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I'm an Asshole, ask me anything. (parody)

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  • I'm an Asshole, ask me anything. (parody)

    I have been inspired by ZZMan's fantastic significant other ( whom I respect greatly).

    She is a woman, I .... am an Asshole.

    So, go ahead, ask me whatever inane ponderings are rattling around in your noggin.
    I will answer with appropriate sarcasm, derision, and condescension. That is if I deign to respond at all.

    DISCLAIMER: My response will probably include a personal insult, or tiptoe around an actual insult by way of a carefully worded insinuation. (Because, apparently you can say anything, if you add a diclaimer. Like... advocate the use of an industrial pump for "Extreme Pumping".)

    I will probably get bored early on, but who knows. Let's see where it all goes.
    How did I get here?

    Well I was looking for Pygmy.com (I gotta thing for small people, so what), and ended up here.
    And I've been here ever since.

  • #2
    Let's take the bull by the horns then, cross the big one off the list. Does penis size matter for sex?
    My Progress Log - The Pink Mile
    Start - 24/03/2017: 6.0 BPEL; 4.75 MEG; 4.88 BEG
    Current - 24/07/2017: 6.5 BPEL; 5.0 MEG; 5.13 BEG
    1st Goal: 8.0 BPEL; 6.0 MEG; 6.0 BEG

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by UglyBoy View Post
      Let's take the bull by the horns then, cross the big one off the list. Does penis size matter for sex?
      Glad you asked!


      Of course it does! If your dick is literally a tic tick you'll have problems. Similarly, if your penis has more in common with the pendulum of a grandfather clock than a normal human phallus, you too will have issues.

      The question isn't " does size matter?", it's "what sizes are appropriate for sex between non freakish humans?".
      How did I get here?

      Well I was looking for Pygmy.com (I gotta thing for small people, so what), and ended up here.
      And I've been here ever since.

      Comment


      • #4
        Okay..., does vagina size matter?

        Comment


        • #5
          You being an A$$ hole, when wiped do you prefer front to back or back to front?

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by SnapperLapper View Post
            Okay..., does vagina size matter?
            No.

            Of course not.

            Don't be ridiculous.

            Every woman is a special flower, a gift bestowed on men by gods and angels that have taken pitty on us.

            They are perfect in every way. And, any perceived flaw, is just a failing on your part.



            NEXT
            How did I get here?

            Well I was looking for Pygmy.com (I gotta thing for small people, so what), and ended up here.
            And I've been here ever since.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by TheZZWoman View Post
              You being an A$$ hole, when wiped do you prefer front to back or back to front?
              I wipe from the center- out in a clockwise swirl, as does any reasonable man.

              Of course I have the adding benefit of not having to prevent uti's and vaginal infections.
              How did I get here?

              Well I was looking for Pygmy.com (I gotta thing for small people, so what), and ended up here.
              And I've been here ever since.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Ravenously View Post
                I wipe from the center- out in a clockwise swirl, as does any reasonable man.

                Of course I have the adding benefit of not having to prevent uti's and vaginal infections.
                TMI ALERT!!!!!!!!!!^^^...Just sayin...

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Ravenously View Post
                  I wipe from the center- out in a clockwise swirl, as does any reasonable man.

                  Of course I have the adding benefit of not having to prevent uti's and vaginal infections.
                  Ever tried the Captain Morgan wipe? Or the Dachsund's Nose?

                  Those work pretty well.
                  My Progress Log - The Pink Mile
                  Start - 24/03/2017: 6.0 BPEL; 4.75 MEG; 4.88 BEG
                  Current - 24/07/2017: 6.5 BPEL; 5.0 MEG; 5.13 BEG
                  1st Goal: 8.0 BPEL; 6.0 MEG; 6.0 BEG

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Ravenously View Post
                    No.

                    Of course not.

                    Don't be ridiculous.

                    Every woman is a special flower, a gift bestowed on men by gods and angels that have taken pitty on us.

                    They are perfect in every way. And, any perceived flaw, is just a failing on your part.



                    NEXT
                    The only time it really matters is when size is on the extreme ends. A vagina that is too large might feel like throw a wiener down a hallway (not enough friction), whereas one that is too small entry is a major ordeal, and it can actually hurt the penis a little, even with lots of lube.

                    Sound familiar?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      For love of all things mundane and ordinary, I don't care how you wipe, I don't want to "swap techniques". Just do yourself and everyone around you a favor, keep yourself clean in the manner of your choosing, and keep it to yourself.
                      How did I get here?

                      Well I was looking for Pygmy.com (I gotta thing for small people, so what), and ended up here.
                      And I've been here ever since.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Will Viagra or Cialis work on women?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Are you buying this "String Theory " crap? I mean really, matter resonates like a rubber band. It's a theory to explain observations, not observations creating a theory. It mathematical mumbojumbo.
                          A prayer, is kinda the same as a "Like". If there are enough likes, God will take notice. So "Like" away please. My daughter needs your prayers. Thank You.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Mah Dawg! Heres looking at you!

                            https://youtu.be/UrgpZ0fUixs
                            I came here for the EQ, but I stayed for PE

                            Dick Stats
                            Aug 2016 BPFL 5.5" BPEL 6.5" EG:5.125" EQ:6/10
                            Jun 2017 BPFL 6.5" BPEL 7.25" EG:5.50 EQ 6.5/10
                            OCT 2018 BPFL BPEL 7.75" EG:5.50 EQ 7/10

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              String theory does not qualify as a theory. It makes no testable predictions.


                              Besides, everyone knows that this universe is a molecule of dog shit on the sidewalk, in another universe that is magnitudes of order larger than this one. And, that universe is naval lint from the great belly of Gan the Gargantuan.
                              How did I get here?

                              Well I was looking for Pygmy.com (I gotta thing for small people, so what), and ended up here.
                              And I've been here ever since.

                              Comment

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