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Hey all. Age 39. In decent shape. Most people can’t believe I’m older than early 30s. Still got pretty much all my hair. No drug use other than very occasional weed. Not a smoker. Uncircumcised, penis 5 ½ inches hard. Used to think it was tiny, which caused me a lot of grief as a kid, as did premature ejaculation. In my teens I could get pretty damn close to ejaculation if a naked girl was near me. My mind, psychosomatic tricks, has always been a huge factor in my life, and my sexual life too. Premature ejaculation darkened my teens and 20s. I’d land hot chicks and just do a bunch of kissing until they got bored and ghosted me. In my mid-20s I discovered ALCOHOL. Alcohol numbed my dick. Cue lots and lots of sex. It didn’t often feel particularly good – masturbating has quite often always felt better - but I was getting the girls off, and that stroked my ego, which felt pretty good.
Cut to like 14 years later. Still having lots of drunk sex, but starting to get limp a bit more often in the heat of the moment. Not particularly worried about it because I could usually get aroused a few minutes later and get back on the horse no problem. A few weeks ago I slept with 4 girls in a little over a week, which is a lot for me. I was also doing a ton of masturbating to porn. Went a bit sex crazy. Basically sexting, and porn, and exploring my own sexuality was arousing me and giving me stronger, more pleasurable orgasms than actual sex. I learned about kegels and edging young, as part of my efforts to cure my own PE, but I started having extremely strong orgasms recently when, at the moment of ejaculation, I completely relax my whole pelvic floor and put my fingers around the base of my penis as if it’s a cock ring. Crazy good. I was masturbating so much that week that my arm had muscles aches. At the same time, the more actual sex I had, the more sex all started to seem a bit silly – a lot of high speed banging with a bunch of people I barely know and it doesn’t even feel all that good when I’m drunk and wearing a condom and just being a performance man, as opposed to trying things out with a girl like I do when I’m alone. I guess I’m answering my own question here in a lot of ways.
A couple days after this streak of four, I ended up in my first threesome. I was very drunk. And I could not get it up at all. And it was very embarrassing. And the girls were not afraid to stick the knife in, twist it, and break it off. You know how it is. Initially I shrugged it off – I was blind drunk. Some alcohol is good, but too much has never been a good idea in terms of sexual performance. There are limits to the alcohol PE cure. But the more they talked about my big no-show, the more it became a psychological thing for me. And now, even after trying to have sex with three other girls, the problem persists. I don’t have ED. I wake up with hardons, I jerk off pretty much fine, I can even have sex… just only for precious minutes until I lose steam. I think my ego took a major hit with this threesome thing and my mind is playing tricks on me, in a situation where I was already questioning the point of so much sex, and masturbation was so pleasurable, but that’s apparently a dark road to go down. I’ve been reading some interesting articles about how if you wire your brain to place masturbation first, your body will find real sex less exciting.
A couple things I’ve noticed. 1) The rim of my head has always been the most sensitive part of my dick, the part that brings me down. 2) Lately, the girls will be trying to get me hard so we can have sex, maybe giving me a blowjob, and I don’t get hard but I still get close to climax and then have to pull myself from the brink of orgasm, all while limp. 3) One thing that had been increasingly happening even before this big no-show was that when I was close to cumming, I would squeeze my muscles to calm myself down – but after two or three of those, my dick would just check out almost completely, almost as if “hey, if you don’t want me to be aroused then I’m outta here.” 4) lately my prostate area has felt kinda tight. Could that be a tight pelvic floor?
I don’t want to deal with drugs. I also understand that I’m about to be 40, not a spring chicken anymore. I am starting to exercise much more, cutting out the porn, damn near cutting out masturbation too, drinking a lot less, especially around girls, and just generally trying to rewire my body and mind to approach sex in a more healthy way. I guess my big questions are 1) is it possible that where alcohol used to delay orgasms in a man it can now exacerbate them? 2) Is it possible that kegel muscles can actually kill your erection? 3) What can I do to really cure my PE this time, without gigantic quantities of alcohol? It almost seems like now the PE is worse, because for some reason my orgasms are much stronger these days than they used to be since I started exploring new ways to cum alone.
oh PS: never heard about reverse kegels until I visited this site but just now realizing that at any one time my pelvic floor muscles are two miles up my ass.
Cut to like 14 years later. Still having lots of drunk sex, but starting to get limp a bit more often in the heat of the moment. Not particularly worried about it because I could usually get aroused a few minutes later and get back on the horse no problem. A few weeks ago I slept with 4 girls in a little over a week, which is a lot for me. I was also doing a ton of masturbating to porn. Went a bit sex crazy. Basically sexting, and porn, and exploring my own sexuality was arousing me and giving me stronger, more pleasurable orgasms than actual sex. I learned about kegels and edging young, as part of my efforts to cure my own PE, but I started having extremely strong orgasms recently when, at the moment of ejaculation, I completely relax my whole pelvic floor and put my fingers around the base of my penis as if it’s a cock ring. Crazy good. I was masturbating so much that week that my arm had muscles aches. At the same time, the more actual sex I had, the more sex all started to seem a bit silly – a lot of high speed banging with a bunch of people I barely know and it doesn’t even feel all that good when I’m drunk and wearing a condom and just being a performance man, as opposed to trying things out with a girl like I do when I’m alone. I guess I’m answering my own question here in a lot of ways.
A couple days after this streak of four, I ended up in my first threesome. I was very drunk. And I could not get it up at all. And it was very embarrassing. And the girls were not afraid to stick the knife in, twist it, and break it off. You know how it is. Initially I shrugged it off – I was blind drunk. Some alcohol is good, but too much has never been a good idea in terms of sexual performance. There are limits to the alcohol PE cure. But the more they talked about my big no-show, the more it became a psychological thing for me. And now, even after trying to have sex with three other girls, the problem persists. I don’t have ED. I wake up with hardons, I jerk off pretty much fine, I can even have sex… just only for precious minutes until I lose steam. I think my ego took a major hit with this threesome thing and my mind is playing tricks on me, in a situation where I was already questioning the point of so much sex, and masturbation was so pleasurable, but that’s apparently a dark road to go down. I’ve been reading some interesting articles about how if you wire your brain to place masturbation first, your body will find real sex less exciting.
A couple things I’ve noticed. 1) The rim of my head has always been the most sensitive part of my dick, the part that brings me down. 2) Lately, the girls will be trying to get me hard so we can have sex, maybe giving me a blowjob, and I don’t get hard but I still get close to climax and then have to pull myself from the brink of orgasm, all while limp. 3) One thing that had been increasingly happening even before this big no-show was that when I was close to cumming, I would squeeze my muscles to calm myself down – but after two or three of those, my dick would just check out almost completely, almost as if “hey, if you don’t want me to be aroused then I’m outta here.” 4) lately my prostate area has felt kinda tight. Could that be a tight pelvic floor?
I don’t want to deal with drugs. I also understand that I’m about to be 40, not a spring chicken anymore. I am starting to exercise much more, cutting out the porn, damn near cutting out masturbation too, drinking a lot less, especially around girls, and just generally trying to rewire my body and mind to approach sex in a more healthy way. I guess my big questions are 1) is it possible that where alcohol used to delay orgasms in a man it can now exacerbate them? 2) Is it possible that kegel muscles can actually kill your erection? 3) What can I do to really cure my PE this time, without gigantic quantities of alcohol? It almost seems like now the PE is worse, because for some reason my orgasms are much stronger these days than they used to be since I started exploring new ways to cum alone.
oh PS: never heard about reverse kegels until I visited this site but just now realizing that at any one time my pelvic floor muscles are two miles up my ass.
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