Promise to End Your ED here

**LoveHateRelationship** · 11-30-2010

Thread for those having any sort of problems getting/maintaining an erection.

Make your promise to end your ED here. Post/ask questions and advice if you are unsure. Note: people with very specific/health related and physical questions may want to start their own thread.

STORY - Explain your story. Long-term or temporary ED? Any experiences you want to share?
CAUSES - What do you believe is at the root of your ED? Physical or psychological? Get it into detail.
GAME-PLAN - What are you going to do to man up and fight those causes?
ADVICE/QUESTIONS - Not sure what is causing your ED? Or want others' advice on how to overcome what you believe is holding you back? Ask here.

STORY:
My ex and I broke up a few months ago and I met a new girl about a month ago. The first time she came over to my place we got all hot and heavy (this girl is good~), but nothing happened much down there...or if it did it disappeared quickly. We keep going for hours but unfortunately it never really got to a level where it could be used. Bless her soul, she tried to get me hard with some really good BJs a few times but my penis just sat there in her mouth half-hard and sometimes even mostly flaccid (not her fault...she's really good at them). We met a second time again recently and it was a similar experience, though I was able to get up in the morning. After realizing it turned hard she literally jumped at the opportunity and climbed on top. I was able to last and cum, but the experience lasted no more than a whole few minutes so I still don't feel that great about it.

The first time I attributed it to physical reasons mostly, psychological partly. I had been exercising TOO much and not eating enough food and my body just felt stressed and tired. The second time was clearly psychological as I haven't been exercising too much and have been eating properly and getting sleep.

Though I'm not attached and looking for something serious at the moment, this girl is really awesome on pretty much all-levels and even if we're not "boyfriend/girlfriend" I don't want to lose her right away! It seems she still wants to meet despite the two nights of rotting wood (I do my best despite the loss of one weapon...). This lead me to really taking this ED stuff head on and confronting it, which has also brought me to this post. I hope others can share here and we can work together and make some great success stories!

CAUSES:

- Nervousness during sex. Expectations of failure and not being able to get up.
- THINKING too much during sex. My mind can wander a lot and I realize that my penis shrinks the more I talk to myself
- Too much porn. I could go days without porn, and sometimes I would masturbate twice a day. But I believe overall porn was lowering my body's ability to react and my overall libido.
- Weak penis.
- Not letting myself be in the moment enough during sex. Worry too much about my partner...was there enough foreplay etc, should we move to the bed yet...should I do this before I go in....

GAME-PLAN:

-Attack nervousness with positive self-talk and also preparing before the real thing. Making this post and knowing that I have done things to fight ED will help me not worry about it. Turn the expectation of failure into an expectation of a rock hard penis pounding a girl.
- Try to focus my thoughts and clear my mind while masturbating in hopes this will carry over to the real thing. Find ways to not think during sex (for example, I found keeping my eyes opened vs close stops my mind from wandering a little).
- Cut the porn. Only use softcore images. Do not cum at the end of masturbation. Focus less on the image itself, and more on the feeling inside my own body.
- Kegels. Regularly start doing kegels. Also make sure to include rest days.
- Approach sex differently. During masturbation imitate sex a little and try to let myself be more wild and free. While having sex try not to worry about my partner too much. Try not to worry about anything and focus on the girl solely as a sex-object (during sex...not all the time duh) there for play.
- Lots of tea. Taking ginkgo and ginger as well. Hopefully these will help be the icing on the cake to make the erection harder after the psychological barriers are overcome.

ADVICE/QUESTIONS:

Seriously, I think way too much during sex. How the fuck do I shut my mind up? Anyone who has some advice regarding this please share.
Anyone have trouble staying hard during BJs? I think I get bored doing nothing....and then I think? and bam there goes the erection. It's always been really hard to cum from BJs and I usually just had my ex give me short BJs while I was opening the condom.

On a happy note, my erection felt noticeably harder tonight while masturbating. Ginkgo or kegels, or both...I don't know, but this is good news! Even while masturbating lately my penis felt somewhat soft (not a 10) so I am glad to see this improve (I am 24 and very healthy, so to not be able to get that rock hard penis even while masturbating is somewhat depressing).

Share any stories!! Make your stand here with me! Especially if your ED is psychological....you can end it!

**Pleasehelp** · 11-30-2010

Hey man , im also 24 and having ED issues. I beleive its mostly due to porn/masturbating too much when we were younger, also having to be private and quick about it over time trains are minds, espically at a young age. I hear ya when you say your mind cant stop thinking.. "am i doing this right"..."maybe i should do this now"...and yada yada. It defenetly sounds like your girlfriend is very understanding... hang on to her!

