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Living with incurable Erectile Dysfunction (delayed ejaculation)

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  • Living with incurable Erectile Dysfunction (delayed ejaculation)

    Hi All,

    I have severe delayed ejaculation to the extent that even masturbation is difficult. It usually takes me at least 30 minutes to orgasm/ejaculate during masturbation. To orgasm I usually have to thrash around, rub fast and hard, but the fantasy has to be perfect too, enough visual stimulation and mental fantasy is critical because my penis doesn't feel sexual pleasure from being massaged (I'd describe my sexually insensitive cock like my arm, my arm is sensitive to touch but of course I could rub/massage my arm all day long and I wont orgasm). I've tried everything to improve my condition, abstaining, using different techniques, meditation, had a testosterone test etc, but the problem remains.

    I have a high sex drive, think of girls and sex all the time, feel the urge to masturbate all the time (I usually masturbate every other day due to my long refractory period). But I have NEVER ejaculated in the presence of a girl, intercourse, oral, whatever, nothing gets me even close.

    There are lots of useful threads in this forum where delayed/retarded ejaculation is discussed, and I've read a lot of them. My question is not about how my problem can be fixed/improved because I don't believe it can (and other threads discuss this anyway), but how can a man live when he knows he's incapable of satisfying a women, incapable of a normal loving relationship. I've had many failed encounters with women. Even if I found a women who would accept me, how could I ever accept myself, I'd always feel like an inadequate loser. In my position what is there to live for?

    Thanks

    Edit : I guess the title is slightly wrong, but my point is living with a penis that doesn't work whatever the cause.
    closed198
    Junior Member
    Last edited by closed198; 09-28-2015, 06:50 AM.

  • #2
    If you define satisfying a girl as ejaculating, then I'm sorry for you, that is backwards thinking. You can totally satisfy a woman and never even use you swanson.

    The inevitable questions will come - How is your EQ? do you watch porn? have you tried edging? ballooning? GIve us some more to work with.

    And, welcome to the forums! Glad you stopped by.

    Comment


    • #3
      Thanks for the reply.

      I agree men with RE can still satisfy a girl, but many girls are very sensitive to the fact that the man hasn't been satisfied and finished. Can a man have much self esteem if he cant do things properly?

      (Just looked up meaning of EQ) Erection Quality is generally okay. I've done a lot of edging in the past, it hasnt made much difference. I've tried going long periods without using porn, I've tried abstaining completely for long periods (no edging), and overall it hasn't made much difference. Never heard of ballooning before just been looking at the instructions and trying it:

      1.Find and rub your “magic spot.” This is a sensitive area on your penis that gives you pleasure.
      2.Continually rub this spot in a circular motion, over and over until you are extremely erect.
      3...
      I have no magic spot, my penis is way too sexually insensitive (and this I believe is the cause of my RE). Theres no way by which I can touch/rub/stroke my penis which will automatically give me an erection or feel especially pleasurable. I only get erections from visual stimulation / fantasy. I ejaculate from quick rubbing/friction on the corona-of-the-glans, and a lot of visual stimulation / fantasy.

      Comment


      • #4
        How long is "long" when you have given up porn?
        The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!

        Comment


        • #5
          D.E is a side-effect of many medications; antihistamines and SSRI's are two of them...also benzodiazepines and alcohol can cause it as well.. ! Narcotics and pain relievers; opiates also cause this and are notorious for it.
          Though, on average, excessive use of porn is probably the more common ('typical' ) cause.

          Comment


          • #6
            Does intercourse and oral feel good to you? I can't even fathom not being able to ejaculate at all, but I suffer from Pre E

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by RalphPhoLauren View Post
              Does intercourse and oral feel good to you? I can't even fathom not being able to ejaculate at all, but I suffer from Pre E
              Yeah that would be terrible! Years ago I've experienced it - ironically P.E has put me right where I want to be so even though I might be fairly atypical or even a paradoxical pursuer it definitely goes to show that self-discipline is everything!!

              Comment


              • #8
                Was your penis ever sensitive?
                BPEL: 6.7-8.57" NBPEL: 6.3-8.25"
                MEG: 5.9-6.5" HeadEG: 5.4-6.25" BEG: 6.25-7"
                CI:1.5 -2.5
                Flaccid: 5"x4.75" -> 6.25"x5.375" for +63% volume
                275ml-435ml in 3 years, 6 months(active 2 years) for +58% volume
                6.7x5.9 - 8.57x6.5 or bigger than 9/10x49/50 - 2999/3000x1666/1667

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by CUSP82 View Post
                  How long is "long" when you have given up porn?
                  About 2 months. But I remember when I was much younger, late teens/early twenties, I didn't even have internet porn, and I had the same problem (I'm 36 now). This is a problem I've had my whole life.

                  Originally posted by corageon View Post
                  D.E is a side-effect of many medications; antihistamines and SSRI's are two of them...also benzodiazepines and alcohol can cause it as well.. ! Narcotics and pain relievers; opiates also cause this and are notorious for it.
                  Though, on average, excessive use of porn is probably the more common ('typical' ) cause.
                  I don't take any medication, and my health is generally good.

                  Originally posted by RalphPhoLauren View Post
                  Does intercourse and oral feel good to you? I can't even fathom not being able to ejaculate at all, but I suffer from Pre E
                  Oral feels slightly better than intercourse, but neither feel especially good. Basically I'm never gonna experience the joy of sex.
                  closed198
                  Junior Member
                  Last edited by closed198; 09-28-2015, 02:02 PM.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by GoingForGold View Post
                    Was your penis ever sensitive?
                    no

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by baiser View Post
                      Hi All,

                      I have severe delayed ejaculation to the extent that even masturbation is difficult. It usually takes me at least 30 minutes to orgasm/ejaculate during masturbation. To orgasm I usually have to thrash around, rub fast and hard, but the fantasy has to be perfect too, enough visual stimulation and mental fantasy is critical because my penis doesn't feel sexual pleasure from being massaged (I'd describe my sexually insensitive cock like my arm, my arm is sensitive to touch but of course I could rub/massage my arm all day long and I wont orgasm). I've tried everything to improve my condition, abstaining, using different techniques, meditation, had a testosterone test etc, but the problem remains.

                      I have a high sex drive, think of girls and sex all the time, feel the urge to masturbate all the time (I usually masturbate every other day due to my long refractory period). But I have NEVER ejaculated in the presence of a girl, intercourse, oral, whatever, nothing gets me even close.

                      There are lots of useful threads in this forum where delayed/retarded ejaculation is discussed, and I've read a lot of them. My question is not about how my problem can be fixed/improved because I don't believe it can (and other threads discuss this anyway), but how can a man live when he knows he's incapable of satisfying a women, incapable of a normal loving relationship. I've had many failed encounters with women. Even if I found a women who would accept me, how could I ever accept myself, I'd always feel like an inadequate loser. In my position what is there to live for?

                      Thanks

                      Edit : I guess the title is slightly wrong, but my point is living with a penis that doesn't work whatever the cause.
                      from the age of 14 to 19 i used to smoke a hell of alot of cannabis and i had the exact same problem with not being able to orgasm, i remember it took about 6 months after quitting weed for it to come back, i also abstained from porn for a long time. do you use any recreational drugs or any medication?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I think you would rather be into the drama of it all than get over it.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Pegasus View Post
                          I think you would rather be into the drama of it all than get over it.
                          No that's not fair. I've tried hard in the past, and would try hard again if I could see a glimmer of hope.

                          Comment

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