can someone please help me

[mikekaky Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mikekaky]

I don't think I have full on ED, but I have erection issues.

I am a 21 year olf virgin. I was in a fire as a child and I am permanently burned over most of my body (no, I'm not like the guy from batman- think normal 2nd-3rd degree burn scars)

Now, I've been with 1 girl, but she was overweight, unattractive, and had a horrid personality. I could get it up for a bj, but when it came to sex, I could not preform. I got nervous, and would get a semi before I was ready to penetrate (or, in most cases, the condom would kill the boner)

In the few times we tried, I was also prematurely ejaculating (because, you know, I'm a 21 year old virgin..) she would suck it or whatever after i got the rubber on to get it hard for sex and i'd blow.

I am talking to this girl and she straight up jut said "I want to have sex." and the anxiety from my former bad experiences will surely ruin this one in the same way.
i am a weak person due to my injuries. I lost a lot of muscle tissue too so it is hard to hold myself up, so my lack of stamina also makes me nervous (I wish a girl would just ride so I can lose my damn virginity)

Is there OTC drugs that will help with an erection? I don't want to go to a clinic, get referred to a urologist, and go through that, missing work, just to get some hardon pills for one girl. I don't think I need a 4-hour-erection drug, I just need a kick in the ass.. a suggestive drug.. anything like that OTC??


P.S: when I'm hard, the bottom of my shaft is not fully erect- little soft. i jack off fine but if i grip it hard, It'll bend when i bring my hand down my shaft- is this normal? (when i was a pre-teen i'd masturbate by rubbing it against my leg. it has lost pigment and stuff) I've seen an urologist and he said it was fine and gave me some samples, but a family member found them so I needed to play it off and throw them away. lol. Is this normal? is the bottom of your shaft as hard as the semicircle at the top?

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

Well many indicators. First have sex with someone you want to have sex with. Quit masturbating especially if you use porn.n. good luck also consider a kegle/ reverse kegel routine. It might strengthen the lower half.

[mikekaky Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mikekaky]

Well many indicators. First have sex with someone you want to have sex with. Quit masturbating especially if you use porn.n. good luck also consider a kegle/ reverse kegel routine. It might strengthen the lower half.

honestly, even if it is someone I want to have sex with, the anxiety, especially from the previous experiences, will prevent me from preforming right now. It is terrible.

[jockinthebox Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2015PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close jockinthebox]

First off, WELCOME to the GYM, mikekaky! I'm impressed with your forthright approach to improve your penis health and loose your v-card, in light of your childhood trauma. I salute your efforts and you've got the right attitude to attain your goals. Begin by READING ALL the beginner threads (START HERE, top left, blue bar), select a routine PESG might be good, since it's not as intense as JP90. Take correct measurements, take pics if you want for comparisons after you've experienced growth, start a journal in the progress forum and log in your routine regularly to stay motivated and get feedback from other members, and above all else, PE SAFELY!

Unfortunately, there are no OTC erection pills; however, there are natural supplements you can buy that many members report have increased stamina and libido from them. Those can be discussed later after you have started your routine and get more acclimated to PE. Most guys experience a testosterone boost and improved EQ when they begin, so see if you get that before buying supplements. Take your routine slowly at first, building up reps and intensity over the first month. PE is not a race and there is no competition among members to see how fast they can gain. Every guy is different and progresses at his own pace.

Wrt the softer base when erect as opposed to the upper part of your shaft; I'm not sure this isn't an EQ related thing that will work itself out once you get into a routine, or if you might have some residual ligament damage- perhaps from your burns as a child. Again, I'd see if that too works itself out once you build up your exercises over a few weeks.

Glad you joined us! Look forward to your posts!

[mikekaky Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mikekaky]

First off, WELCOME to the GYM, mikekaky! I'm impressed with your forthright approach to improve your penis health and loose your v-card, in light of your childhood trauma. I salute your efforts and you've got the right attitude to attain your goals. Begin by READING ALL the beginner threads (START HERE, top left, blue bar), select a routine PESG might be good, since it's not as intense as JP90. Take correct measurements, take pics if you want for comparisons after you've experienced growth, start a journal in the progress forum and log in your routine regularly to stay motivated and get feedback from other members, and above all else, PE SAFELY!