As humans we have an incredible ablity to overcome things. I think as long as we get are minds on the right track now we WILL recover.

Your game-plan sounds great... positive self talk, excersizes, cut the porn, masturbate less and so on.

**illwill** · 12-01-2010

Yea Bruh i made a post bout basically the same shit my girl would climbed on my dick The moment it got hard, but we had a good time.Yes im pretty sure porns a factor so im detoxing off of that, i jsut started working out agina so ima do kegels on the days i dont squat. my girl cool about it very understanding which makes things WAY easier to deal with. Good luck i wish the same for all of us!!! that self talking shit works too ...as long as no ones watching u lol

**Anonymous20** · 12-01-2010

Story
Ive been with my girlfriend for 5 months and we have done a lot of sexual things together aside from actual penetration. Sometime last week she was giving me oral and everything was fine, but the night right after that though is when I started noticing my problems. We tried the 69 position for the first time and for whatever reason I could not get hard although i don't recall being stressed out or having anxiety about trying the new position. I was pretty worried about not being able to get hard so we decided to stop and just go to sleep.
The next morning we tried again and i achieved an erection and came but I felt like I was only at 80% stiffness. Later that day in the evening we started doing stuff again and I noticed that my erection was going down very quickly.
I figured it was just me being tired and didn’t think too much of it, but after a while I started getting nervous because even when I was alone and watching porn I would only achieve about 40% stiffness without physically touching it directly, and still my erection would go away very quickly unless being constantly stimulated.
History
I have masturbated ever since I was in 8th grade and did it pretty frequently. Maybe once or twice every two days, give or take.
Problem
My penis doesn’t get as erect as easily anymore, and when it does it does not feel at 100% stiffness. Also my penis goes down very quickly without constant stimulation.
Notes
I’m not a doctor, but I believe that it is not psychological because I am very comfortable with my girlfriend, and I don’t recall having any stress or anxiety with my girlfriend that night or that week for the matter.

Please help

**LoveHateRelationship** · 12-07-2010

Originally Posted by Anonymous20

Story
Ive been with my girlfriend for 5 months and we have done a lot of sexual things together aside from actual penetration. Sometime last week she was giving me oral and everything was fine, but the night right after that though is when I started noticing my problems. We tried the 69 position for the first time and for whatever reason I could not get hard although i don't recall being stressed out or having anxiety about trying the new position. I was pretty worried about not being able to get hard so we decided to stop and just go to sleep.
The next morning we tried again and i achieved an erection and came but I felt like I was only at 80% stiffness. Later that day in the evening we started doing stuff again and I noticed that my erection was going down very quickly.
I figured it was just me being tired and didn’t think too much of it, but after a while I started getting nervous because even when I was alone and watching porn I would only achieve about 40% stiffness without physically touching it directly, and still my erection would go away very quickly unless being constantly stimulated.

I would cut any porn and see how that goes for awhile. Since I have cut porn I have noticed improvements.
For now if I were you I would think of it as psychological. The problem is, if you think you have some physical problem, then every time you go to have sex you are heading in with a self-defeating attitude.

Convince yourself that this is temporary. Start doing things that might be able to help like drinking tea or taking some of the supplements recommended by king. Then next time you go at it keep your mind off your erection and just focus on the dirty.

Met with the girl this week. She didn't have time to come over to my place, so went somewhere public and did it = )
No problems getting up and the erection felt strong. The thrill of being found out probably kept me focused and stopped my mind from wandering and thinking about performance.

Also had to move really slowly to keep things quiet and found myself lasting really really long. Probably some of the longest sex I've had. I think I remember just purposefully speeding my movements up so I could cum. Will note this for future sex even if not in public!

**sensiti** · 12-24-2010

STORY - It all happened this summer after I broke up with my gf whom I really loved but couldnt do it due to long distance, maybe it was an emotional breakdown maybe something else (watching excessive amounts of HC/amateur type porn and jerking on them maybe 3 times a day) and now I couldnt get any harder erections any more. I do actually when I watch porn and hand stimulation but what made me shocked was those porn I used to watch and gave me instant boner are no longer effective!
Obviously I had this problem for last 4 months, before I have no problems but less frequent morning woods and massive amounts of pre-cum production. So I assume watching porn was a bad investment for my long term health. Considering being fit and 22 yo inability to get erections is a huge thing.

