loss of erection during sex and masturbation

[ransu1 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ransu1]

I am new to the gym, so I hope this post is in the right forum. I have not yet begun a PE training regiment but am starting soon. I am 35 and have had plenty of sex, however my performance has not always been up to my standards. In the past I have turned to supplements to improve my stamina and help with my anxiety. Recently I began trying to increase my staying power by what I thought was edging, but I must be doing something wrong. If I stop/start for too long or get too close to my PONR too many times I completely lose my erection and nothing will get it back up. My penis becomes the smallest and most flaccid that it can possibly be. On the rare occasion that I do get aroused again, I cum before I'm even fully hard. This frustrates myself and my gf - she feels like its her fault that I cant stay hard, but like the title says: this happens when I masturbate too. I am no longer with said gf for other reasons, but I cant help but feel that this is one as well. Any advice is appreciated.

[Samurai Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Samurai]

Hey ransu, I have experienced this aswell except I don't completely lose my erection. What i think is happening is that you are having dry orgasms(they can feel a lot less than a normal orgasm). You are then going into a small refractory period. When I say small, i mean smaller than it would be if you had ejaculated. I also believe that it is the anxiety that is knocking you out cold. i mean you are thinking "Omg, I'm going soft again" which of course leads to a fully blown turtling effect. In fact this happened to me while masturbating 1 hour ago. I reached ponr a few times, lost the erection due to an interuption. When i got back to trying to get hard again I wanted to cum at 60% erect. I ploughed through and got fully erect before i came.
This is my theory on what is happening to you. I just believe that over thinking and anxiety is blowing the problem out of proportion. Good luck, buddy.

[ransu1 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ransu1]

Thanks samurai. I too first thought that it was a dry orgasm, only my refractory was not smaller but longer. Usually I would have to sleep it off, and even after that I would be a minute-man without a full erection. You are probably right about my anxiety controlling my penis. How can I know that this is a dry orgasm and built my confidence back up enough to make it to "round 2"?

[bautista19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bautista19]

If I stop/start for too long or get too close to my PONR too many times I completely lose my erection and nothing will get it back up.

Maybe it's possible you are having orgasms, and are therefore entering your refractory period.

I'm going to pm you, you sound a lot like me.

[Samurai Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Samurai]

ransu, you can do a little test as well to see if you are retro-ejaculating (I think this is the word). Retro-ejaculating is where you you ejaculate inside your body instead of outside. The semen travels back into the bladder and down the toilet when you urinate. To see if this is happening, the next time you have this episode of ponr and loss of erection. Pee into a clear empty palstic bottle. Let it settle for about 10 mins. If you can see white thick stuff floating around in there, that is your semen. So you have in fact been ejaculating inside. I did this test and found that a few times I had partially ejaculated into my bladder but not fully because the next time i did cum it was a big load. Definitely not a partial load.

[ransu1 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ransu1]

I believe that it is either dry orgasms or "retro-ejaculating" that I am experiencing. Is there any way to stop this from happening or to know when it is the "point of no ejaculation"?