- 05-11-2010 #1
- Join Date
- Apr 2010
I thought I'd start a thread here about how those of us with ED manage to have sex. If there is some technique you have to get an erection during sex maybe you could share it here so that others could benifit from it.
I'll start with my own methods. First of all, my biggest problem is that I never get an erection without touching myself. On some rare occassions a female will be able to give me oral or a hand job and I will get hard, but the women I meet with the skills to do it just the right way are few and far between. Here's how I get hard when I am with a female:
1. After making out and eventually getting completely naked. I lay on top of her in the missionary position. I am between her legs. I am limp at this point. While I am carressing her or licking her breasts I fuck the mattress. This only works however if I am super horny and haven't masturbated for a real long time. In most cases, while I am kissing her or sucking her breasts, I will reach down with my right hand and use my index finger to stimulate the bottom side of my shaft. While I stimulate myself I feel her pussy rubbing up against my stomach. I concentrate on her upward dry thrusts. I think about how ready she is to be sexed. I tell myself that she is ready for my engorged cock. Her pussy is open and she is ready to welcome my cock inside. I imagine fucking her and how much she is going to whimper and moan while I impale he with my powerful love sword. I imagine the hot sticky load I am going to deliver into her warm tight love pouch. These sensations and images in my mind allow me to get an erection while I stroke myself.
2. Again, after making out and getting naked, I lay on her right side and we face each other. While tonguing her, I take her left hand and the cusp her palm lightly around my nut sack and then move her hand in a slow massaging motion. Once she gets what I want her to do I let go of her hand while she continues the massaging motion and I use my index finger to stimulate under my shaft so that I can get an erection. This feels phenomenally good and is very stimulating if done while tonguing and french kissing.
3. This is the most surefire way for me to get an erection, however sometimes it makes new females feel a little bit uncomfortable. Basically if I can't get hard by methods one or two above, I'll resort to this method. I'll have the girl naked underneath me. While I am between her legs, limp, I then stand up on my knees right between her legs. I now have a full view of her body. I am a very visual guy and I need visual stimulation. The things that excites me the most is seeing her pussy. I take her right hand and again cusp her palm lightly under my nut sack and show her how to lightly rub her hand on my nut sack. While she does this I hold my dick with my left hand and use my right hand to jerk myself the same I would be doing if I were mastubating in private. This eases my psychological anxiety greatly because if I can make her feel that she is participating in helping me get an erection rather than just waiting there with a bored look on her face while I try to stroke myself to an erection all by myself.
When a girl is rubbing my balls like this it feels really good and I imagine (whether true or not) that she genuinly wants to help me get an erection. I imagine that she is doing it because she wants my sperm inside of her. I look at her pussy. What turns me on the most is a girl's nicely trimmed black lawn. That's just my personal thing, but if you have your own personal liking then focus on that while she is rubbing your balls and you are jerking yourself off. If worse comes to worse and the girl herself doesn't turn me on for whatever reason (usually because I'm nervous), I imagine some really erotic scene in my mind. I imagine porn scene that really turned me on, or some sex that I had in my past that really turned me on. Or I imagine a girl I've recently met and want to have sex with.
Giving the female something to do while I get myself hard takes a lot of pressure, stress and anxiety off of me. By having her rub my balls it lets her join in in the fun. Usually I can get hard in about 3 minutes and then I'm good to go for penetration.
- 05-11-2010 #2
An important point- some men require a bit of stimulation to get them going. This is more evident when they feel pressure to perform.
To fully conquer and reduce/eliminate ED, you first need to determine the possible causes. We won't focus on physical causes here because that requires its own kind of treatment.
The most common form of ED is caused by performance anxiety. Today, men are under all kinds of pressure to perform, and it's the giving in to this pressure that causes ED. When something as pleasurable and natural as sex is turned into a competition or something akin to a performance, it stops being fun and your body will respond in kind.
If you're interested in reading more, I've written a post on dealing with psychological ED here.
- 05-11-2010 #3
I asked earlier and never got a reply so I'll ask again in d hope that someone out there can answer. How do we discover the cause of our ed? R there any significant indicators which point 2 a certain cause? I Dnt know if mine is physical or psychological. I have room 2 think it could be either of them. Any advicr would be greatly appreciated.
- 05-12-2010 #4
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- 05-12-2010 #5
I believe the 1st 5 on d list relate 2 me. So is it physical or psychological? I Dnt know but I'm battling it n I'm gna keep battling! Hopefully I'm gna be the sex machine that I was a couple of years ago!
- 05-12-2010 #6
There are quite a few good threads that go into detail on this particular subject. Here's a good one: https://www.pegym.com/forums/erectil...-cause-ed.html
- 05-12-2010 #7
Well, Ermmmm, I haven't been able to have a sexual encounter for over a year now. I realised I had ed when I could no longer get erections 2 porn or thoughts. Now cos of pe n a change of diet I can have some hard erections which Dnt last too long but I'm working on it!
- 05-13-2010 #8
Here's a great exercise that, in conjunction with edging/Stop and Starts should give you full mastery:
How To Become The Master Of Your Orgasms
Many men never experience the full potential of pleasure that they can receive from their sexual encounters. This little-known mental/sexual exercise will take you to levels of pleasure and control that you never thought possible.
First, you must find a time and a place in which you will be COMPLETELY undisturbed for 20-30 minutes.
Lie back naked on your bed (or other comfortable surface) and encircle your penis with your thumb, index, and middle finger.
Place your middle finger on the sensitive spot directly behind your penis head (glans.) Rub your penis until it becomes erect- THEN STOP RUBBING!
While maintaining the pressure behind the glans with your middle finger, close your eyes and concentrate as deeply as possible on your most erotic thoughts.
Mastering Your Orgasms Takes Time
At first, it will probably be difficult to concentrate deeply without a break in concentration for any length of time. This is where the mantra "practice makes perfect" comes into play.
It will probably take a dozen sessions or more of 20-30 minutes before you are able to achieve the very deep level of concentration necessary for this exercise to work.
After you master the technique, your ability to concentrate and focus will become so strong, that you will be able to bring yourself to orgasm merely by keeping pressure behind the glans with your middle finger and concentrating on your erotic thoughts!
Some men have even reported multiple orgasms from following this technique! Once you have mastered this technique, you will then be able to fully appreciate the pleasures of sex!
NOTE- Keep in mind that some men will not be able to achieve orgasm with without movement. If this describes your situation, once you come as close to climaxing as mere pressure and concentration will allow, you can jiggle your penis just enough to push you over the edge into climax.