Several times I attempted to get rid of porn and my most sucessful period was more than two weeks last month and I did see more frequent but still short lived morning woods.
PLAN - Since it is xmas and I do believe in miracles starting now and declaring it here I am no more watch porn, browse websites that can sexually stimulate me and limit my manual stimulation to once per week(maybe even less)
I have korean ginseng 500mg, B complex supplement, Green Tea, Gingko pills, garlic+cod oil pills, and I'll eat more fruit(bananas definetly). Im not sure how to perform kegels properly but I'll try to do 50 per every other day

What I need is success stories and motivation, it is damn hard but considering depending on a pill and inability to have sex anytime anywhere is even more costly.
I do believe it is due to combination of mental and health issues. So I'll try to keep myself calm without thinking sex, masturbation and ghosts of my ex relationships.
I need your support. I promise to keep my post updated.

Merry Christmas guys

A very important note: Even I got an erection if Im lying on a bed my penis would be hard but horizontally not vertical. If I contradict my PC it will help but without doing anything it is not vertical! Thats the most obvious change. Before my problems when I got erection is was towering but after not being able to keep erection it is like this, does anyone figured this out too or is it just me?

**Big Al** · 12-29-2010

Great posts!

Regarding psychological ED- Instinctively your penis will get hard when you're sexually excited, but viewing a sexual encounter with anxiety goes contrary to that. It's literally your mind fabricating negative thoughts that work against your penis. Once it's established that there's likely no real physical component to your ED you'll at least know that there's nothing really "wrong" with you. Some men can shake these incidents off, while others may require a bit more work to get to the root cause of their insecurities.

If you feel yourself suffering from anxiety-induced ED, try to stick to sexual activities that don't cause you anxiety for now and take controlled steps forward. In time you should condition yourself to let go of those interferences. For best results you should practice these methods with an understanding partner.

When you get to the point to where you can view sex as something to enjoy and look forward to- as opposed to some kind of test or challenge then your penis will be much more likely to do what comes naturally.

**wanttogrow** · 01-02-2011

If I might give some advice to you.
1. Dont wear tight pants really, it will cause you to lose feeling.
2. Stay away from all junk food. You see junk foods have so many chemicals that its not funny. Start on greens Kale, spinach, starches. Stay away from gases foods.
3. boxers stay with them and make sure they give you allot of room to move.
Look I read all this in a book for ED as I have serious ED and doesnt seems that I can get it back. I feel numb down there all the time so if it keeps going go to a Neurologist and get checked out. Nerves get pinched and blood needs to flow freely. Sometime going to a bone cracker can really help loosen up the caught nerves. Just stay away from the drugs. Also if you do get on Viagra, its been reported that a six months use will cause the penis to gain its hardness again on its on.

**dexter68569** · 01-07-2011

I Have been here for 2 months now and its about time i start to post rather than PM to senior members and Moderators.

STORY -
I am 26 years old. I am come a country which is obsessed with age old notion of sex after marriage. Though most donot follow it now and i feel if it feels right with the right person one should go about it. I found a great grl in college days but somehow , we both were in differet places and we soon parted ways. This had me crushed as i really liked her and she didn't have that kind of feeling. In frustration , i began to see porn which would relieve me from the emotions of not having her in my life. I got hooked and i wanted to do like a pornstar..for 30- 45 min. Litle did i know that they had some excercise routine whic helps them keep the erection for that long time. This lead me in a wild goose chase and i masturbated more and more and i guess this made me addicted to porn. I use to get good morning wood before that.
CAUSES -
Too much porn and too much negative thoughts. I am a good engineer but shy in matters related to girls. And maybe his shyness has caused me so much trouble.

GAME-PLAN -
90 days JP routine , edging and giving my shaft a lot of rest , otherwise my gains would be lost.Since i am doing my PE, i am getting morning wood, and my shaft feels like it is cranking up for start. But since i am addict to masturbation ,after my ejaculation i loose al the hard made gains. So i am now switching to soft images and my own fantasy. Sometimes i use adult comics, but i ma not so sure as it is the correct thing to do. I need advice on that. I am doing jelq. ..routine for 20 mins ..and edging for 20-30 min after one or two hr break..and sometimes on alternate days.
I am also doing 5 -G of erection. But would not continue for long with these pills....as i want my body to be healthy on it's own.

ADVICE/QUESTIONS -
I got myself checked up by my GP and the ans was .."u are thinking too much"....
Yes he is correct, sex is the most natural thing for a man....and it will come naturally..maybe it is taking time but yes it will.