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My Reboot - 24 years old - 11 years PMO every day

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  • My Reboot - 24 years old - 11 years PMO every day

    Ive been keeping a journal of my Reboot in word. I thought this would be the best place to post it. I only wanted to write a little bit then i ended up writing a novel. Found it therapeutic.

    Some things about me:
    24 years old, Director of a company, PMO for 11 years every day, I watched porntube, redtube. I go to the gym 4 days a week. I’m fit and healthy, i have quite a few friends both boys and girls. Only had sex with 8 women, probably hooked up (spent a night without sex) with at least 60 women.

    Its been 4 years since i thought i had a frustrating problem down stairs (im 24 years old now). I’ve been PMO since the age of 13. When i was in high school I would do it twice a day now I do it once a day. When I PMO the sessions would last 20 minutes and I haven’t went a day without it for the last 10 years.

    I lost my virginity at 18yo. I was pretty drunk dancing on the dance floor and my friend and a hot looking women and i was keen to see if I could hook up. This was in my prime, when i was flirting a lot with women and just wanting to have fun. We had sex 2 times during that night and both times i never came. It was ok but nothing amazing. I realized that my erection was only 60%. I thought it would pass since this is my first time.

    When I turned 18-20 I was going out a lot and almost hooked up with a girl every 3 weeks but I never had sex with them. I only had sex with 3 of the girls because I was so scared up not being able to get it up. I thought it was just nerves back then stopping me. I found it so easy to flirt and my motivation was through the roof.

    When I hit 21years old I had my first real girl friend, we dated for 2 weeks (without sex) and one night she was sick of the excuses stripped down to her sexy undies and just started ripping my clothes off. I knew I wasn’t getting away and she would be extremely angry if I didn’t get down and dirty. So I decided to man up and have sex with her. We had some ok sex, I cumed in 10 minutes. But I realised I was only about 50% hard the whole time. We went out for 1 year had sex all the time and I watched porn on the days she wasn’t with me and I realised my erections were like a rock watching porn and wondered why the hell I can’t get this hard with her. She never complained about the sex, it was the best sex i ever had, but i knew that my erections just aren’t as hard as when I’m jacking off.

    When we broke up I barely hooked up with women while out at bars or clubs, and always had excuses. My male friends always asked me why the hell I never hook up when there are women seriously walking up to me dancing and touching me and I would just turn away. Back when I was 17-20yo I would just grab them flirt with them a bit and hook up, and the thing is when I was 18yo I actually couldn’t help it, it was like I was on auto drive. Now days I have to really try and I know it’s because my brain has become desensitized to women, and i have total lack of libido. I’m scared that they will want to have sex and I couldn't perform. Conclusion is that I’m scared of sex and at the same time you want nothing more than to enjoy a women’s body. A naked Victoria secret model could be yelling the most sexy things to me with her pussy in my face and I wouldn’t be able to get hard. That’s just lame man, seriously lame.

    At age 23 I met this fantastic sexy girl and we got on like a house on fire. I won’t go into the details let’s just get to the sex. The first time we tried to do it, she had to use her hand to get me up and even then it was only at 40% erect. It took about 20 minutes for me to cum and I could tell she thought the sex was kind of lame. I knew it was too. I can see that as I got older the sex got worse. I didn’t know what was going on back then. We had sex every day but I knew she wasn’t completely satisfied and I thought the sex was lame based on my previous experiences. It was always hard for me to get a boner and if we changed positions it would go limp. One night before I was about to stick it in I went soft. That night we tried 3 times in a row and I just couldn’t get it up when it came time to stick it in. Anyway we broke up after a 5 months . It didn’t have to do with the sex because her ex-boyfriend was after her and all sorts of shit hit the fan. Police arrested him, she ended up in hospital because of him. She did mention when we broke up that "she wasn’t that into me with sex anyway."

    After that relationship I tried to have sex couple months after and my erection went soft when we went to change positions.

    Over the last year (now 24yo) I realised I’m starting to get less sensitive. Now I can touch my tip and nothing happens. I remember when I was like 20yo I could touch it and a rush of bloody would come gashing into my penis and I couldn’t help it from happening. I still go out but never hook up anymore. I’m just too scared it will escalate to sex and I would have to embarrass myself with trying to poke them with MR LIMP. One time I had a sexy girl grab me a push me against the wall while dancing and just started making out, she even reached down and grabbed my balls. I just walked away.

    I’m so over it. I feel like my 20’s are slipping away from me. I should be enjoying having sex instead of running from it. And its all because of PMO addiction. I remember getting a boner when a sexy lady walked past, having sexy thoughts, some lady grabbing my balls, and kissing. I remember flirting heaps, wanting to actually talk to women, and wanting to connect with them. Now I am shy, don’t flirt unless I know the women, less motivation to connect with women, and less confident.

    I made a decision to do something about it when I started to like this girl I see once a week. I haven’t asked her out due to my issue. After coming across this website and yourbrainonporn.con I realised that my PMO is probably causing my problem so I’m going to RE-BOOT and QUIT PORN FOREVER!