Unfortunately, there are no OTC erection pills; however, there are natural supplements you can buy that many members report have increased stamina and libido for them. Those can be discussed later after you have started your routine and get more acclimated to PE. Most guys experience a testosterone boost and improved EQ when they begin, so see if you get that before buying supplements. Take your routine slowly at first, building up reps and intensity over the first month. PE is not a race and there is no competition among members to see how fast they can gain. Every guy is different and progresses at his own pace.

Wrt the softer base when erect as opposed to the upper part of your shaft; I'm not sure this isn't an EQ related thing that will work itself out once you get into a routine, or if you might have some residual ligament damage- perhaps from your burns as a child. Again, I'd see if that too works itself out once you build up your exercises over a few weeks.

Glad you joined us! Look forward to your posts!

to elaborate- I did not mean the base. I meant the bottom (UNDERSIDE) part of my shaft. so I mean, the top of my shaft from the base to my head gets rock hard, then as the semicircle continues, instead of it being a perfect circle, it turns into a bit of a v (this might be because i masturbated by rubbing my penis against my legs growing up, or maybe its normal- I've never seen another penis in person) and the bottom part of my shaft, I feel is like a tube with blood, but it isn't rockl hard- it is fairly soft as a semi and only gets really hard when I am so erect that I'm about to cum.

[zezeze Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close zezeze]

You are talking about urethra, it is not supposed to fill with blood, thus does not get hard.

[lilbigman Senior Member Member of the Month June 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close lilbigman]

honestly, even if it is someone I want to have sex with, the anxiety, especially from the previous experiences, will prevent me from preforming right now. It is terrible.

This is your problem in a nutshell. You have already convinced yourself that you will fail. Will you have erection problems? Yes, you have already pre-determined that. However if you figure out a way to change your attitude and truly believe that you will have hard erections, you will have the hardest stiffest erection you have ever had in your life. Stop thinking you have issues and start thinking your penis works great! The mind is a very powerful tool. Did you know that there is a tribe of people that can raise boils on their skin by simply believing they can and concentrating? I learned that when I was a kid 15 or so and started experimenting. I have willed headaches away (and to this day I still don't get them unless from blunt force trauma of course) and I have successfully used an internal alarm clock. I wanted to test it and had heard that you can wake yourself up at a given time when asleep. I would repeat over and over as I was relaxed, eyes closed, ready to fall asleep, I will wake up at 6:30, I will wake up at 6:30. The first time I tried, I woke up at 6:28. And I have been doing it ever since. I never set an alarm clock all through highschool. I used my brain and was usually within a few min. of my desired time. Today I almost always wake a few min. before my alarm, and it doesn't matter what time I set it. I also on the negative side of things have made myself sick, raised heartbeat, had heart palpitations, and have actually stopped my heart from beating because of anxiety. I had never had anxiety all my life until about 8 years ago when my life was so stressful that I finally collapsed under the pressure. Had a panic attack and delt with anxiety for a few months until I finally convinced myself that it was all in my head. Since then I no longer have panic attacks and when I feel the anxiety coming on I tell myself "its just anxiety", and "it's going away now". Guess what? It never gets past the funny feeling in the stomach because it goes away as fast as it comes on. Same goes for eq and pre-e. If I would go in thinking OMG what if I can't get hard!? I'm going to struggle. Or, what if I cum to soon!? Guess what, I'm gonna blow in like 2 min. But if I go in thinking Im going to be hard as hell, and I'm gonna rock this girls world, guess what? An hour later we are both laying there in a sweaty sticky mess and she's just had the best sex of her life.

Point is, it's all in your head. You can let it negatively influence you or you can recognize the signs and start letting go of the negative thoughts and positively re-inforcing the desired ones. Try this. When your tired and ready for bed, lay down, close your eyes and repeat, "I get rock hard erections". Over and over in your mind until you fall asleep. Now don't just think it, believe it!

When it comes to sex, don't worry about that stuff. Go in with a positive mindset. Your a virgin so I would think just the thought of feeling what its like to sink your cock into a real vagina would be enough to stand him straight up at attention. I bet it does when your alone and think about it. So why should that be any different when there is one right in front of you that you can try. That cock should be rock hard and ready to feel the pleasures of a woman. Don't let your mind hold you back from anything in life. Use your mind instead to go out and get anything you want from life. Don't let the scars on both your body and in your mind stop you from experiencing all that life has to offer. My past and my scars have built me up over time. They did not make me weaker, they made me stronger. I used my mistakes and tragedies as a stepping stone, to learn and grow from. Your a young guy, and yes you have some rocks to climb and walls to break down, but you can do it if you want to. Now take out that mental sledgehammer and break down those barriers. Be who and what you want to be, not what you are afraid of being.

