I have problems with my own life please advice

[pleiades Member Find all posts View Profile Close pleiades]

Hi everyone, I feel so bad right now and I have no friends either so I'm here.
First of all, I'm a physics student and I'm bad at my courses, 3 years passed since I've started my first year as a freshmen and still I'm at 1st grade in my university. I' ve tried a lot of drugs and these things make my psychology way more bad, sometimes I want to kill myself because nothing impress me, I don't want anyting to do. And probably my biggest problem nowadays that I have never get laid, never had sex not even with a prostitude and I'm 24 years old right now. New student come to the university and I feel like I'm getting old, and probably I'm losing my interest on womans too. I mean 2 days ago I asked a girl to date but after asking I just wanted to leave that place I mean I said to myself what the hell I'm doing I don't even like her that much, anyway I ve rejected again. It might sound awkward but I'm also in a theatre clup. I take on stage nearly 20 times every year, I think I'm doing decent job in there, what makes me sad that I can stand on almost 1000 people easily but I couldn't talk with a girl without any anxiety or an overwhelmingly self-destruction habits.
Yes self-destruction: I give up on almost anyting so easily, sometimes I want to be with the crowd, with lots of people and after that I just want to leave that place and find a quiet place to read some books. I want to be a physicist but I got bored when I have to study for my exams. I loved a lot of woman in my life and I always talk with them about it, I said "I love you" but after saying that I just want to leave that place and I don't want to see that girl anymore. I ve tried a lot of drugs for the same reason, sometimes I just want to have fun but after that drugs starts to give me nightmares to. I have no idea what to do but all this ups and downs kills me it tortures me that I actually want nothing in this life at all. Seriously I'm trying so hard to move on in this life but it becomes a nightmare. I think I have a bipolar disorder but I'm not sure about it.

Anyway, it is a long post thanks for reading.

[pleiades Member Find all posts View Profile Close pleiades]

2 hours before I just talked with an hooker and we agree on almost everything but I said I dont want to do today.

[LJMatey Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close LJMatey]

Hey man. You've just created a downward spiral for yourself. It's easy to do and half the problem is realizing you're in it.

Sometimes all it takes is a few things to go wrong and the next thing you know, everything is rubbish and getting motivated to be enthusiastic is not worth the trouble. You know this, but the worst thing you can do right now is give up on your studies - I promise this feeling will pass but the regret of not completing your studies because you can't be bothered is going to stick with you a long time.

Make some goals (realistic ones) Even the longest journey starts with a single step, so start with something you know you can change. Drop the drugs first - although they might seem 'fun' they are clouding your judgement - just clean yourself up. I know it's easy to type but more to actually do it, so just let me tell you I've been there and done it.

You're 24 and at Uni - don't fall into the dropout student stereotype, it'll do you no favours and you will be throwing away all those previous years of study just because you hit a low point. Well, life is a rollercoaster, so what if you're at a low point? The rest of the ride is pretty exciting and thrilling, you bought a ticket for it, so you may as well enjoy the high points too!

You're not losing your interest in women, you're just demotivated to the point where you can't see the benefit. Like I said earlier, maker a plan, stick to it and get yourself cleaned up. It's a day-to-day promise you have to make with yourself but you'll notice the improvement. The worst thing you can do is shut yourself away. It's hard to meet people if you never socialize.

Not every relationship has to start with fireworks in the sky when you first meet. Just enjoy the company and see where things lead.

Basically - Get a plan to improve things and stick to it. Check off the things you have completed and add to it as you go along. Life isn't easy, so roll up your sleeves and don't let it beat you, amigo.

Best regards

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

This forum is not equipped to handle suicide-oriented discussions, and it is not appropriate that we do so. Please understand that we all want to be helpful.... but this sort of thing is best dealt with by professionals.


To any member in need: if you are having thoughts of suicide please call [US] 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or visit National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - With Help Comes Hope for immediate assistance.
Lifeline

A list of suicide prevention hotlines for each region and country.
International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) - Resources: Crisis Centers

[discreet Senior Member Member of the Month May 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close discreet]

Hi,

Man I am soo sorry.

TheZZMan gave you some good info.

However time passes and so shall your time of challenge. This is a challenge that you must decided to either over come or be over come with.

I'd suggest the first and rise up to it

I'm certain your school has on campus help, some one to talk to. Do it, talk to some one.

Many my age would love to be your age. So don't toss it, make something of it.

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

Definitely seek help. A counselor is the best direction right now. Get some help to have better tools to face your day. You are a wonderful person. You can find love in yourself and by extension love from others. Be safe my friend. Find some counseling.

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot Banned Find all posts View Profile Close Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

Don't worry about your situation. I graduated from University at 26. It's never too late. I was done with my MBA by 28. First of all you need to stop taking drugs. That's what's causing your indecision. Focus on having as much sex as you want instead of drugs. It's a much better outlet. During my stay in Bangkok (8 years) there was a brief period of time when I was into drugs (Marijuana, Cocaine, MDMA - Ecstasy, Ice - Crystal meth and Yaba - Meth) but then I realized that pussy is much better and got off drugs. Set goals so you can change your direction immediately to something much better.

