- 05-23-2012 #1
- Join Date
- May 2012
To start with, I am a 21 year old male. I work an office job, and I do not have any sort of regular exercise program. I am average weight.
For as long as I care to remember, I have never had erections that "stand up" or go rock hard. What I mean to say, is I do not recall ever being able to get an erection strong enough for intercourse if I was lying on my back.
For some time now, perhaps around three years, I've noticed that to get an erection hard enough for intercourse, I would need to squeeze my kegel muscle, and I can feel more blood going to my penis. However, once I stop the squeeze, my erection returns to how it was before squeezing, so to keep a reasonable erection that can be used for intercourse, I need to hold/squeeze around the base of my penis which stops the blood from escaping.
The first time I had sex was in my late 17's. I don't recall having any particular issue with getting an erection for sex, and I remember that I did not have to squeeze my penis at the base during sex. I remember that I did lose my erection after pulling out/stopping stimulation, and that I needed a BJ and a new condom to go again. I was not able to climax with this girl unless I squeezed my kegel muscle. This applies for both sex and blowjobs etc. I never climaxed without assisting myself with kegel stretches.
Up until the last few months, I had not had any sexual partners since late 17's (frustratingly long time, yes). I have been heavily into porn since then, perhaps masturbating every alternate or every three days, usually only once a day. Somehow overtime during this process I've made it impossible for myself to climax unless I do kegel stretches. Also, if I stop stimulation, I go back to a having a semi erection, and can only keep a 75% hardness style erection by constant stimulation as well as kegels and squeezing the bottom of my penis to hold the blood in.
I paid little attention to this until now. I have a sexual partner that I am deeply in love with. The first time we had sex, I only squeezed the bottom to get harder for the first thrust in, and then just kept thrusting, but lasted perhaps only two minutes till I came.
The next couple of times I had sex, I masturbated maybe 30 mins before attempting intercourse, and the squeezing of the base was needed more so, but I was able to last longer. The problem I have here is that, to keep the properish-erection going I have to squeeze and do kegels... but it is the act of doing the kegels that cause me to climax. If I keep on fucking for a bit without doing kegels or squeezing the base, I feel I could go for an hour without climaxing, but my erection would die down.
Here comes the killer. The most recent time I went to have sex, I did the usual. Once I was hardish, did a kegel to get more blood in, held the base of my penis, put the condom on, and started intercourse. After a short while I felt a bit uncomfortable with the condom and was losing my erection, but no amount of kegels or squeezing the base was bringing me back. I attempted various positions, and the embarrassment and awkwardness of the situation peaked, where no matter what I tried, I could not penetrate. The fact I kept trying to penetrate when I wasn't hard enough to... the thought of it drives me insane.
The next night I tried a variety of condoms alone during solo masturbation after reading online about such things. I had the thought in my mind "If it's only psychological, I'll be fine when going solo". I'm still stuck in the kegel+squeeze base of penis cycle. So it can't just be nerves when I'm with my girl.
This whole ordeal is currently driving me nuts. I've been reading online/researching constantly, even though I've tried not to. I am currently not going to masturbate at all/no porn. I feel that the idea of this whole situation might even start a psychological issue as well when I'm with my girl, as I'll be scared of not being able to perform the next time the chance comes up.
When I was in my early teens, I remember masturbating by "dry humping" so to speak with a semi flat against the bed for example, and being able to ejaculate by doing so. Have I fucked my body up by doing this? Is it possible I've trained my body completely wrong. I also used recreational drugs (but so have many people with no ED issues at all) such as MDMA, back when I was 18/19. Could it simply be that by using masturbation as it's own act with it's own rules, instead of an emulation of sex, I've trained myself TOTALLY wrong?
The fact that I can't be on my back and have an erection hard enough for intercourse so that my girl can be on top, is extremely depressing.
I am going to a doctor tonight, but I am not getting my hopes up considering my age. I kinda expect the "do more exercise" response, but I seriously can't see this making a difference.
If you can relate to absolutely anything in the post, and have had a positive result with something, please share. I'm sure other people out there can understand how much this is messing with my head.
