Hey guys,
I'm glad there's a forum for all this stuff. This is my first post.
I'm 28 and have had anxiety induced ED since I first started having sex. It's purely psychological for me, though I cannot seem to 'outthink' this problem.
My biggest problem when it comes to sex is that when I'm actually with a new woman, my brain has a very hard time getting into a sexual state. Things feel robotic. I'll be kissing her and feeling her body but it's not sending my whole body into the right state. There's no question about my heterosexuality either, something else is causing this. I will also note that once I succeed through the first few times of having sex with a girl, I never have a problem getting turned on and hard. Once a girl becomes my girlfriend, I get hard just from kissing her and sometimes just looking at her. But it takes so much more than that when we get in bed for the first time.
I've had 3 girlfriends. The first one was while I was 19-20yrs old, and I was never able to keep an erection long enough to penetrate. So we basically never had sex for that entire relationship. That really fucked up my head.
I then started working with a therapist, who I've continued working with for the last 8-9 years. He suggested trying viagra to get over the fear for the first few times with a new girl. I got some viagra and levitra samples from my doctor and I used them with my next girlfriend. The levitra did not work at all, though I'd been drinking a lot. The viagra worked, though it wasn't smooth sailing at first, but I was able to make it through the first time, then after the 2nd and 3rd time I never needed it again with that girlfriend and we had amazing sex for a couple years.
I did some online research on over the counter stuff for ED and read that Stamina Rx was good. I used that to get things going with my 3rd girlfriend. I found Stamina Rx to be inconsistent, but when it worked it was way better than viagra. What I liked about Stamina was that something in it altered my state of mind. With viagra I'd get a stiff boner but still be the scared anxious guy in my head. With Stamina Rx I went into a really sexual state of mind. I just felt slightly high and what I imagine a hyper-sexual, non-anxious guy feels when he's undressing a girl.
I believe that this mental state that I went into gave me a hard erection just as much as my body was reacting to the erection enhancing components.
You're probably thinking, "well just take Stamina Rx when you first have sex with a girl," but the problem is that it doesn't always work for me. I had a really bad experience where I took 2 of them with a new girl and they did absolutely nothing. It was crazy because it was actually the worst night of ED I've ever had. My dick was just a shriveled up anti-sex machine that night. My dick was in panic attack mode, I swear to god it was cold to the touch and the smallest I've ever seen it. Not enjoyable with a hot horny woman in my bed. We never got another date.
Then I took Stamina Rx again before I went on a 2nd date with a girl that I thought would end in sex. But it disagreed with my body and I felt really woozy and nauseous, making me act really weird on our date and I ended up just going home early because again I was in an anti-sexual state.
Ok, I'm done rambling now. I'm interested in hearing if anyone has discovered some supplements or anything that sends your brain into a highly sexual state?
Another problem I have from it is that it makes me think that the girl I'm with at the time is not hot enough to turn me on, but I know it's not true. Honestly I'd love to find a way to lower my criteria for women I sleep with. I know this sounds crazy, but it's like if I think a girl is cute, my mind will look for reasons why I shouldn't go for her. i.e. "i wish she had bigger boobs" or "her butt's a little too big"
I hate that my mind goes in that direction because I know it's bullshit and it keeps me from having alot more sex. I see my friends having fun and hooking up with cute girls, while I bitterly wait for some flawless girl who I think will send my brain into horny mode. I hope this makes some sense.
I'm dating a new girl now and we slept together last weekend but did not try to have sex. We are seeing each other next week and I'd love to have something in my pocket to get my head straight.
thanks guys
I'm glad there's a forum for all this stuff. This is my first post.
I'm 28 and have had anxiety induced ED since I first started having sex. It's purely psychological for me, though I cannot seem to 'outthink' this problem.
My biggest problem when it comes to sex is that when I'm actually with a new woman, my brain has a very hard time getting into a sexual state. Things feel robotic. I'll be kissing her and feeling her body but it's not sending my whole body into the right state. There's no question about my heterosexuality either, something else is causing this. I will also note that once I succeed through the first few times of having sex with a girl, I never have a problem getting turned on and hard. Once a girl becomes my girlfriend, I get hard just from kissing her and sometimes just looking at her. But it takes so much more than that when we get in bed for the first time.
I've had 3 girlfriends. The first one was while I was 19-20yrs old, and I was never able to keep an erection long enough to penetrate. So we basically never had sex for that entire relationship. That really fucked up my head.
I then started working with a therapist, who I've continued working with for the last 8-9 years. He suggested trying viagra to get over the fear for the first few times with a new girl. I got some viagra and levitra samples from my doctor and I used them with my next girlfriend. The levitra did not work at all, though I'd been drinking a lot. The viagra worked, though it wasn't smooth sailing at first, but I was able to make it through the first time, then after the 2nd and 3rd time I never needed it again with that girlfriend and we had amazing sex for a couple years.
I did some online research on over the counter stuff for ED and read that Stamina Rx was good. I used that to get things going with my 3rd girlfriend. I found Stamina Rx to be inconsistent, but when it worked it was way better than viagra. What I liked about Stamina was that something in it altered my state of mind. With viagra I'd get a stiff boner but still be the scared anxious guy in my head. With Stamina Rx I went into a really sexual state of mind. I just felt slightly high and what I imagine a hyper-sexual, non-anxious guy feels when he's undressing a girl.
I believe that this mental state that I went into gave me a hard erection just as much as my body was reacting to the erection enhancing components.
You're probably thinking, "well just take Stamina Rx when you first have sex with a girl," but the problem is that it doesn't always work for me. I had a really bad experience where I took 2 of them with a new girl and they did absolutely nothing. It was crazy because it was actually the worst night of ED I've ever had. My dick was just a shriveled up anti-sex machine that night. My dick was in panic attack mode, I swear to god it was cold to the touch and the smallest I've ever seen it. Not enjoyable with a hot horny woman in my bed. We never got another date.
Then I took Stamina Rx again before I went on a 2nd date with a girl that I thought would end in sex. But it disagreed with my body and I felt really woozy and nauseous, making me act really weird on our date and I ended up just going home early because again I was in an anti-sexual state.
Ok, I'm done rambling now. I'm interested in hearing if anyone has discovered some supplements or anything that sends your brain into a highly sexual state?
Another problem I have from it is that it makes me think that the girl I'm with at the time is not hot enough to turn me on, but I know it's not true. Honestly I'd love to find a way to lower my criteria for women I sleep with. I know this sounds crazy, but it's like if I think a girl is cute, my mind will look for reasons why I shouldn't go for her. i.e. "i wish she had bigger boobs" or "her butt's a little too big"
I hate that my mind goes in that direction because I know it's bullshit and it keeps me from having alot more sex. I see my friends having fun and hooking up with cute girls, while I bitterly wait for some flawless girl who I think will send my brain into horny mode. I hope this makes some sense.
I'm dating a new girl now and we slept together last weekend but did not try to have sex. We are seeing each other next week and I'd love to have something in my pocket to get my head straight.
thanks guys
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