    Here’s my Rebooting experience.
    __________________________________________________ ___________________________-

    Start December 13 2011-12-16

    Day 4: This is officially 4 times longer than I have ever gone without porn. I’m home on holiday in the rainforest so there aren’t any sexy things to ignite a boner. I’m waking up at night with a boner. I have noticed my tip is a little more sensitive, I guess that counts as progress.

    Day 6: Crazy night out last night and I really wanted to rub one out because I’m hung over and feeling a little down. Today has been difficult to get through because I’m having a lot of sexy thoughts about women. I have noticed my sensitivity to these thoughts have increased, my erections are stronger and I can feel my libido ripping through my skin when I have sexy thoughts which hasn’t happened in years. Today was very hard to not PMO. I did look at some chicks in bikinis on the internet for about an hour and I noticed that my sensitivity to just pictures has increased.

    Day 14: Ive started to just not feel anything sexually and I feel like I have no libido so I guess I have flat lined which means the reboot is on track. Feel like I have more energy and less anxiety. I do feel more happy than usual.

    Day 17: STILL NO PMO. I had a 24th Birthday party. There was a lot of women at this party and I was found it easy to talk to them. I had my eye on this one women and we started chatting. I could feel that I was really motivated to try and keep the conversation going. This hasn’t happened to me in years. I’m actually starting to be motivated to talk to women. We had a decent chat and I felt like I was getting my old confident self back. After 10 minutes of talking some guy grabbed her and took her outside so I didn’t pursue her.

    There was another women at the party that I knew but haven’t seen in years. We had a few drinks together and I could tell she wanted to hook up. The conversation we had was very flirty and touchy feely. So we went outside and started kissing, then BOOM, I had a hard on. I was like FUCKEN SWEET! Best hard on I had because this hasn’t happened in years either. We went to the pool and some of my friends came, and she came with me. We were making out in the pool she was grinding me and I had a hard on the whole time. We stayed in the pool for couple of hours and I started to sober up. She was ok looking but not good enough for me to have sex and stuff up my reboot. I have bigger things on my mind and my goal is to get to 60 days. I won’t have sex unless she is worth it. So we departed. I will be going out tomorrow night for NYE and I will see if I’m still motivated and want to tune some women. I’m just really happy that my motivation to talk to women is back and I can get a hard on now with just one kiss.

    Today I was hung over and I started to have fantasies and looked at photos of girls in bikinis for about 45 minutes. I didn’t watch any porn though. I refuse to. It was hard to get a hard on. I think it’s because I’m flat lining and have no libido. Back when I was 17yo I was able to look at a bikini photo and get a hard on real quick, plus there would be this real deep profound feeling that made me want to just do anything to find a women and have sex. I guess that’s my libido. At this point none of that happens. When it does I know im back to normal. I also notice that my sensitivity on my tip is getting more sensitive.

    Day 21 - Still No porn, masturbation, and orgasm / Updated Edit 3rd Juanuary 2012

    I just had 3 days in a row of no morning wood and i don't feel my libido so i guess im definitely flat lining now.

    My penis looks much more healthy and my tip has become more sensitive.

    I know i shouldn't of but i tried to force an erection just by touch yesterday to see if it still works. It took about a minute to minute and a half to become fully erect. Fully erect i noticed it was larger, felt more full and solid, looked more healthy, and my tip was more flared. It was the hardest erection i had in years. I was fully erect for about a minute then i stopped. It went down really quickly. I wont be doing this again since it might cause a relapse since it felt so good to touch it.

    We all hear about peoples mental state becoming better when rebooting. In my case this is true. I feel good today and very focused to just work on my business. The only reason i feel this is true is because i can maintain this happier mental state for longer periods of time.

    I'm currently on holiday and will be going back home this Friday. On my original first post i said that there is a women i'm interested in. We meet every couple of weeks and have fantastic chats with lots of flirting. She is my supplement supplier for my gym routine. I'm going to ask her out when i see her next since she flirts with me so i know she is keen. If i don't ask her she will begin to wonder why and maybe go cold. She was one of the reasons i rebooted.

    My face usually gets a pimple a week and is kind of geesy on the forred. My acne has dramatically decreased and i havent had any acne issues since my reboot.

    Im going to start taking 5G's, if anyone thinks this is a bad idea during a reboot let me know.

    I will continue to write about my experience every few days.
    Last edited by drknoba; 01-02-2012, 06:05 PM.
    Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

  • #2
    Do you have early morning erection when ur rebooting???

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    • #3
      Kenlee6 most days i do wake up with a morning erection. I just woke up then and i had a morning erection. But for the rest of the day i don't get any spontaneous erections.
      Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

      Comment


      • #4
        Stay strong man! Theres gonna be plenty of ups and downs you just gotta keep grinding and know that better days are ahead. Im 100+ days into the rebooting process and I feel fully rebooted but I wont say Im 100% good until I have sex successfully(only done it once with the aid of cialis).

