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When things got hot, I lost my erection....

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  • When things got hot, I lost my erection....

    Hey guys,

    I'm a still a young dude and never had any trouble with my unit (just that I want it a little bigger) and last weekend I met up with a women for sex. She works out at the same gym and one thing lead to another so we met up. I got inside she got me something to drink and after a while we went to her bedroom. We start kissing, I was getting pretty exciting and hard and I ate her out for a pretty long time, still hard nothing wrong but then... she rolled on top of me starting to lick and kiss my balls working her way up to my unit and she starting sucking it and I just slowly started to lose my erection. So I turned her over fast and started to eat her out again, but I just couldn't get it up again. So I ended up fingerfucking and eating her out.

    Does anyone has any advice? I already cutted porn a couple of weeks ago since I heard it wasn't so good for you to watch it too often and I also only masturbate like once a week... The only thing what was different than other times was that I thought like would it be big enough for her and pretty much after that it was over so I guess that could be a big factor, but like how can get that out of my head. Because now I know she like mine she even asked when I could come over next time because she really liked the oral session and wants the D too, but now I'm like anxious about it happening again. I never felt so embarrassed.... Please someone give me some advice.

  • #2
    Sounds like you had a case of anxiety, the good news is that she was satisfied with the action you did have and even though you could not get the erection going, that did not deter her. She invited you over for more (score!). I will said count yourself lucky, you seem to have gotten an understanding lady. Relax and go enjoy each other. Get out of your head and pay attention to was in front of you, stay in the moment. Good luck and have fun, we all have of days shake it off and go for the gold!
    MrsLooking4more
    Retired Super Moderator
    Member of the Month Feb 2013
    PEGym Hero
    Last edited by MrsLooking4more; 08-17-2013, 05:46 PM.
    ​Mrs. L4M
    BDSM Safe, Sane & Consensual
    Hubby's Routine

    BPEL 6.5 +1.5 ~>8.0 02/2013
    MEG. 4.7 +1.3 ~>6.0 03/2013

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    • #3
      Originally posted by MrsLooking4more View Post
      Sounds like you had a case of anxiety, the good news is that she was satisfied with the action you did have and even though you could not get the erection going, that did not deter her. She invited you over for more (score!). I will said count yourself lucky, you seem to have gotten an understanding lady. Relax and go enjoy each other. Get out of your head and pay attention to was in front of you, stay in the moment. Good luck and have fun, we all have of day shake it off and go for the gold!
      I appreciate your advice and she really was understanding, we even layed next to eachother talking for about an hour or so, but the thing that really bothered me was that even when I was calm and relaxed I just couldn't get it up again and I'm afraid it will stay in my head and next time thinking like oh no don't want it to happen again and that because of me thinking that that it will happen again you know?

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      • #4
        I agree with MrsL4M, sounds like you worked yourself up..or down as it were. I believe Dangler posted not too long ago about double positive reinforcement. So, for every negative thought you have, immediately replace it with two good thoughts.

        So, if you think "What if I can't get it up?" Instead think "Not only will I get it up, but she'll love how hard I get!"
        Or if you think "She might not like it", instead think "She loved my oral so much, she's back for more, and she wants sex!"

        Relax, and have fun. Sounds to me she likes everything you got, so give her what she wants
        Going an inch and 1/2 deeper than before

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        • #5
          Originally posted by workin_4_it View Post
          I agree with MrsL4M, sounds like you worked yourself up..or down as it were. I believe Dangler posted not too long ago about double positive reinforcement. So, for every negative thought you have, immediately replace it with two good thoughts.

          So, if you think "What if I can't get it up?" Instead think "Not only will I get it up, but she'll love how hard I get!"
          Or if you think "She might not like it", instead think "She loved my oral so much, she's back for more, and she wants sex!"

          Relax, and have fun. Sounds to me she likes everything you got, so give her what she wants
          Alright fuck it I'll go over there give her what she wants and show her some of my moves next time!!

          Thanks for your advice man, you too MrsL4M.

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          • #6
            That's the spirit, go get 'em tiger.
            Last edited by BigO; 08-17-2013, 07:28 PM.
            Going an inch and 1/2 deeper than before

            Comment


            • #7
              I asked Dangler himself about his post, and he kindly replied with a better explanation.

              Thank you Dangler.

              "It is about managing your thinking & thoughts. When you catch yourself harboring or lingering on a negative aspect
              (of whatever), it is your
              opportunity & responsibility to come up with an equally strong (offsetting)positive thought.

              I won't be able to satisfy her, my penis is too small.
              then
              I just might be great & satisfy her, she'll love me & my penis.

              I will not be able to keep my erection
              then
              I will be able to keep it erect & enjoy myself.

              All about maintaining a balance.
              Dangler
              "
              Going an inch and 1/2 deeper than before

              Comment


              • #8
                Hey Weightlifter,

                Although I agree that "performance anxiety" occurred after the incident, it may be important to note that the initial incident may not have been a "mental" issue at all but a "physical" one, especially since you never suffered from it before. The woman-on-top position you were in can make it difficult to maintain an erection for an extended period of time because gravity kicks in causing the blood flow of the penis not only to lessen but flow back into the body; causing you to lose your erection. Try a different position with her next time.

                It you continue having an issue despite changing the position, please feel free to PM me for an NLP technique that can assist you with the performance anxiety.

                Good Luck.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by thepassionatewife View Post
                  Hey Weightlifter,

                  Although I agree that "performance anxiety" occurred after the incident, it may be important to note that the initial incident may not have been a "mental" issue at all but a "physical" one, especially since you never suffered from it before. The woman-on-top position you were in can make it difficult to maintain an erection for an extended period of time because gravity kicks in causing the blood flow of the penis not only to lessen but flow back into the body; causing you to lose your erection. Try a different position with her next time.

                  It you continue having an issue despite changing the position, please feel free to PM me for an NLP technique that can assist you with the performance anxiety.

                  Good Luck.
                  Thank you for your advice, but I often got bj's laying down without any problem. That doesn't mean I'm not going to try out what you said next time. I will add that one part of the problem can also be that I've took a big break from PE, like already a month orso, but I'm definitely going to devote myself to it again (without dedication nothings gonna happen). I did notice less frequent erections, no morning wood, not as rockhard as I've always been. This can also be a big factor right? If someone has some input about it, please share. Thank you.

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