[lilbigman Senior Member Member of the Month June 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close lilbigman]

to elaborate- I did not mean the base. I meant the bottom (UNDERSIDE) part of my shaft. so I mean, the top of my shaft from the base to my head gets rock hard, then as the semicircle continues, instead of it being a perfect circle, it turns into a bit of a v (this might be because i masturbated by rubbing my penis against my legs growing up, or maybe its normal- I've never seen another penis in person) and the bottom part of my shaft, I feel is like a tube with blood, but it isn't rockl hard- it is fairly soft as a semi and only gets really hard when I am so erect that I'm about to cum.

This is completely normal. You are describing exactly how my penis is. The softer area on the underside of the penis is the Corpus Spongiosum. It is a spongy material so never really gets rock hard.

corpus spongiosum - Bing Images

[jockinthebox Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2015PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close jockinthebox]

to elaborate- I did not mean the base. I meant the bottom (UNDERSIDE) part of my shaft. so I mean, the top of my shaft from the base to my head gets rock hard, then as the semicircle continues, instead of it being a perfect circle, it turns into a bit of a v (this might be because i masturbated by rubbing my penis against my legs growing up, or maybe its normal- I've never seen another penis in person) and the bottom part of my shaft, I feel is like a tube with blood, but it isn't rockl hard- it is fairly soft as a semi and only gets really hard when I am so erect that I'm about to cum.

Oh, you are describing your CS. That's your Corpus Spungenosa a cylinder that will fill with blood during an erection as the ligs at the top of your base lift the penis upward. No, that doesn't get "rock-hard" usually and every guy has one. You will find both your CS and 2 CC's (Corpus Caverosa-running along the sides of the penis)
will likely become more defined as your penis gets more "athletic" or "in shape" from doing PE exercises. Relax. you're perfectly normal. If you like, there are many pics of guys posted here (NOT weird or pornographic) that show their PE progress and how their penis has growm and changed. Check out some of the erect pics of guys that show a well defined CS and even some CC's are detectable visually. Just click the PHOTOS TAB above on the blue bar. Always feel free to ask questions. We're all here helping each other.

[mikekaky Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mikekaky]

This is your problem in a nutshell. You have already convinced yourself that you will fail. Will you have erection problems? Yes, you have already pre-determined that. However if you figure out a way to change your attitude and truly believe that you will have hard erections, you will have the hardest stiffest erection you have ever had in your life. Stop thinking you have issues and start thinking your penis works great! The mind is a very powerful tool. Did you know that there is a tribe of people that can raise boils on their skin by simply believing they can and concentrating? I learned that when I was a kid 15 or so and started experimenting. I have willed headaches away (and to this day I still don't get them unless from blunt force trauma of course) and I have successfully used an internal alarm clock. I wanted to test it and had heard that you can wake yourself up at a given time when asleep. I would repeat over and over as I was relaxed, eyes closed, ready to fall asleep, I will wake up at 6:30, I will wake up at 6:30. The first time I tried, I woke up at 6:28. And I have been doing it ever since. I never set an alarm clock all through highschool. I used my brain and was usually within a few min. of my desired time. Today I almost always wake a few min. before my alarm, and it doesn't matter what time I set it. I also on the negative side of things have made myself sick, raised heartbeat, had heart palpitations, and have actually stopped my heart from beating because of anxiety. I had never had anxiety all my life until about 8 years ago when my life was so stressful that I finally collapsed under the pressure. Had a panic attack and delt with anxiety for a few months until I finally convinced myself that it was all in my head. Since then I no longer have panic attacks and when I feel the anxiety coming on I tell myself "its just anxiety", and "it's going away now". Guess what? It never gets past the funny feeling in the stomach because it goes away as fast as it comes on. Same goes for eq and pre-e. If I would go in thinking OMG what if I can't get hard!? I'm going to struggle. Or, what if I cum to soon!? Guess what, I'm gonna blow in like 2 min. But if I go in thinking Im going to be hard as hell, and I'm gonna rock this girls world, guess what? An hour later we are both laying there in a sweaty sticky mess and she's just had the best sex of her life. https://cdn.pegym.com/forums/images/smilies/wink.png

Point is, it's all in your head. You can let it negatively influence you or you can recognize the signs and start letting go of the negative thoughts and positively re-inforcing the desired ones. Try this. When your tired and ready for bed, lay down, close your eyes and repeat, "I get rock hard erections". Over and over in your mind until you fall asleep. Now don't just think it, believe it!