Last edited by lollers; 05-23-2012 at 03:26 AM.
- 05-23-2012 #2
Post what the doc says.
- 05-23-2012 #3
- Join Date
- May 2012
Slight edit: The erection without kegels or squeezing is enough I would think to penetrate when on top, but certainly not if I am only back.
- 05-23-2012 #4
Wow there are so many things you are doing wrong, i cant highlight them all. Lets just say you need a crash course on erections...
- 05-23-2012 #5
- Join Date
- May 2012
As for the doc, he gave me a once off prescription for 4x 50mg of Viagra. I was slightly relieved with a sense of hope, but quickly felt terrible as you can imagine how it feels to even be in this situation at my age. I still feel very down. He asked me if I wanted to give it a go, so I said yes. He mentioned that if it wasn't satisfactory, then I should come back to get testosterone checked, and also referred to a specialist for further testing. He mentioned that my blood pressure is fine, however I have some tremors, so he suspects there may be some anxiety. Previous blood tests showed a slightly overactive thyroid. He mentioned that if there were some anxiety issues, it wouldn't necessarily mean I would have better erections when masturbating, and only have issues when with a partner. He did not ask about my diet or fitness etc.
He said to just take one whole 50mg pill....
Once I find a chemist and muster up the courage to hand in the script, I will have four of the expensive bastards. If you have any tips for how I should approach my first usage, please share. Understand that my girl does not know about any of this, and there is no way I could let that happen.
- 05-23-2012 #6
The doc thinks it is a head issue that will resolve with confidence.
The 50 mg is a high dose.
- 05-23-2012 #7
- Join Date
- Oct 2011
- 05-23-2012 #8
You are currently facing a problem of sexual performance anxiety which is a direct result of sexual inexperience coupled with lack of enough knowledge of erections and maybe porn/masturbation. Like i tell many young guys, its important at this phase to not let the placebo effect take control of you. because once it does then few things can help you until you "come back".
Viagra you say? Four pills? How much will that cost you? But most importantly, do you think it will solve your root problem? There are cheaper and better alternatives that will actually work. Look into those.
- 05-23-2012 #9
- Join Date
- May 2012
The reason I don't feel like it's sexual performance anxiety so much, is because the hardest my erection can get during masturbation to porn, is the same during sex. Surely it can't be right for me to not ever be able to have an erection strong enough to have sex with the girl on top. If it is true that frequent masturbation to porn could have a detrimental effect like what I am experiencing, this would seem to make a bit more sense to me. I would have masturbated a ridiculous amount of times to porn before meeting up with my current partner, and each time perhaps no longer than 10-15mins. I could however see some sexual performance anxiety issues possible when it comes to condom use. In my mind I'd contribute the condom as being a factor in the loss of erection and/or weakening. It does not help that I have to as I say, squeeze the base to get an erection that works best for putting on the condom.
I'm a short guy and weigh around 60kg, so I'll have to read a bit more before I decide if trying 50mg of Viagra could be overkill. This stuff seems to require somewhat of a strategy unfortunately. Taking it at the right moment, doing so without being suspect etc. The stuff is way too expensive to waste. I was considering trying one just for masturbation as a test, but it seems not worth it considering you only get four for the price.
Obviously I don't want to have to take these things continually, so if you can point me to key areas that you know could help my issues, I would greatly appreciate it. Currently I am completely off porn/masturbation, unfortunately the last times I tried to see how long I could last just out of curiosity, I ended up having wet dreams perhaps 4/7 days in, which made me feel kind of cheated. I guess my libido is fine then?
I'm trying to adjust my diet as much as possible, and currently taking a multivitamin. I guess the gym wouldn't be a bad idea at this stage either.
- 05-23-2012 #10
By the way how hard does your penis get and how hard do you want it to get or do you think its supposed to get? Are you talking about angle of erection or about how much blood engorges the penis?
Seek knowledge and experience first. Its always better than mere solutions or quick fixes. Although you can also take the pills and then come back and tell us how it went. Just make sure not to overdose coz that stuff can kill.
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