NoFap Killed My Libido

[TemporalLobe]

I did a NoFap challenge on reddit and was clean (PMO-free) for 9 months. For a while things were going well - ED was better and sex life increased, so much so that the wife got pregnant.

I'm still porn-free but I fapped once about 2 weeks ago because my libido was so low, like never before in my life. Nothing turns me on, at all. My wife is hot and has big boobs, nice ass, and I love her. Last time we tried to have sex was a hilarious mess.

And now I'm a hilarious mess. My ED is back pretty much worse than it ever was, and my libido has tanked. I don't want to blame NoFap, but I'm making this connection. At least when I jerked off and watched porn, I was fairly sexual. Some days (like today) I just want to go back to my old days in order to feel "normal".

I also have pretty bad anxiety and deal with depression, but I think I'm depressed because of the low libido and ED, which causes more depression, and more ED, and performance anxiety. I am seriously at my wit's end.

I have tried some supplements and they don't seem to do shit: Damiana, Maca, Ginko, L-Arginine+Pycnogenol, Vitamins (all the letters in the alphabet). They seem to be either all snake oil or placebos.

I used to be a pretty active member on pegym but I lost/forgot my account info...anyway I've always gotten solid advice from you guys in the past, any words of hope would really help out now. This is consuming my life and I am truly desperate for answers. Thanks for letting me share...

[closed224]

What happened between good EQ and wife getting pregnant to nothing turns me on and I have ED? Only the one masturbation experience?

[TemporalLobe]

What happened between good EQ and wife getting pregnant to nothing turns me on and I have ED? Only the one masturbation experience?

Nothing, absolutely nothing. EQ was good, but I think performance anxiety crept back in. I have read so much conflicting "research" on the topic. Some say that lack of sex/fapping kills libido, or that pregnant women release prolactin and estrogen, reducing libido. Or that anxiety kills libido. Or that any number of obscure factors kills libido. Who knows, maybe if I put on the wrong shoes it will kill my libido. FML.

EDIT: You got me thinking...and now I know. I had gotten a second job. My stress levels went through the roof and I often spent nights working and would often get physically sick because of it. SO...maybe stress? I just stopped this job a couple of weeks ago.

[CUSP82]

Nope you're right; anxiety and depression have nothing to do with it but I would re think that.

[jockinthebox]

Welcome back, temporalLobe! I think we need a few answers (more detail) on your circumstances before everyone here can help.

1) are you on any prescription drugs to treat depression? Some, like Levitra, can cause serious EQ difficulties.
2) Have you practiced any exercises like K/RK, deep flat-footed squats, or meditative breathing exercises to address your performance anxiety?
4) How's your diet? Eating right? Lots of Omega 3's, fresh organic veggies, etc.?
5) Is this your first child/pregnancy? Scares the hell outta some guys! Also affects libido, having sex with pregnant wife, hurting fetus, all kinda of mental fatigue can come into play here.

6) Been to the doc lately yourself? Low T? or other physiological problems been ruled out?
7) Any other life events (job change, issues at work, family health issues, deaths of friends/family members, etc.) lately?

Just some things to think about, you may even come up with others. Lots of things can affect libido and it sounds like you have some of these, maybe several. I can say you've made the right choice in giving up PORN, and edging is better for you than fapping, so try subbing that out. We're a group that tries to help each other here at the gym. You already know that, but the more background we have to work with, the better we are able to help.

[closed224]

I think you pegged it in your edit. Stress and anxiety are huge ED factors. I would not worry about your wife's pregnancy. I suggest you Dont worry at all. Try meditating and relaxing. You can still enjoy sex with your wife during pregnancy so enjoy each other and relax.

[TemporalLobe]

Hey jockinthebox - thanks for the response! Here are some answers...

1) are you on any prescription drugs to treat depression? Some, like Levitra, can cause serious EQ difficulties.

I had recently tried Wellbutrin, but this gave me serious anxiety. This is supposed in INCREASE your libido, but I had DE (delayed ejaculation) issues with it, and I think it actually ended up causing more sexual dysfunction with it. I am also on klonopin as needed (I very rarely take it). In fact, when I take take klonopin + Cialis, sex usually works because I can relax.

2) Have you practiced any exercises like K/RK, deep flat-footed squats, or meditative breathing exercises to address your performance anxiety?

When I was on pegym before, I did some of the stretching stuff, and some kegels (but not reverse). Have not done the other stuff you mentioned.


4) How's your diet? Eating right? Lots of Omega 3's, fresh organic veggies, etc.?

Diet is not the best. I have been under lots of stress over the past 6 months and tend to eat like shit.

5) Is this your first child/pregnancy? Scares the hell outta some guys! Also affects libido, having sex with pregnant wife, hurting fetus, all kinda of mental fatigue can come into play here.

This our third, so lots of experience. I have no fear of hurting the fetus, etc. TBH, I think I am sort of finding her less attractive bc of her body changes, but I didn't think it would make that much difference.


6) Been to the doc lately yourself? Low T? or other physiological problems been ruled out?

Haven't had a checkup in almost a year. I don't think I have a physiological issue bc I have frequent morning- and night-wood, even wet dreams, plus I have no problems with masturbation or edging, etc. But I will definitely discuss w/ my doc at next checkup.


7) Any other life events (job change, issues at work, family health issues, deaths of friends/family members, etc.) lately?

I had a very stressful and time-consuming second job for the last 6 months, then got let go. It was sort of a ego killer for me, but I'm happier now bc I don't have that stress any more!


Just some things to think about, you may even come up with others. Lots of things can affect libido and it sounds like you have some of these, maybe several. I can say you've made the right choice in giving up PORN, and edging is better for you than fapping, so try subbing that out. We're a group that tries to help each other here at the gym. You already know that, but the more background we have to work with, the better we are able to help.

I hear you, but edging makes me feel like shit. I get all ancy and nervous afterwords, so honestly I'd rather not edge or fap at all.