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  • Venting doubt about PE, girls and life. Offer insight please.

    I have expressed my pessimism in previous posts, but negative emotions have resurfaced again. I feel bad about my life in general and my thoughts drift towards my penis size and how small it is. While according to the studies I'm "average", it doesn't give me much reassurance because I've always felt small and been ridiculed for it. Moreover, I feel that other factors such as EQ, nationality, and how hard you press towards the pubic bone plays a role when you compare yourself to the studies. I know that much of my frustration is unfounded, because at around 5.75 BPEL my size isn't terrible, however, I'm afraid to put myself out there. Another thought that bothers me is if it's fair for me to start a family and have children. Would it be fair to provide children with my small penis genetics? Although we can enhance our size through PE, a lot of doubt still surrounds my mind about the whole method. Just look at the countless dead threads from people who put in great effort with little to show for it. Hell, just yesterday a long time veteran Kickinthemebs returned only to tell us that most of his gains have vanished. To someone who is just starting out, it is extremely discouraging to me and I sometimes wonder if what we're doing here is just pseudo science.

    To be frank, I think much of my frustration comes from life circumstances and dating more so than my penis size (although it does factor in). More specifically, I met a girl in my college class about a year ago whom I really hit it off with. Although she had a boyfriend at the time, I left a very good impression on her and there was something between us. Our last conversation took place a year ago, she had reached out to me on facebook asking how I had been. I informed her that I had quit college in order to pursue a degree in another field, she left a reply and our conversation ended there. A year has gone by and she has since left her relationship. If I were to reach out to her again and ask her out, I believe there's a good chance she'll say yes. However, I'm extremely depressed about my life circumstances and I don't want her to have a clue about just how badly my life has been since we last spoke. Not only have I not pursued an education in another field, I have also been unemployed, depressed, gotten fat and generally been very unproductive. It's only now that I'm beginning to muster back some of my energy to move myself in a positive direction in life. Aside from not even having sufficient financial resources to date her properly, I'm also afraid of having sex with her and disappointing her with my size.
    Zyxciz
    Senior Member
    Last edited by Zyxciz; 01-08-2019, 12:51 PM.

  • #2
    Ive had relationships with men your size and never considered an issue.

    I think you need to write a list of priorities and start ticking them off. Like going back in education or getting job, eating better and moving more.

    Its easy to get in a slump and its hard at first to pull yourself out of it but only you can do it. And im sure you can.
    Women were created from the rib of man to be beside him, not from his head to top him, nor from his feet to be trampled by him, but from under his arm to be protected by him, near to his heart to be loved by him.

    Comment


    • #3
      You seem to need a front end alignment, your brain vehicle is tending to veer off sharply, to the negative side of lifes road.

      Begin practicing 'Equal Opportunity Balanced Thinking' ( EOBT ).
      When you catch yourself creating a negative thought,
      “what if I can’t get hard, what if I can’t please another ??"

      Then counter balance that with an opposing positive thought,
      "I can and will get hard, we are going to Rock it !"

      You owe it to yourself to practice balance in your thinking !

      On self control
      Think of your ability for self control like this -

      Picture inside your brain, a mental steering wheel, like one in an automobile.
      Now picture yourself as two hands on that Steering wheel.
      OK, good, your now in control over steering your brain and your thinking.
      You get to decide and steer your brain.

      If going in one direction doesn't work; then steer in another direction.

      Feel lost at times ? That happens with all of us. It is ok to ask for help, directions, a push and then resume steering.

      Congratulations ! You're in control. Stay on the road and 'keep it between the ditches'.

      Failing in the past - your alter ego
      When you try something new, like you did, and fail, (for whatever reason), your alter ego decides it will protect you from failing again.

      It is not very smart.

      To protect you/itself from failing again, it prevents you from achieving what you have tried earlier in life. So, you & it, fail again as self protection against failing again.

      Insanity, but then again it's your alter ego doing what it does best, trying to protect you.

      A therapist can help you through this, it is not impossible. You can do it.


      Read and think about what I put in above, see what you can put to your good use.
      Valued Member of 11 years at the TheBiohacker
      Looks are deceiving, mirrors don't lie.

      Comment


      • #4
        Good advice from Tara and Dangler. So what if your finances aren't where you want them to be? Welcome to rest of the world. You can have some memorable dates for free, or very cheap. She may be understanding. You want her to like you for who you are anyway. If you want to get in touch with her, then get in touch with her. Don't let all that stuff become excuses to fuel any regret that may come from not saying something as simple as "hi". Bet you $5 she responds with something along the lines of "Oh hey, I was just thinking about you the other day."

