Sex life over before it really began. Depressed

[PumpSon! Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close PumpSon!]

I'm 21

had my first gf at 17 and we began having sex and I noticed no matter how often we did it, I could only last 10 seconds or less sometimes

aniety began

lost all confidence, OCD took hold of anxieties and they snowballed, couldn't get an erection and when I did I barely lasted a few pumps

was 19 at this point

have tried doing stuff with other women since, always ended the same, either anxiety kicked in and couldn't get it up or prem ejaced

now 21, have had lots of opportunities, pass them up, too anxious about my inevitable performance (or lack thereof) and no sexual confidence

as soon as I get close to a woman to the point of getting sexual I push them away

lonelier than ever

21 - 'prime of my life'. I'm depressed. I'll never have a girlfriend (I'm a fun, social decent looking guy in every other aspect). Will never have a normal sex life. I'm in my prime of fertility and can't even uphold my own biological purpose.


Is there medication I can take for Prem ejac? I'm already on anxiety meds and anti depressants but it doesn't really help. Am I destined to be lonely? All my problems feed into each other and I think the problem is beyond help.


Also, when I was 17 it wasn't such a big deal, but now I'm 21 everyone EXPECTS sex. It's abnormal if you don't/can't. I'm doomed

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

Not the answer to your problem but Promoscent spray. Short term relief, I assume you are using condoms? I would use two at a time, you are not alone with this issue at your age. Actually nice that you are thinking about the gals pleasure. I just shot my wad and went back to the bar. Idiot me!

[zezeze Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close zezeze]

Yes, there is at least one very effective medication for this issue that has helped many men overcoming it completely over time. I am sure people here will advice against it and suggest some natural techniques, but at times meds are the best way to go, especially since the problem hasnt resolved itself 4 years and has made you so depressed. Even if you decide "drugs" are the last resort, knowing that there is help is good to know. I suggest contacting ED specialist in private sector to decide the best med since you are already on other drugs.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Well being depressed will surely help you get a girl won't it? Well maybe you should think about getting your head on straight and you'll do fine. Your brain is making things far worse than it really should be.

[popol5169 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close popol5169]

We have a premature ejaculation subforum you need to look into. Start reading the links provided in the stickied thread. Start moving forward to try and solve your problem instead of soaking yourself into it (I've done that and it doesn't help).

[elijohnson Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close elijohnson]

I assume you are using condoms? I would use two at a time

Don't do that. The friction between layers makes them break.

[jockinthebox Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2015PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close jockinthebox]

If you are a healthy 21 yo male, drugs are not the answer. They are likely to do more harm than good physiologically long-term (IMO). If you are truly committed to overcoming your pre-E, you can. It takes work and lots of practice, but some will always seek drugs to "solve" their problems. Truth is, unless you have a biological or physiological reason (injury, PORN addiction you're unwilling to give up), then building on the principals we encourage here at the gym will work for the vast majority of healthy guys with pre-E. But, it takes commitment and lots of diligence...something lacking in some individuals. What we offer is free, advice, open-minded discussion and encouragement to help you along the way. You decide if you're up to making the effort, we can't do that for you.

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

I agree with zezeze on one point. If you are going to seek medication you should seek professional help. Dont wing it on the internet. I however think you should read and practice the premature ejaculation advice on our forums. By doing this you can gain confidence by hello g yourself and that will help with more than just your penis. Good luck brother you can do this.

[zezeze Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close zezeze]

If you are a healthy 21 yo male, drugs are not the answer. They are likely to do more harm than good physiologically long-term (IMO). If you are truly committed to overcoming your pre-E, you can. It takes work and lots of practice, but some will always seek drugs to "solve" their problems. Truth is, unless you have a biological or physiological reason (injury, PORN addiction you're unwilling to give up), then building on the principals we encourage here at the gym will work for the vast majority of healthy guys with pre-E. But, it takes commitment and lots of diligence...something lacking in some individuals. What we offer is free, advice, open-minded discussion and encouragement to help you along the way. You decide if you're up to making the effort, we can't do that for you.

It is completely misleading to say ED/PE drugs do more harm physiologically than good. I don't think there's any evidence to that. They are in fact considered very safe.

I am not saying drugs are the way to go, nor that they are bad, I do believe educating people on all possibilities is the proper way to deal sex issues. Not just being narrow minded on these topics.

This problem can of course be overcome by natural means but as you say it requires lots of patience on the guy, what you don't say is that it also equally takes that from the partner. If you have been lucky enough to have found a girl that is willing to go through with this for possibility weeks, months or even much more ( and some men struggle with this their entire life) then good for you.

The truth is that sex problems can be a big strain on the relationship and can also take away the possibility for casual relationships altogether. Drugs exists, safe ones, that can potentially let you overcome the problem overnight (yes, sometimes all it takes is one successful intercourse and the pressure is off altogether without need for more, and to know there's always first aid available in the drawer takes the pressure off even more).

You can either use drugs to effectively overcome a problem or you can start abusing them. You should certainly try to overcome a problem naturally, but if you struggle it for years, like this guy, then perhaps it is good reason to seek alternative treatments. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

Hey PumpSon!