When it comes to sex, don't worry about that stuff. Go in with a positive mindset. Your a virgin so I would think just the thought of feeling what its like to sink your cock into a real vagina would be enough to stand him straight up at attention. I bet it does when your alone and think about it. So why should that be any different when there is one right in front of you that you can try. That cock should be rock hard and ready to feel the pleasures of a woman. Don't let your mind hold you back from anything in life. Use your mind instead to go out and get anything you want from life. Don't let the scars on both your body and in your mind stop you from experiencing all that life has to offer. My past and my scars have built me up over time. They did not make me weaker, they made me stronger. I used my mistakes and tragedies as a stepping stone, to learn and grow from. Your a young guy, and yes you have some rocks to climb and walls to break down, but you can do it if you want to. Now take out that mental sledgehammer and break down those barriers. Be who and what you want to be, not what you are afraid of being.

While this is useful advice, it is hard to follow. I used to be shy, and then i forced myself to talk to random girls, and then I was not shy.

It is easy to overcome social anxiety because you can walk over and power through it, but when you are fighting with an issue that has a PHYSAICAL response (premature ejaculation and flaccidity) it is harder. I can't will myself to stay hard and not cum after all I've had is negative experiences.

I need to get over that 'first hurdle' I think, which would be easiest with a gf who understandsall this and is willing to be patient and help, unfortunately, that is not in a cards.

I could also probably get a cialus sample from a clinic pretty easily, but I don't want to put it in my mind that I need drugs. In my head, I think if I can get over the first time, I'll be fine.. but.. I don't want that to turn into a dependence on drugs.

And you're right, if I'm alone, I can masturbate for an hour (if i really tried with occasional breaks), but assoon as I have that girl infront of me, I'm flacid or I cum in a minute.

[lilbigman Senior Member Member of the Month June 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close lilbigman]

I know it's not going to happen over night, but just keep trying to keep a positive mindset. Believe that there will be no issues, and there won't be. If you find yourself a good girl and let the relationship naturally progress, you will be just fine. If you start having issues, recognize it and tell yourself, "it's just my anxiety", "it will be fine". If you are with a good woman it won't matter anyway as she will understand and work through it with you. Good luck brother.

[mikekaky Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mikekaky]

went to a clinic next door and he referred me to an urologist. I was hoping I could just get a script. I don't want to go through all that fuss and embarrassment, but I'm tired of this crap.

Everyone else can preform, why can't I? I can wank fine..

[lilbigman Senior Member Member of the Month June 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close lilbigman]

The only script I think you may need is an anti-anxiety pill. I don't think you need help with the physical symptoms. If it works just fine when you masturbate then the issue lies within your mind. Don't try putting a band-aide on a bullet wound. It isn't going to solve the problem only delay the true healing.

Are you exercising at all? PE I mean? Some light jelqing and a good kegal routine will boost your eq and libido. Maybe try that instead of a pill.

[mikekaky Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mikekaky]

The only script I think you may need is an anti-anxiety pill. I don't think you need help with the physical symptoms. If it works just fine when you masturbate then the issue lies within your mind. Don't try putting a band-aide on a bullet wound. It isn't going to solve the problem only delay the true healing.

Are you exercising at all? PE I mean? Some light jelqing and a good kegal routine will boost your eq and libido. Maybe try that instead of a pill.

i tried some years ago but I have a lot of chafing from masturbating like 3x a day from ages 12 to like 16. i used to rub it against my legs with no lube, so the bottom of my penis lost all pigment and (apparently this is normal, but..) it isn't really a circle- it is more of a semi circle at the top, then it goes into a kind of V where my urethra is

when I was jelqing, I thought it got worse

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

You can shape the penis somewhat with pe that is the sort of work you do can be varied to give a desired shape.