Age and touchless boners

[LeafyGreens Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close LeafyGreens]

Wasn't sure on the right forum to put this.. seemed like the best location, though.

I'm 38 with a history of big-time porn abuse. I never got into any super kinky stuff; my tastes were pretty vanilla. But the frequency and duration was a big problem. Sometimes 3-4x a day, for a total of hours per day especially in the later half of my first marriage when sex had become very infrequent.

This combined with some performance anxiety and fatigue led to some erectile problems that I am still working through but generally I can have sex fine now if it's not more frequent than once per day and I'm not hyper stressed. With Ciallis, 4-5x per day is possible if my wife and I have the time and opportunity.

But here's the thing... it is borderline impossible for me to get hard from just visuals or imagination. Doesn't always have to be direct touch to the penis, although that is by far the most reliable. Kissing or being extremely close to her body enough that I can feel the energy between us is enough sometimes, but it's unreliable. The only time I can get hard just from anticipation is first thing in the morning before my mind is fully awake. This, combined with pretty low T last time I had it checked (~325 total) leads me to believe that possibly hormones are a major factor here. And probably still some stress/anxiety too.

I want to get hard just from seeing her naked. And I want spontaneous erections during the day.

Is this possible at my age? I can't get a straight answer. Are there any men here my age or older who can get hard just from looking? Am I chasing an impossible dream here?

[edit]I don't remember what it was like for me in my late teens or early 20's. I'm not sure when my spontaneous erections stopped. When I was younger, I never paid much attention to what my penis was doing, because it just got hard without me monitoring its behavior. But I think it's pretty likely that I could get hard in my late teens and early 20's just from looking.

[incogneeetoe Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2017*Special Appreciated Moderator Nov. 2021* PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close incogneeetoe]

I can. I am quickly approaching 50, but still get hard just by looking at my wife. If she is trying on new clothes, or just being sexy I will get hard. Often she only has to ask "Do you want to..." and I am up and ready.

I do not get random erections very much anymore, but anytime I am to perform, I do not need physical stimulation to get hard.

I attribute this to edging, exercise and healthy diet.
My porn consumption is pretty minimal. I subscribe to a few NSFW subreddits, but do not have time to keep up with them on a daily basis.

[LeafyGreens Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close LeafyGreens]

Cool, i want this ^

At least now i know it is humanly possible. I've been pretty inconsistent with the exercise and healthy diet.

[incogneeetoe Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2017*Special Appreciated Moderator Nov. 2021* PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close incogneeetoe]

Food for thought: the more erections you get, then the more erections you will get.

I read that on a medical advice site way back, and took it to heart. The idea is sound: if you don't use it, you will loose it. This is what happens to a lot of men as they age. They frequency of sex goes down, so the number of erections goes down. As time passes, the ability to get erections diminishes. And of course it is a self perpetuating cycle: you try to have sex, but cannot get it up, so the next time you avoid the sexual situation out of fear of getting it up, etc, etc.

BUT if you keep on getting erections, then getting erections is easier. I started about 4 years back getting daily erections. I would just get an erection in the shower. Not ejaculate, just get hard. To just keep in shape. Then I found PEGym and learned that I had been "edging" of sorts.

I still do it. I try to get at least one erection everyday, 6 days a week.

After doing this for 4 years, and doing other PE related exercise, I get hard at the drop of a hat. Just last night I walked into the bedroom for a second during a commercial and the wife asked if I wanted sex. I started to get hard. She saw the bulge and just undressed (not one for foreplay, my wife).

And my EQ is off the rails. Really. I used to think I was hard. Now I realize how hard a healthy erection can get. Last night we started with a massage. I rubbed my wife's back with my erection resting along her butt crack. Soon enough she was pushing up against it and trying to put it in her. Once in, she is humping me. This is my wife of 13 years. I'm upright on my knees behind her and she is pushing up and back in doggy, humping me. Going on and on about how hard it is.

A healthy erection is a beautiful thing.

Oh, and I won't swear by it, but I also think the 5 G tea helps.

[SuperDD Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SuperDD]

I'll be 52 Thursday and I am a walking hard on.
Doesn't matter. Looking at my gf or a Victoria secret post or & boing there it is.

Morning wood sometimes feels like its gonna shoot off me.

My grandpa said older the bull stiffer the horn LOL

[LeafyGreens Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close LeafyGreens]

Thanks for the feedback, guys. I want to be a walking hard-on lol.

Right now I've started all the common recommendations for increase your T: more sleep, lifting weights, eating clean w/ plenty of carbs and fat, switching to natural household products and soap, avoiding porn, and a few supplements.

Fingers crossed that in 6 months I'll return here with a success story.

P.S. I've already been edging for years (without realizing it) to porn, and my dick when fully hard is literally hard as bone on the top of it, and I also had some quick gains a year ago when I started JP90 of about 1/4" in length and 1/8" in girth. So I think I'm maxed out on EQ.

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

I'm long past the days of spontaneous boners. I need now manual stimulation to get anything going. Fortunately, my wife gets turned on by getting me hard so it is a win win situation.

Look, we all age, things change, we can't get caught up in the things that change, we need to move on to the things that now work, and not what used to work. As you know, Porn doesn't help when you are transitioning, so move toward a porn free life. If edging, for training, don't ejaculate for a couple of days prior to a known encounter with the wife and you will be surprised the difference in your performance.

Most of all, know that your sex life has not died at 38. I'm 56 and the last two years have been increadible with my wife and I love her more today than I did when I married her. We are a perfect fit, and adjust when one is having a tough day sexually and we move on to tomorrow. Nothing eats us inside if we can't perform, we just understand and carry on with our day. Its all about attitude.

[SuperDD Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SuperDD]

Thanks for the feedback, guys. I want to be a walking hard-on lol.

Right now I've started all the common recommendations for increase your T: more sleep, lifting weights, eating clean w/ plenty of carbs and fat, switching to natural household products and soap, avoiding porn, and a few supplements.

Fingers crossed that in 6 months I'll return here with a success story.

P.S. I've already been edging for years (without realizing it) to porn, and my dick when fully hard is literally hard as bone on the top of it, and I also had some quick gains a year ago when I started JP90 of about 1/4" in length and 1/8" in girth. So I think I'm maxed out on EQ.

Don't over think it. That's the only periods were I have had trouble with erections.