Anxiety / nerves causing erectile dysfunction

**MarkMullins** · 05-05-2016

Hi there,

Six months ago, I met and fell in love with my beautiful girlfriend, who I truly adore. Being a late starter in the world of relationships, I soon explained to her that I was a virgin. She was extremely understanding and was very supportive of me.

When we first attempted to have sex, I failed to achieve an erection, due to the nervousness of the moment for me. This persisted several more times, until I decided to see a doctor about it. He explained a technique whereby we would avoid sexual intercourse over several weeks, in order to remove any pressure that I may feel and to gain confidence in achieving erections with my girlfriend. I succeeded in achieving erections with her. But then when we eventually attempted to have sex again, I could not again achieve an erection in that moment.

Subsequently, I tried viagra several times. It resulted in erections, but which died when attempting to have sex. By this stage, the fear of failing to achieve an erection was getting stronger, which resulted in a vicious circle where that fear prevented me from achieving erections.

I decided to see a specialist again in March. This doctor prescribed cialis, which is very powerful and resulted in strong erections, especially when I would think about my girlfriend, or when we engaged in oral sex. However again, in the moment of attempting intercourse, it failed.

I am wondering if anybody else has experienced a similar problem and if so, can they recommend any means of defeating it, so that my girlfriend and I can have a happy, healthy and normal relationship?

Thanks in advance.

**Dangler** · 05-05-2016

Thanks for joining, and

there are a few sticky threads in this forum:
https://www.pegym.com/forums/challen...ty-depression/

Which you can read through and see if you can begin helping yourself.

**Big Al** · 05-06-2016

Welcome to the forum.

Your issue is much more common than you might think, and it's vital you understand that there's a definite psychological component at play. In most cases, one good sexual encounter can be enough to help you overcome your anxieties. If the issue persists you might want to look in that direction for treatment- since Cialis, etc. will only take care of the symptoms of the problem and not the cause.

This article might be of assistance to you: Dealing with ED/Impotence

**bigger54** · 05-06-2016

I have suffered from this since my wife passed away a few years ago. I have been able to finally overcome this thanks to PE and POSITIVE THINKING before the act. You have to convince yourself that you are gonna be able to perform and not worry about it. When you can get to that point you are good to go! Hope this helps.

**Hiplainsdrifter** · 05-10-2016

If this girl is patient enough, take a day off together and lie around in bed. Relax and enjoy each other ...I like to have her play with me and lube me up. I get rock hard ( without me regular dose of Viagra). Then go for it. Don't worry about your performance. Just worry about getting off inside this beautiful girl. After a few successes, you'll be good to go.

I assume your physically ok since you were checked out by the doc ?

**TheZZMan** · 05-10-2016

You are finding out how powerful the brain is in relation to performance. You need to forget the fails of the past and start with a clean slate. In your mind, simply thinking that you might not perform, will cause you not to perform. So you need to remain positive and stay in the moment. I've found that focused deep breathing during foreplay helps - listen for her breathing and time it to yours. If you start and things don't work, or you lose your erection, don't get mad, don't try harder - simply go back to foreplay and start over. Pay attention to what you were thinking at the time it stopped working and focus on not having those thoughts. Use visuals such as her body to focus your mind. Stare and concentrate on the beautiful thing that is in front of you. It will take some time, but I think it is great that you have a supportive partner. She can go a long way to helping you stay focused. Let her in on your training, it will speed the process up and she can have some fun along the way.

**Big Al** · 05-10-2016

Originally Posted by Hiplainsdrifter

If this girl is patient enough, take a day off together and lie around in bed. Relax and enjoy each other ...I like to have her play with me and lube me up. I get rock hard ( without me regular dose of Viagra). Then go for it. Don't worry about your performance. Just worry about getting off inside this beautiful girl. After a few successes, you'll be good to go.

I assume your physically ok since you were checked out by the doc ?

The above is good advice!