Somewhat lost, and embarassed

[LAconfidential Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close LAconfidential]

So I’m a 37 y/o male that’s in pretty good health. I excercise regularly, am not overweight and don’t drink. I did watch porn on a daily basis but has stopped over the last month or so.
I seem to be experiencing an issue with ED which manifests itself in shorter duration erections or lack of them alltogether with my partner.
Basically what’s happening is when I’m alone, I can get hard, and maintain the erection without an issue. I can dry ejaculate several times until I decide it’s time to finish and do so.
When it comes to being with my partner, I started to have trouble getting things going. I’ll get hard via manual stimulation or oral, then can complete the job in the right position (positions that provide enough stimulation for me to “feel” it). Positions that do not provide enough stimulation or instances when she gets up to pee or turn the ac on or even 30 seconds of a break, my erection is gone and the pretty much isn’t coming back probably partially due to stress).
Granted, she isn’t as tight as she used to be... that’s a fact and is probably partially responsible for the issue but it wasn’t such a problem before.
Here are some facts... I can take literally any amount of sildenfil (3-5 mg—a small piece of a 20mg tab) and can go on without issues.
If I take 10 mg of sildenafil, I literally can and have gone for 3-4 hr marathons.
Her tightness is better using a tighting cream which doesn’t cause me to lose my erection.
I don’t experience any pain, discomfort or other symptoms afaik. I don’t have diabetes, hbp, bph etc.
I have used the flashlight not long ago, with explosive results (but stopped due to this issue).

Any suggestions are greatly appreciated

[marksanchez397 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close marksanchez397]

Can you get erected with porn without physical stimulation?

[LAconfidential Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close LAconfidential]

Can you get erected with porn without physical stimulation?

Without anything, most of the time no. However that has been the same for a long time.
We have been going through some marriage issues so it’s not out of the question that stress may be causing part of this.

[LAconfidential Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close LAconfidential]

Can you get erected with porn without physical stimulation?

Without anything, most of the time no. I do however experience good length, contractile strength and orgasm when doing normal self stimulation. I dont require any sort of extra sensory things to get off either.

We have been going through some marriage issues so it’s not out of the question that stress may be causing part of this.

I work night shift and on my way from work back home, with limited stimulation, I had a medium - strong erection for a clean 15 minutes trying reverse kegels. Whether they helped or not is hard to tell. Don’t judge my driving habits, we are here for help :-D

[marksanchez397 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close marksanchez397]

Did you take SSRI (Antidepressants), Propecia/Finasteride (Anti-hairloss) or Accutane (Anti-acné) anytime in the past?

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

Going to throw my hat in the ring and definitely point to the marriage issues. Hard to get aroused when you are arguing with the person you are hunched over. You need a clean mind or your brain will go into flight mode and focus more of its resources on other activities. That is why you have no problems when alone. With her and whatever issues you to are discussing amongst each other will creep back into your brain and cause willey to take a break. Regain the relationship and you should regain your performance. Good Luck my friend!

[LAconfidential Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close LAconfidential]

As ZZ stated and without going into details, I have verified that my issue is person specific. It’s not a physical ed onset but is a mental situation. I guess that’s good on one hand, meaning that physically I’m still ok. On the other hand, mentally “I’m just not that into her” as the saying goes

[NOWHARD Banned Find all posts View Profile Close NOWHARD]

Hi you say in 30 seconds your erection goes, are you stimulating in that time frame or do you just leave it alone, if your leaving your penis alone, then no wonder you losing your erections, as we get older you need to keep stimulating it and you now know why, just stimulating the shaft works no need to touch your gland, doing that keeps you ticking over and if need be for 10 to 15 minutes.

Just remember as we age things can do this to us, you need to keep healthy eat the right foods, google foods that boost out testosterone is a very good place to start.

NOWHARD

[LAconfidential Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close LAconfidential]

Honestly im both happy and sad at the same time to report that it’s person specific. Without details, I perform fine if it’s another person. I have cockblocked myself from my spouse and it’s not getting better. My body gets very little response to her but if it’s someone else, I’m ready to go as if absolutely nothing is wrong. The stimulation thing isn’t needed and neither is it a problem maintaining a hard on. It’s a screwed up situation which just shows how much power the mind has