I would like to share a few things with you if I may...

1. Famous sex researcher, Alfred Kinsey, noted that more than 75 percent of men in his studies reported ejaculating within two minutes after entering their partner. He did not consider this an issue.

2. Today, involuntary ejaculation is the number one sex issue for men in their teens and twenties as this is usually when they begin engaging in partnered sex. Not surprising since it is a new experience with new pleasurable sensations. Eventually, however, as these men gain sexual experience, stop building their sexual knowledge on a foundation of myth, misinformation and mixed messages and stop worrying about sexual performance, voluntary ejaculatory control increases.

3. Ejaculatory control is a skill and like all skills, it must learned and then practiced. Many of the suggestions offered in the Prem-E forum can certainly assist with that. And contrary to what some "sexperts" may say and with very, very few exceptions, involuntary ejaculatory control is absolutely curable.

So you are not doomed, you simply have some skills to learn.

EDIT: Please take a look at the following post as it will also give you some insight about the importance of breathing properly during intercourse...

https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...tml#post912250

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

It is completely misleading to say ED/PE drugs do more harm physiologically than good. I don't think there's any evidence to that. They are in fact considered very safe.

I am not saying drugs are the way to go, nor that they are bad, I do believe educating people on all possibilities is the proper way to deal sex issues. Not just being narrow minded on these topics.

This problem can of course be overcome by natural means but as you say it requires lots of patience on the guy, what you don't say is that it also equally takes that from the partner. If you have been lucky enough to have found a girl that is willing to go through with this for possibility weeks, months or even much more ( and some men struggle with this their entire life) then good for you.

The truth is that sex problems can be a big strain on the relationship and can also take away the possibility for casual relationships altogether. Drugs exists, safe ones, that can potentially let you overcome the problem overnight (yes, sometimes all it takes is one successful intercourse and the pressure is off altogether without need for more, and to know there's always first aid available in the drawer takes the pressure off even more).

You can either use drugs to effectively overcome a problem or you can start abusing them. You should certainly try to overcome a problem naturally, but if you struggle it for years, like this guy, then perhaps it is good reason to seek alternative treatments. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Hmmmm? Would anyone say here that Viagra, a DRUG, is a bad thing for us guys that have ED? No??? It's been a God send for my marriage, I mite have lost her without it. So if someone can fix PE with a drug, why not? My wife went without an orgasm for years with my PE problem. If I could have found a way then to fix my PE problem I wouldn't feel so guilty right now. That being said I know there are better ways to go about getting better, PE wise. But thirty years ago I was fishing in the dark and I feel my gal found satisfaction in the arms of another but came home to me. And today I'm ok with that. My fault, not hers

[jockinthebox Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2015PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close jockinthebox]

Hmmmm? Would anyone say here that Viagra, a DRUG, is a bad thing for us guys that have ED? No??? It's been a God send for my marriage, I mite have lost her without it. So if someone can fix PE with a drug, why not? My wife went without an orgasm for years with my PE problem. If I could have found a way then to fix my PE problem I wouldn't feel so guilty right now. That being said I know there are better ways to go about getting better, PE wise. But thirty years ago I was fishing in the dark and I feel my gal found satisfaction in the arms of another but came home to me. And today I'm ok with that. My fault, not hers

While I do believe for some guys (physiologically), drugs can be a successful resolution; but the vast majority of scrips for this (IMO) are written unnecessarily or even recreationaly for guys (as a crutch) to avoid addressing their sexual hangups and/or laziness (ie.seeking immediate gratification). That's not healthy, nor is it a solution. BIG PHARMA will always supply a crutch for them...but at what price? Their health?

[ScootyPuffSr Member Find all posts View Profile Close ScootyPuffSr]

I kind of had the same issue with the PE. What really helped me with lasting longer was my fleshlight STU. I even notice the difference myself; at first I felt like ejaculating after 2 pumps. Now in addition to breathing technique and the start and stop technique I have significantly increased my stamina and confidence in my sexual performance.

At first I started the start/stop with my hand, but noticed I started suffering from death grip, so after some research I ended up buying the STU. It might be the best investment thus far.

Dont worry friend, your in good hands just scour these forums and youll definitely find an answer that works for you.

[PumpSon! Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close PumpSon!]

Thanks for all the responses. U have to understand I am 21, suffering this since 17. All my friends go out partying meeting women and they wonder why I don't, even my parents wonder why I don't have a partner - I'm good looking and confident but then don't see inside I'm ruined.

you all say it can be conquered, but for 3 years my life has pretty much been practising to last longer, I have spent so much money I cannot afford to lose on supplements, fleshlight, penis rings, etc. These are not cheap and I am poor.

It is not logical to me to spend 10 years of my life battli this. It is a waste of a life, I can't live like other people and do what normal people do my age because of this. Say I could cure it in 10 years naturally or go on medication now and live normally, even if that medication takes 5 years off my life - at least I will actually enjoy the time I have as opposed to spending it anxiety ridden and 'exercising" my dick. What a waste of a life.

[popol5169 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close popol5169]

Have you started a PE log yet?
Talking to your family could help .