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

Hey! I'll be your friend! You'll find lots of friends and support here!

Take the advice you've already been given and seek professional help and get off the drugs.

You may find that you're clinically depressed, which may be down to a chemical imbalance in your brain. There are certain personality types that are prone to depression and these can include perfectionists, overachievers, introverts, creatives and so on, some of the most talented people on the planet! Most of us would be more than happy to have these personality traits, so don't blame yourself!

[NOWHARD Banned Find all posts View Profile Close NOWHARD]

Hi Mate sounds like you have put hard times on yourself with drugs, drugs may be a escape but not doing you any good, as there blocking your true thoughts.

As you have read there is help out there, so go grab some before you go the wrong way with life.

But we are always here to help you through bad times, just come back to this thread and write what ever you feel, but please go find the help you so need, start with a doctor and get some tests done and do that ASAP

NOWHARD

[pleiades Member Find all posts View Profile Close pleiades]

It is awkward that I seek help in here instead of so called professionals which I've tried a lot of them before. But they didn't work for me either. They listen for a while and after that lots of anti depressants which kills my human side completely and make me a robot. Thats why I dont seek for professional help, but let me relax you and myself a bit I wont kill myself, I dont seek help for this. I am just looking for the people who passed the ways I do these days. I want to show some sides of me that I ve never showed to anyone because of my insecurities, and it is so nice that people I ve never seen or know before are woried about my life, I don't think anyone in my real life would spend a time for me. I dont have a family either they all passed from this world... sometimes I just want to be an actor because when you get bored from your cast you know that it wont last forever see you cant be hamlet or richard forever thats why I thought that this is the solution for me but if you want to be an actor you have to deal with lots of people which kills my senses. So acting doesnt work too physics doesnt work either because I cant be alone all the time and about drugs you are right, it gives lots of cognitive bias to deal with and ruins every small hapiness in life. I will quit taking them but about womans I have no idea about them, I always horified by them and the reason for this a woman could literally kill me I may be oversensitive about them but I cant talk with them when I have feelings on them. Maybe they can solve my problems with their loving hearts but it is hard to get that heart. It is the hardest thing for me. Even if I did a good conversation with trying to deal with my horrible anxiety about them, I just want to run, run away from them.
And again thank you very much for your replies it is more important than professionals for me because they come from kind hearts instead of money hungry brains. Thanks a lot.

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

You're obviously a very deep thinker that likes to analyse and find a meaning for everything. That's a good thing but can be destructive if you allow your inner thoughts to run away with you and take over your thought process.

Maybe you should consciously try not to think too much and give your brain a rest. Try to find something that will take your mind off of things and that relax you. Give yourself a break.

Hey! Maybe you could talk a load of rubbish on here like I do most of the time and have a bit of fun along the way!

[8.39 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close 8.39]

Sad to read all these.Bro you have to get rid of drugs,you have to understand drugs makes you more antisocial and unstable.You are 24!You have an entire life to live!Everything can change to better if you want!Your future its in your hands!I graduated as a car engineer at my 18,served to the army and then worked for 4 years till i realized i chosen the wrong job at the wrong country.I couldnt even imagine my life as it is now.From when i was 12 i ve been a boxer and that was my ticket to be a pro coach.Thats my example.I passed thru alot of difficult situations to my life and only one thing changed my life for ever.Christ bro thats my light.I hope to receive the help you need.Please dont do something stupid.Nowdays is more easier to find a girl cause of the social media.Its easier to text than talking for real.Take care bro.

[NOWHARD Banned Find all posts View Profile Close NOWHARD]

From reading your last piece, sounds very much like depression is your enemy and your real problem, and yes antidepressants is not the way out, what may do you the world of good is to get into meditation, if you google depression and meditation your see how the Mayo Clinic rates it as a very good toll for overcoming depression.

Your find lots of info on google for it and if your really interested in trying it as a way of help, so if you can find a local group around where you are now to get you started into the ways of meditation, you start your day with meditation and anytime during the day you feel like depression is gaining on you go and do some, as this is far better than drugs, and as your find out its all drug free, its like letting yourself become your drug. OK

NOWHARD

[pleiades Member Find all posts View Profile Close pleiades]

Thanks for all of your replies, it means a lot to me. Depression, obsession, swiftly changing moods, I can handle most of the time but sometimes it happens in a extreme way.
I think the most important thing that overwhelms me is that the problems with womans. I mean how could I overcome this feeling. All the things ease with time and if you are in a good mood, you can handle them but when you forget a woman its because of another woman and this repeats all the time, its so hard.

[6inDongNotForLong Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close 6inDongNotForLong]

Don't be afraid to seek therapy.

I'm in therapy 4 times a week with two different counselors.

It helps more than you think!!

We are all here for you though.