Losing erection during foreplay - psychological? combined with premature ejaculation

[GalaxyQuest Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close GalaxyQuest]

Hi all

I'm a longtime lurker in my early 40s and I've suffered from a combination of erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation since forever. For the record I've tried to handle my issue with viagra etc before but with varying degrees of success/failure but one thing's for sure it has killed spontaneity in the relationship. I've had a few girlfriends with varying degrees of success in the bedroom and now I'm married with a young child. My wife is very supportive although affected as well by the psychological aspect of things.

I would like some guidance or steer please given the vast experience of this forum as to where I should focus first. There seems to be a vast amount of knowledge and techniques here but I'm getting a bit confused as different people seem to find different treatments and techniques to work for some but not all.

I assume my issue began with bad masturbation habbits in my teens which resulted to premature ejaculation and this developed in embarassment/frustration which tend to kill my erection. I don't find I have issues getting an erection when aroused but I find it difficult to maintain it if my mind drifts off or if there is no physical stimulation. Too much physical stimulation ends up in premature ejaculation. I have found success (i assume mostly the psychological assurance) with viagra/cialis knowing that they've got my back so to say. I tend to find though if I mentally spiral downwards I cannot get my erection for love nor money so to say.. I find I have pretty good 'morning wood'. Worth saying that I have tried to 'artificially induce' my erection by flexing the PC muscle which resulted to me ejaculating very quickly shortly after penetration.. I once was prescribed Tramadol for muscle pains which I found worked wonders for premature ejaculation (by accident) but obviously that ran out years ago but offered a respite of sorts while I had it.

I've tried hypnotherapy (worth mentioning that when I tried that combined with a mild dose of viagra one night I went for about an hour and didn't ejaculate - I was properly shocked) but that hasn't happened for over a decade. In my late 20s I was in quite a good relationship sex-wise and was able to go for a few minutes if I had sex every day or multiple times in a day but nowadays with work and a child I find that if I try to initiate something and a week (or a month) has passed I end up getting an erection, getting stressed in case I lose it and end up ejaculating very swiftly.

Anyway I hope this provides some context to the situation. I would like to get rid of this issue permanently but I also don't know where to begin and what to tackle first.

Any guidance would be greatly appreciated.

Many thanks in advance

Vince

[incogneeetoe Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2017*Special Appreciated Moderator Nov. 2021* PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close incogneeetoe]

I will suggest a few ideas:

Do some kind of conditioning PE routine for a while. Even if you are not aiming to gain, it will be good to get the erection into shape.

Then approach the ED and PreE holistically.
- daily aerobic exercise is very important
- diet is important, you might try the 5G tea (here is why)
- do some pelvic floor yoga
- and do edging

This is my basic maintenance routine.
This is my warm up method on my thread.
This is my explanation of ballooning and edging.
This is how I do them.

[Big Al AdministratorPEGym EditorMale Enhancement Coach Rep.PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Big Al]

For now, stay with a level of sexual activities which don't induce anxiety. Focus on the emotions and pleasure of being with your wife. When you begin to feel more at ease and are able to discard the concerns over performance, begin to venture into activities which previously caused you anxiety.

Having a loving and supportive partner can be instrumental in making progress.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Get a hormone test do not take any notice if the doc says "normal " post the actual numbers hers .

[closed297 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close closed297]

And don't be embarrassed by the number when you post mine is extremely low

[GalaxyQuest Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close GalaxyQuest]

I will suggest a few ideas:

Do some kind of conditioning PE routine for a while. Even if you are not aiming to gain, it will be good to get the erection into shape.

Then approach the ED and PreE holistically.
- daily aerobic exercise is very important
- diet is important, you might try the 5G tea (here is why)
- do some pelvic floor yoga
- and do edging

This is my basic maintenance routine.
This is my warm up method on my thread.
This is my explanation of ballooning and edging.
This is how I do them.

Thanks for all this! I'll have a detailed read-through tonight.
In terms of aerobic exercise, does power walking qualify? Running or biking is not an option for me due to weak knees and lack of space for a bike or can I use a stepper or something?

ps. I love green tea and drink tons of it already and sometimes with ginger so it should be good!

[GalaxyQuest Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close GalaxyQuest]

Get a hormone test do not take any notice if the doc says "normal " post the actual numbers hers .

Can you please elaborate on what that is and how do I order it?
I live in the UK mind you so the terminology might be different.
Happy to do it but I'm just not sure what I'm asking for. Thanks!

[closed297 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close closed297]

Ask your doctor for testosterone levels and he will know the rest.

[GalaxyQuest Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close GalaxyQuest]

Ask your doctor for testosterone levels and he will know the rest.

Is this something I can buy online? some online pharmacies seem to sell them.
I'll try to speak to the doctor but I have a feeling it's not something that is provided by the NHS in the UK.
https://medichecks.com/products/testosterone-blood-test
Is something like this appropriate?
Or do I need something more elaborate and sophisticated?
Apologies if I sound daft but it's not something I've heard of before.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Yes the nhs does do it, problem is docs in UK are lazy as f and undertreat due to the way they are paid .

The medi checks is a good idea it is total testosterone I am particularly interested in.

[Kestor Banned Find all posts View Profile Close Kestor]

I will suggest a few ideas:

Do some kind of conditioning PE routine for a while. Even if you are not aiming to gain, it will be good to get the erection into shape.

Then approach the ED and PreE holistically.
- daily aerobic exercise is very important
- diet is important, you might try the 5G tea (here is why)
- do some pelvic floor yoga
- and do edging

This is my basic maintenance routine.
This is my warm up method on my thread.
This is my explanation of ballooning and edging.
This is how I do them.

Thanks! That's a really good and helpful reply. It will help me too, I am sure

[Azmike Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Azmike]

Have you considered doing hypnotherapy again?

[GalaxyQuest Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close GalaxyQuest]

Yes the nhs does do it, problem is docs in UK are lazy as f and undertreat due to the way they are paid .

The medi checks is a good idea it is total testosterone I am particularly interested in.

Hi just to say I'm still around but had some very personal circumstances (not PreE related) to deal with that wouldn't allow me to sit down and focus but I am back now with a vengeance and going through incogneeetoe's log and everything else.

I'll try doctors here but as you can imagine with COVID-19 I have a feeling I might be laughed at.
Might try medi checks if I get a no.

I hear ya about doctors here..

[GalaxyQuest Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close GalaxyQuest]

Have you considered doing hypnotherapy again?

I have indeed. I did try Wendi Friesen's script 3 months ago and I thought I was getting somewhere but it seems like I relapsed big time so I will try that as well again with everything else.

I'm getting the sense that it'll be an ongoing effort to get somewhere good.

Unlike incogneeetoe's wife, mine is nowhere near as orgasmic and she has also been affected by my 'mental state' so I feel it's going to be slow going..

[GalaxyQuest Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close GalaxyQuest]

I will suggest a few ideas:

Do some kind of conditioning PE routine for a while. Even if you are not aiming to gain, it will be good to get the erection into shape.

Then approach the ED and PreE holistically.
- daily aerobic exercise is very important
- diet is important, you might try the 5G tea (here is why)
- do some pelvic floor yoga
- and do edging

This is my basic maintenance routine.
This is my warm up method on my thread.
This is my explanation of ballooning and edging.
This is how I do them.

As we all learn differently, are there any visual aids for these exercises? (sorry should have said the PE maintenance ones mostly)
Videos or pictures or diagrams or anything really
I'd like to avoid pulling or pushing my 'equipment' in all kinds of direction for no reason if my technique is bad.
I appreciate that I may be asking for a lot but you won't know until you ask!