        Let me give you a few tips. Theres gonna be a point where you have absolutely NO libido. You read on yourbrainonporn about this and people always say it comes back but it doesnt help when it happens to you. Even though I read that stuff I still was wondering if it would come back. Well it definitely does! I get super hard erections all the time now when before they would only be so so. With the aid of rebooting + PE I have added .5 inches just based off of EQ. Morning wood is pretty much an everyday thing for me now.

        If I were you I wouldnt look at ANY pictures. Even though its not as bad as porn its still a visual image, you need to re program yourself to react to physical stimulation, not visual. Also I didnt masturbate(or hardly even touch myself for that matter) until I was about 90-100 days in. There comes a point though where you know it wont hurt and you just HAVE to rub one out(to the feeling).

        Also, and this is the most important thing IMO, do NOT think that one time wont hurt. It'll start you right over from square one. Its gonna be hard, and very tempting but DONT do it. What happened to me was I thought that, then did it and just felt like complete shit afterwards. Told myself never again.

        Good luck man and keep this in mind: stay strong, keep grinding, and you WILL be fine, trust me. Oh and Im 21 and had been PMO'ing for about 10 years or so before my reboot.

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        • #5
          Just figured it up its been roughly 130 days since I last PMO'd.

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          • #6
            Good to know u guys are on the right track. I am on 62 days of rebooting. I do come across pics of ladies with bikinis on and off due to the advert on websites. Hope it doesn't affect my rebooting. Anyway i still havent gotten back my morning wood. Still looking forward to see the light at the end of the tunnel

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            • #7
              Not something simple like that wont affect anything. Ive watched movies and a sex scene would come on with titties everywhere and you could kinda get that same feeling but as long as you dont masturbate to it you'll be fine. Just dont make it a habit to look up pictures.

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              • #8
                Thanks needhelp.

                Yeah i have now stopped the pictures. I understand that this is an addiction. Its the equivalent of being a hard alcoholic and saying i quit, then going off and having a beer a day instead of 20.

                The stories i hear from people who have successfully rebooted keeps me motivated to not relapse. I find the most tempting times are when im feeling a little down or im hungover from a party. On days like this i would PMO up to 3 times in a day.

                I feel like im starting to flatline or already have.
                Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I was having a shower and i was touching my tip and i realized that my sensitivity has increase a lot.

                  One of my major reasons for rebooting was my sensitivity was very low. I noticed that it was a lot less sensitive than a couple months ago and i started to get a little worried.

                  Im very glad the sensitivity is coming back. It felt so good to touch it. I so wish i could orgasm right now without stuffing up my reboot.
                  Last edited by drknoba; 01-01-2012, 05:36 AM.
                  Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    im also rebooting and i got morning wood is that good sign? problem is that i just watched some non nude pics because i do have to use the computer to do bank transactionsjesus christ i had a full full reboot but guys even some pics will break your reboot and i just got the proof of it

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                    • #11
                      Today was day 64 for me, still waiting on the morning wood as well. Once I get that back, I think I'll be in good shape.

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                      • #12
                        Thanks Star

                        Im def not going to even look at pics of women in bikinis. I stopped about 3 days ago but having red your post gives me further motivation to not look. I can feel myself tempted to look but thats my addiction speaking.

                        I have this massive need to have a release and orgasm. My balls feel so full. Im not going to though. I have my eye on the prize.
                        Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by drknoba View Post
                          Thanks StarIm def not going to even look at pics of women in bikinis. I stopped about 3 days ago but having red your post gives me further motivation to not look. I can feel myself tempted to look but thats my addiction speaking.I have this massive need to have a release and orgasm. My balls feel so full. Im not going to though. I have my eye on the prize.
                          You will see the prize, try full abstianing for 2-3 months but i also go pre-e so abstinence doesnt really have that much benefits but its the first time in my life that i havent masturbated and so long and dont feel like doing it for further months because thats how motivated im to heal but the accident of today just proves me that ive to stop going on the computer untill the summer. The problem seems to be that i do have a mental problem when i think of any pic with girls can break my reboot (go to work, gym etc). I think its time for me to stop but i havent done enough expirementing to know what causes my ED but im pretty sure its bikini to porn pics which means that no pics of girls AT ALL. I was on a 3 weeks reboot but im also on full absitnation from masturbation, this time it will be the first time i stop masturbation for a good chunk of months

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by star99 View Post
                            You will see the prize, try full abstianing for 2-3 months but i also go pre-e so abstinence doesnt really have that much benefits but its the first time in my life that i havent masturbated and so long and dont feel like doing it for further months because thats how motivated im to heal but the accident of today just proves me that ive to stop going on the computer untill the summer. The problem seems to be that i do have a mental problem when i think of any pic with girls can break my reboot (go to work, gym etc). I think its time for me to stop but i havent done enough expirementing to know what causes my ED but im pretty sure its bikini to porn pics which means that no pics of girls AT ALL. I was on a 3 weeks reboot but im also on full absitnation from masturbation, this time it will be the first time i stop masturbation for a good chunk of months
                            This is essential to a full reboot.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Totenkopf View Post
                              Today was day 64 for me, still waiting on the morning wood as well. Once I get that back, I think I'll be in good shape.
                              I dont remember when it was for me, but you should have it back in the next month IMO.

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