Is Sex a Test?

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

So I started wondering if sex is test? Does it reflect who we are? Like degrees or work.

Like all tests in life, everything is graded.

I guess I'm asking do you grade your lovers mentally?

[jockinthebox Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2015PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close jockinthebox]

Yeah, I think everyone does, both males & females. While most younger guys think ANY SEX is GOOD SEX; with maturity and experience, guys learn to become more discriminating wrt the art & quality of "good sex" as opposed to the "slam, bam, "thank-you, mam" experiences of their youth.

I'd think because females require even more stimulation (both physically & emotionally) than younger males to reach orgasm, they likely are even more inclined to "grade" their partners at an earlier age than males do (sexually).

Whether consciously or subconsciously, "grading" is a human attribute that applies universally to practical living. It's the way we are raised (if we're emotionally maturing), so it becomes "necessary" to "improve" ourselves, IMO. Otherwise, the old adage of "Anything worth doing is worth doing WELL" (that was drilled into me by my father as a boy) wouldn't still be a guiding principle of practically everything I've done in my life, so far! LOL!

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

Interesting question Tara. Since I’ve only had one lover, and she claims the same I guess I’d have to grade the two of us. But, there’s the rub, I’ll be grading us when we were young as we are today, more experienced, used to what both of us like. So, how would She grade me? Using the “What she said about....” thread, i must not be very good, then or now. She only occasionally says it was good, or nice. But on Orgasm scale, including frequency, multi O or intensity, i was a D then but an A++ now.
How would I grade her? She about the same C- she’s always been, it’s all about her. No anal, lousy BJs, never to orgasm, while I’ll go down on her for an hour , her rything the whole time. She has learned to ride me for a good half hour, so I’ll change her current grade to a C+. LOL. But, ya can’t change horses in the middle of the race.

So so what about you Tara?

[Tryingfor7 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Tryingfor7]

I went down on a bird for two hours last year. Twenty years younger than me. Nearly crushed my head with her thighs. Moaning and screaming. Said she came two times in five minutes. I was drunk, couldn't get it up. Has Ignored me for the last ten months. Women. Go figure.

[not2big Senior Super ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close not2big]

I have only had sex with two partners. The first was a one night stand and the other relationship has lasted 47 years. Accordingly, it is difficult to provide a specific grade. The first encounter was as a naieve beginner and the other ranged from an F to an A+.

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

So so what about you Tara?[/QUOTE]

I don't know Party, care to test me?

[Dance Sucka Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dance Sucka]

I think sex absolutely reflects who we are. It shows if you're an attentive lover, a good communicator, confident in bed, innovative, etc. I don't find sex comparable to something like a degree or work, though. You can't objectively grade an experience so, like jock said, a younger guy's awesome sex could equal vanilla sex to a mature man. Sex with the same partner can also be awesome on some days and vanilla on others.

If you ask me, sex is an experience that can always be redefined if both partners are committed to that. You could already be having A+ sex and then together take that to the next level by working at it and learning more about each other. Just like life, sex is a thrilling work-in-progress!

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

So so what about you Tara?

I don't know Party, care to test me? [/QUOTE]

Tease. XOXO.

[newbeginning Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close newbeginning]

So I started wondering if sex is test? Does it reflect who we are? Like degrees or work.

Like all tests in life, everything is graded.

I guess I'm asking do you grade your lovers mentally?

I think there are certain memories that are always in the back of the head, like she was good at giving blowjobs, she had nice boobs, etc, but I don't think we generally think too much of it. It's just in the back of the head, like a distant memory. Same would go for women. This guy was good at oral. This guys penis was big etc, but it's most likely not something you would think of too often, but if someone questioned you, then it's in the back of your head.

[Dr Nemo Senior Member Member of the Month May 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close Dr Nemo]

So I started wondering if sex is test? Does it reflect who we are? Like degrees or work.

Like all tests in life, everything is graded.

I guess I'm asking do you grade your lovers mentally?

Is, say, a conversation a test?

A conversation is the best analogy to lovemaking in my opinion. A conversation reveals a great deal about the two of us and our "chemistry" for lack of a better word.

If a conversation takes on a life of its own - is a third thing that emerges out of our mutual presence - well then, that's a lovely or exciting or beautiful conversation. If it's rather just someone talking AT you - or it's stilted, or there's zero chemistry, or whatever - then it's just a lame exchange of viewpoints or information. That's great but in a relationship that's not what most people are looking for. The one involves two deeply interfused people and something that transcends both of them; the other is rather contractual: you give me this information, I give you that.

And we all notice this - or, some of us I suppose don't. But that's part of the revelation, i suppose.

But is sex a test? No, because there are no right answers; it's not based on some objective standards. It's rather that, like a conversation, it makes plainly obvious who we are and what our compatibility is; it reveals ourselves to each other. Sex is a revelation.

This is why sex makes us so vulnerable. And beautiful.





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[Dontrike Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dontrike]

Yes, sex is absolutely a test. Each time you're hoping to pass and make the other orgasm, with one gender's test being FAR harder to achieve. As for if I grade my own lovers....well I still haven't even gotten my learners permit in that area to take the actual test first and to be able to give them their test.

[halcyon_ Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close halcyon_]

I think it is, how a person is tested for compatibility before getting to the point of having sex. Attractiveness, mannerisms, personality, etc. Even if you're in a committed relationship, you passed a lot of tests to earn relationship sex.

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

A gentleman will focus on the person first, making sure there is some level of compatibility. If that pans out they they move on to other aspects of the relationship. I don't recall ever grading any partners on sex, it was more on the overall attraction, which included sex that started the relationship. Your question puts relationships in such a simplistic form that it is really hard to answer. There is no black and white when it comes to relationships. Sex is just a part of it and not a determining factor. It helps, but not the basis for a long term relationship in the early stages.

[incogneeetoe Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2017*Special Appreciated Moderator Nov. 2021* PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close incogneeetoe]

So I started wondering if sex is test? Does it reflect who we are? Like degrees or work.

Like all tests in life, everything is graded.

I guess I'm asking do you grade your lovers mentally?

Both the Quran and the Talmud say that all of life is a test (though, ok, I admit, that is not really the language that is used). In these two major belief systems, and indeed, in many Christian interpretations of the text, people view life as a series of events that are used to judge people on a pass or fail basis.

However, oddly enough, the idea of a "test" is fairly new. The Chinese started using types of standardized test somewhere around 600 CE. In western academia it is much later adaptation. Maybe in the 18th century. It's funny how such a new concept has permeated our lives to the point that we almost expect to be judged even in the sack.

I do not see my lovers as test takers, though I could see how other would. Maybe it is all about point of view. I generally saw it as myself being tested. I was just happy to be having sex with these wonderful women. I thought if I passed their test, then I would be able to continue having sex.

[Coyote Member Find all posts View Profile Close Coyote]

I think sex it's more of a spiritual test than a test to see if you can make the other person cum.

In the ancient days, in monotheistic religions, sex was often considered sacred, and an inhibitor to approaching enlightenment/knowledge of god. Therefore, the ability to resist sexual temptation was a necessary precursor to nirvana/enlightenment.

I think if you can limit yourself only to having sex with those you truly love, and eradicate porn from your sexual diet, you've gotten pretty high up the spiritual scale.