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Thread: My life is ruined.

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  1. 06-09-2012 #1
    jelqinginjury
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    So, I'm 21 and healthy (no STDs, no health problems) and athletic. I don't smoke, but drink occasionally. I've never had any erection problems until recently. My penis doesn't feel the same anymore. I've performed both Kegel and Jelking exercizes to develop a stronger and firmer penis, but I am nervous that I may have damaged some nerves or tissues. I've been going out with my girlfriend for almost a month now, and I really find her attractive. When we're about to have sex, I have trouble getting an erection. If I do get an erection, it doesn't last for long. After visiting the urologist, he said it is all mental because I'm too young to have ED, however I doubt it's mental. I'm very comfortable around this girl, but it's hard to keep an erection. I was so self-conscious that I asked my urologist to prescribe me viagra, so I took 50MG on two occasions to ensure my penis would have an erection.

    This has been the case for quite some time now, and it's really worrying me a lot. Before this issue, I was able to get hard like a rock and maintain an erection for as long as it was needed. Now, I feel it's not as sensitive (allowing me to have sex longer) and harder to maintain the erection. Does anyone know what the issue might be? Does anyone know of any remedies? I would do anything to go back in time and have my penis feeling more sensitive.
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  2. 06-09-2012 #2
    BTBrian
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    I promise you it is all mental man, it is all in your head.!
    Last edited by BTBrian; 06-09-2012 at 11:16 AM.
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  3. 06-09-2012 #3
    jelqinginjury
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    Quote Originally Posted by BTBrian View Post
    I promise you it is all mental man, if is all in your head.!
    I hope so, but I'm not sure why it doesn't feel the same anymore when having sex in terms of sensitivity. Also, I've recently noticed that around my genitals area, it began to itch, but I've taken tests to rule out any STDs. It may be yeast infection, but I'm not sure if that can cause issues with my erection? If it's all mental, what do I think about while having sex to maintain the erection? Usually, being self-conscious about my penis makes it worse because that's all I think about while having sex. Last time I had sex with my GF, she stopped in the middle of it because my penis became soft while it was in her, and she just didn't say anything. I was mortified after that happened, and quickly popped a pill to re-erect my penis. She feels like she isn't attractive enough because of my penis issues, and I keep reiterating that I find her really attractive and it's not her. I don't feel comfortable telling her my issues as this relationship is too early and I was hoping I'd remedy the issue quick. I'm OCD about this and hope I can find a cure or get help from someone on this forum.
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  4. 06-09-2012 #4
    Toadstool
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    There's no 'cure' for performance anxiety. You need to calm down and relax and enjoy the moment. Focus on the moment.

    You're putting a lot of stress onto yourself, with the fear of STDs, checking, worrying about loss of sensation. I'm putting 10 bucks on the table that says you're fine, it's all in your head. Well, you even said you're self conscious, so you KNOW it's in your head. On the plus side, you're in the right place for a support group to deal with these issues.
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  5. 06-09-2012 #5
    litopita
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    Quote Originally Posted by worriedguy View Post
    So, I'm 21 and healthy (no STDs, no health problems) and athletic. I don't smoke, but drink occasionally. I've never had any erection problems until recently. My penis doesn't feel the same anymore. I've performed both Kegel and Jelking exercizes to develop a stronger and firmer penis, but I am nervous that I may have damaged some nerves or tissues. I've been going out with my girlfriend for almost a month now, and I really find her attractive. When we're about to have sex, I have trouble getting an erection. If I do get an erection, it doesn't last for long. After visiting the urologist, he said it is all mental because I'm too young to have ED, however I doubt it's mental. I'm very comfortable around this girl, but it's hard to keep an erection. I was so self-conscious that I asked my urologist to prescribe me viagra, so I took 50MG on two occasions to ensure my penis would have an erection.

    This has been the case for quite some time now, and it's really worrying me a lot. Before this issue, I was able to get hard like a rock and maintain an erection for as long as it was needed. Now, I feel it's not as sensitive (allowing me to have sex longer) and harder to maintain the erection. Does anyone know what the issue might be? Does anyone know of any remedies? I would do anything to go back in time and have my penis feeling more sensitive.
    Right now you are going through the initial phase of sexual performance anxiety I like to call "Shock and Awe". You just dont "understand" whats happening. And because of this, your mind is using what we call "biased evaluation" to try and "reason" things out with you. But unfortunately it is this same mind that is creating the problem in the first place. Thats the paradox of SPA.

    Crucial for you at this moment is going to be knowledge, not mere "solutions". Knowledge about what exactly is happening. Once you have knowledge then its easy to defeat a problem. I will send you some info to get you on your way. You can relax
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  6. 06-09-2012 #6
    jelqinginjury
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    Quote Originally Posted by Toadstool View Post
    There's no 'cure' for performance anxiety. You need to calm down and relax and enjoy the moment. Focus on the moment.

    You're putting a lot of stress onto yourself, with the fear of STDs, checking, worrying about loss of sensation. I'm putting 10 bucks on the table that says you're fine, it's all in your head. Well, you even said you're self conscious, so you KNOW it's in your head. On the plus side, you're in the right place for a support group to deal with these issues.
    So you don't think it may be any injuries when jelqing/kegling? I want to rule that out, as it's a little hard to discuss that with the doctor lol. Thanks for all the advice in this thread, it's truly appreciated.
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  7. 06-09-2012 #7
    bigmoe5067
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    Quote Originally Posted by worriedguy View Post
    So you don't think it may be any injuries when jelqing/kegling? I want to rule that out, as it's a little hard to discuss that with the doctor lol. Thanks for all the advice in this thread, it's truly appreciated.
    not an injury but how long have you been jelqing and kegeling? if it hasnt been for long, you may just need to cut down on your routine. if your Bc muscle and the tissues of your penis is too stressed then your eq will drop to like 70-80%. this initial loss of eq though can steam roll into performance anxiety based ED if you let it.

    take a week off from exercises and get a little drunk the next time before you 2 have sex
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  8. 06-09-2012 #8
    jelqinginjury
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigmoe5067 View Post
    not an injury but how long have you been jelqing and kegeling? if it hasnt been for long, you may just need to cut down on your routine. if your Bc muscle and the tissues of your penis is too stressed then your eq will drop to like 70-80%. this initial loss of eq though can steam roll into performance anxiety based ED if you let it.

    take a week off from exercises and get a little drunk the next time before you 2 have sex
    I haven't done it in a while, that's what's really scary! I feel like my libido/sex drive is extremely low. I don't have any needs for masturbation anymore. I don't even enjoy sex all that much. I know this isn't me because I've always had high sex drives and loved it, but now, I feel like there's something wrong physically. I highly doubt it's performance anxiety; I'm very comfortable around her :/
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  9. 06-09-2012 #9
    Hanma
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    Eh, sometimes your dick just doesn't want to get up. Happens to everyone. Are you confident in yourself in general? And, get your testosterone levels checked if you're so worried.
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  10. 06-15-2012 #10
    thatswhatshesaid
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    Its all performance anxiety.... the more you worry about getting a boner the worse off you are. I know this because it used to happen to me. I have a slight left curve that causes high anxiety. So much that I'd worry about the girl noticing it and judging me etc...now i just don't think about it and don't care. Its all due to trying too hard. Dont try
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