Anyone here ever had a full body massage?

[UglyBoy Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close UglyBoy]

Hey guys, it's my birthday today (finally 20, yay), and my flatmates surprised me with a full body massage appointment today. Never had one done to me before. Not sure what to expect, I'm just hoping it doesn't get awkward or anything. Any thoughts or advice?

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

We talking sports massage here...or something else?

[UglyBoy Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close UglyBoy]

We talking sports massage here...or something else?

It's at one of those day spa places. I don't think it's specifically a sports massage, just a relaxation massage I think. Although a sports massage is EXACTLY what I need right now. Hopefully I can ask them about it.

But yeah, what my mates paid for just had the description of a 'relaxing' (we'll see about that) full body massage.

[discreet Senior Member Member of the Month May 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close discreet]

Christ man, it's just a massage, whats wrong with you?

Sure here is a nugget; smoke a fatty before hand so you can relax.

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

What you worried about? Enjoy it!

Wanna swap...I'll take it off your hands!

You'll probably get a big hairy geezer giving you a massage...so no chance of getting a stiffy (depending on your preferences)!

[UglyBoy Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close UglyBoy]

What you worried about? Enjoy it!

Wanna swap...I'll take it off your hands!

You'll probably get a big hairy geezer giving you a massage...so no chance of getting a stiffy (depending on your preferences)!

Nah, lol, they picked the cutest looking girl there. Apparently they got to pick the masseuse like it was a catalogue, which I thought was a bit weird?

Besides, if I start getting the horn I'll just turn over and punch a hole through the table I guess.

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

Most masseurs cover your vital bits in a thick towel for obvious reasons. Think of Theresa May naked...that should kill any unwanted enthusiasm!

Mind you, I did have an "interesting" massage on holiday in the Dominican Republic once...less said about that the better!

[UglyBoy Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close UglyBoy]

Most masseurs cover your vital bits in a thick towel for obvious reasons. Think of Theresa May naked...that should kill any unwanted enthusiasm!

Mind you, I did have an "interesting" massage on holiday in the Dominican Republic once...less said about that the better!

Eww, Theresa May with clothes on will do just fine thank you very much.

Thick towel you say? Is it considered rude if I start doing towel raise kegels during the massage?

Also, I've always wondered, how much did your 'massage' in the Dominican Republic cost?

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

Long, long time ago...can't remember, but not much.

[LJMatey Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close LJMatey]

Have got a friend who was a masseuse (the spa kind, not the 'happy endings' kind) lol.

I recall her saying it happens all the time. They just put some more folded towels on top to 'preserve your modesty'

Also apparently, people can get sooooo reeeellllaaaxxxeedd, that they involuntary fart - just another job hazard I suppose.

Don't sweat it, they've seen it all before. Plus you get time afterwards to 'arrange yourself' without any embarrassment. Have fun

[cashbacter Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close cashbacter]

Nah, lol, they picked the cutest looking girl there. Apparently they got to pick the masseuse like it was a catalogue, which I thought was a bit weird?

Besides, if I start getting the horn I'll just turn over and punch a hole through the table I guess.

I've had a Bali Massage from an asian girl a few years ago.That was awesome.My advice is empty your testicles and take a shower before you leave the home.You'll see you'll be more relaxed after massage.

[Undead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Undead]

Try not to get a boner!

[UglyBoy Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close UglyBoy]

Okay, so I've been to the spa thing. It was alright I guess, but I was particularly proud of being able to maintain a semi throughout, never going fully erect. It took a lot of concentration and mental gymnastics, but I pulled through. Pretty sure I needed a sports massage instead though, although I'm not complaining since this was free.

[Jaw Breaker Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jaw Breaker]

I do ... at least once a month ... it's not a big deal. Of course, I usually take a few tokes before each session, so I'm not really focused on anything but melting into the massage table.

[jockinthebox Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2015PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close jockinthebox]

I like a deep-tissue massage followed by a full herbal body wrap. Gosh, it makes me feel like a bowl of Jello...balanced on top of a LONG POLE, of course!