pain or discomfort when the skin is retracted ?

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Ron NB View Post
          Do you feel pain or discomfort when the skin is retracted ?
          I feel no pain whatsoever.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by tank0909 View Post
            "Now my history to date (I'm 35) is aggressive masturbation for much of my 20s and 30s...death grip. I haven't gone 2 months without masturbation in this aggressive manner so I think ive trained my body to respond to this kind of touch/feel."

            Can't speak to the circumcision part, but I think you're on the right track with this thought. No more gripping, lots of lube, and little to no pressure. For me, I noticed I was lasting quite a while and wasn't keeping a full erection due to not feeling much. I realized my 'batin was with light lube and a good amount of pressure, which was not the case when it came to reality. Changing it up helped.
            I'm not circumcised. When I typed out my initial post I forgot to add the "un".

            I know intercourse necessarily involves the skin to retract if you're uncircumcised, but if there was some way I could temporarily ensure the glans was covered during sex that might help me because I climax so much quicker when foreskin is not retracted.

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            • #7
              Orgasmed finally!

              I've detailed my issues in earlier posts on the forum so I don't want to bore you with the details, but in a nutshell I've never orgasmed through intercourse EVER - stemming from, what I believe, to be death grip masturbation over a long, long time.

              I decided,with much effort, to stop masturbating for 1 month ... and I'm with a beautiful girl who is very understanding. What has changed since I last posted?

              I'm learned a few things - in and out thrusting does NOTHING for me in terms of reaching orgasm. It feels good at times, but what feels the BEST for me and for my girl is actually grinding ... I only tried grinding a few months ago and I usually varied between thrusting and grinding, but this time I spent a LOT more time grinding.

              And ... well, I orgasmed. Finally. I'm 35 years old, so for this to happen was a major relief as I thought I was broken. It still takes a lot of effort for me to orgasm but that's half the fun and for me, grinding is what actually stimulates my dick the most - vigorous in and out thrusting does NOTHING, despite the fact that it can still feel good.

              Now the question is - was the grinding and duration what led to the orgasm or was it a combination of the grinding and abstaining from masturbation for a month? I have no idea. It's possible masturbation had nothing to do with it and I just needed to stimulate myself in the right way and for long enough.

              Anyways, just wanted to report back and let you all know. I'm so happy, and for those that suffer from delayed ejaculation like me, there is a way through it, just takes time and patience.

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              • #8
                then why open another thread and not post there ?

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                • #9
                  Moved posts from Orgasmed Finally thread to here...
                  How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse! how much better is thy love than wine! and the smell of thine ointments than all spices! ~ Song of Solomon 4:10

                  For things to change, you have to change.” - Jim Rohn, The Art of Exceptional Living

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                  • #10
                    Abstain from porn and masturbation all together. A lot of guys have a similar problem. I would check out the subreddit NoFap on reddit.
                    Starting: 10/8/18: 6.3 BPEL/EL 5.85 5.6 MSEG
                    Current: 6.9 BPEL/EL 6.4 (0.6+) 5.6 MSEG
                    Goal: 7 EL / 5.6 MSEG

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                    • #11
                      There are 2 articles that i know of onsite on delayed ejaculation (which is the name for this)

                      Part of the process is retraining your dick to feel a lighter touch so masturbation with a light grip.

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                      • #12
                        I made an effort when masturbating to not massage the glans as much and seemed to really help me with losing my erection and also helped to climax sooner as my unit was more sensitive. Sounds like we’re on a similar path.

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                        • #13
                          OP I had the same issue from death grip masturbation. I actually did the NOFAP thing for a little over half a year. I didn't masturbate or view any porn or erotic stuff. By the end of it all I was so sensitive that my new girlfriend literally grabbed my dick and I came. I did it all to fight a porn addiction and it definitely worked. You don't need to go SO ridiculously long, it just became a game to me and I wanted a higher score. Something as little as 3-4 weeks NO stimulation or erotic content and you'll notice a huge difference. When you get back into masturbating try not to use a death grip.

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