Sex life over before it really began. Depressed

**PumpSon!** · 03-31-2015

I'm 21

had my first gf at 17 and we began having sex and I noticed no matter how often we did it, I could only last 10 seconds or less sometimes

aniety began

lost all confidence, OCD took hold of anxieties and they snowballed, couldn't get an erection and when I did I barely lasted a few pumps

was 19 at this point

have tried doing stuff with other women since, always ended the same, either anxiety kicked in and couldn't get it up or prem ejaced

now 21, have had lots of opportunities, pass them up, too anxious about my inevitable performance (or lack thereof) and no sexual confidence

as soon as I get close to a woman to the point of getting sexual I push them away

lonelier than ever

21 - 'prime of my life'. I'm depressed. I'll never have a girlfriend (I'm a fun, social decent looking guy in every other aspect). Will never have a normal sex life. I'm in my prime of fertility and can't even uphold my own biological purpose.

Is there medication I can take for Prem ejac? I'm already on anxiety meds and anti depressants but it doesn't really help. Am I destined to be lonely? All my problems feed into each other and I think the problem is beyond help.

Also, when I was 17 it wasn't such a big deal, but now I'm 21 everyone EXPECTS sex. It's abnormal if you don't/can't. I'm doomed

**Party** · 03-31-2015

Not the answer to your problem but Promoscent spray. Short term relief, I assume you are using condoms? I would use two at a time, you are not alone with this issue at your age. Actually nice that you are thinking about the gals pleasure. I just shot my wad and went back to the bar. Idiot me!

**zezeze** · 03-31-2015

Yes, there is at least one very effective medication for this issue that has helped many men overcoming it completely over time. I am sure people here will advice against it and suggest some natural techniques, but at times meds are the best way to go, especially since the problem hasnt resolved itself 4 years and has made you so depressed. Even if you decide "drugs" are the last resort, knowing that there is help is good to know. I suggest contacting ED specialist in private sector to decide the best med since you are already on other drugs.

**CUSP82** · 03-31-2015

Well being depressed will surely help you get a girl won't it? Well maybe you should think about getting your head on straight and you'll do fine. Your brain is making things far worse than it really should be.

**popol5169** · 03-31-2015

We have a premature ejaculation subforum you need to look into. Start reading the links provided in the stickied thread. Start moving forward to try and solve your problem instead of soaking yourself into it (I've done that and it doesn't help).

**elijohnson** · 03-31-2015

Originally Posted by Party

I assume you are using condoms? I would use two at a time

Don't do that. The friction between layers makes them break.

**jockinthebox** · 03-31-2015

If you are a healthy 21 yo male, drugs are not the answer. They are likely to do more harm than good physiologically long-term (IMO). If you are truly committed to overcoming your pre-E, you can. It takes work and lots of practice, but some will always seek drugs to "solve" their problems. Truth is, unless you have a biological or physiological reason (injury, PORN addiction you're unwilling to give up), then building on the principals we encourage here at the gym will work for the vast majority of healthy guys with pre-E. But, it takes commitment and lots of diligence...something lacking in some individuals. What we offer is free, advice, open-minded discussion and encouragement to help you along the way. You decide if you're up to making the effort, we can't do that for you.

**closed224** · 03-31-2015

I agree with zezeze on one point. If you are going to seek medication you should seek professional help. Dont wing it on the internet. I however think you should read and practice the premature ejaculation advice on our forums. By doing this you can gain confidence by hello g yourself and that will help with more than just your penis. Good luck brother you can do this.

**zezeze** · 03-31-2015

Originally Posted by jockinthebox

If you are a healthy 21 yo male, drugs are not the answer. They are likely to do more harm than good physiologically long-term (IMO). If you are truly committed to overcoming your pre-E, you can. It takes work and lots of practice, but some will always seek drugs to "solve" their problems. Truth is, unless you have a biological or physiological reason (injury, PORN addiction you're unwilling to give up), then building on the principals we encourage here at the gym will work for the vast majority of healthy guys with pre-E. But, it takes commitment and lots of diligence...something lacking in some individuals. What we offer is free, advice, open-minded discussion and encouragement to help you along the way. You decide if you're up to making the effort, we can't do that for you.

It is completely misleading to say ED/PE drugs do more harm physiologically than good. I don't think there's any evidence to that. They are in fact considered very safe.

I am not saying drugs are the way to go, nor that they are bad, I do believe educating people on all possibilities is the proper way to deal sex issues. Not just being narrow minded on these topics.

This problem can of course be overcome by natural means but as you say it requires lots of patience on the guy, what you don't say is that it also equally takes that from the partner. If you have been lucky enough to have found a girl that is willing to go through with this for possibility weeks, months or even much more ( and some men struggle with this their entire life) then good for you.

The truth is that sex problems can be a big strain on the relationship and can also take away the possibility for casual relationships altogether. Drugs exists, safe ones, that can potentially let you overcome the problem overnight (yes, sometimes all it takes is one successful intercourse and the pressure is off altogether without need for more, and to know there's always first aid available in the drawer takes the pressure off even more).

You can either use drugs to effectively overcome a problem or you can start abusing them. You should certainly try to overcome a problem naturally, but if you struggle it for years, like this guy, then perhaps it is good reason to seek alternative treatments. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.

**TPW** · 03-31-2015

Hey PumpSon!

I would like to share a few things with you if I may...

1. Famous sex researcher, Alfred Kinsey, noted that more than 75 percent of men in his studies reported ejaculating within two minutes after entering their partner. He did not consider this an issue.

2. Today, involuntary ejaculation is the number one sex issue for men in their teens and twenties as this is usually when they begin engaging in partnered sex. Not surprising since it is a new experience with new pleasurable sensations. Eventually, however, as these men gain sexual experience, stop building their sexual knowledge on a foundation of myth, misinformation and mixed messages and stop worrying about sexual performance, voluntary ejaculatory control increases.

3. Ejaculatory control is a skill and like all skills, it must learned and then practiced. Many of the suggestions offered in the Prem-E forum can certainly assist with that. And contrary to what some "sexperts" may say and with very, very few exceptions, involuntary ejaculatory control is absolutely curable.

So you are not doomed, you simply have some skills to learn.

EDIT: Please take a look at the following post as it will also give you some insight about the importance of breathing properly during intercourse...

https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...tml#post912250