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        • #5
          Science believes that it takes 21 days to form a habit around 66 to create habit. Do yourself a favor and start forming some structure in your life. Not just with PE but with other things as well. When added together, everything positive that you do within this structure will add up to one positive life change. I would put re-connecting with this girl at the bottom. Obviously you want to feel worth her time and dedication. But you also need to remember that some things are meant to be and others aren't. You can only help what is in your control and right now that is your life. Keeping busy is a big part of fighting off anxiety and negative emotions. Not just continuously doing something but more so doing quality things that your psych will recognize as a completed goal or gain. Start with visiting the gym, lose that weight, build some muscle maybe (if that makes you happy), wake up every morning with a look in the mirror saying to yourself things like "this is my day and it's going to be great", "I am the man", "I'm confident in who I am", "I can't help everything, but I can help the things in my life", etc. Figure something that works for you. It doesn't matter if you don't fully believe it right away, eventually (with habit) you will and it will be second nature. Start walking with you head a little bit higher (chin up) literally. You'd be surprised how many people walk with their face at the ground and what raising it up can do for self-esteem. Once you've got the right attitude physique you are comfortable with, go get a few new pairs of clothes. Having a fresh new look can really do wonders for how you feel about yourself. Then go out and have a drink, talk to girls, have fun, don't intend to hook up. Just meet people, talk, laugh, have a good time. This is all a process and just a suggestion of how YOU can change things in your life. Eventually, go get a new job if it suits you. Most importantly and this cannot be stressed enough...GET OUTSIDE OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE! Nothing good comes from them and they reverse positive habits. Hope this helps. Follow it, stick to it, make it happen, the choice is yours! Talking about it on here will only do so much.

          Comment


          • #6
            I would always be honest about your finances as you don't want to live outside your financial means for her. If she don't like that then unfortunately the relationship can not work. Now start eating better and workout. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. There's men out there that would do anything to have an at least 5.9 bpel. Go to reddits for smaller penises and you'll see guys out there that would be angry with you for acting this way because they would dream to be in your situation. Truth is we always want bigger, but don't let insecurity destroy your happiness. Now go for the girl and do your best. You can never know what happens if you don't try. If shit goes bad then at least you tried and onto the next girl.

            Comment


            • #7
              The thing is that I don't want to be categorized with "men my size", I want to have a great size. I know it's an ego thing but I'd hate for my potential partner to feel like she had to settle with "my size". As a man, I want to be strong, confident and masculine and I want to project that image out to the world. Knowing that a potential partner might smirk at my size cuts right at the core of my masculinity. I bet the men you were with around my size had a bigger girth than 4.7 Tara.

              At one point in my life, I thought I had everything going for me. I knew what I wanted to study and I was putting in a lot of effort towards it. Looking back, I viewed my high marks in school as a redemptive quality to my small penis and bad dating life. I blew off efforts to be social and outgoing only to delve deeper into my studies. To be fair, it sometimes was the wiser choice seeing as my group of friends were absoloutely toxic individuals. Furthermore, my family and narcissistic mother NEVER allowed me be an autonomous individual. Just writing about this invokes a fury in me that causes me to want to punch my monitor. After my high achieving dreams of becoming a doctor didn't come to fruition, I lost the one purpose I had, the one ticket out of that miserable life. I relapsed back to the same social circle of friends and my mother once again dug her claws in me. I'm experiencing a range of emotions writing this, bordering on tears now. 3 years, 3 FUCKING YEARS of my life have been wasted. From the age of 19 to 22 I did very little other than play video games. It is a sadness that I can not express, from having had a purpose in life only to lose it all. If I had actually been surrounded by a supportive community instead of toxic degenerates, I might have been able to pull myself back together. I fucking hate them, I wish I could punch my parents in the face. Absolute imbeciles.

              In regards to my priorities, I have pondered and written a list of things that I need to do in order to piece my life back together. Tomorrow is the first day of my swimming lessons and I'll also be doing therapy come february. I know I need to find a job as well and think about what direction I want to go in after that.
              Zyxciz
              Senior Member
              Last edited by Zyxciz; 01-06-2019, 03:29 PM.

              Comment


              • #8
                As someone that started out 2018 with 0.1" more length and 0.5" LESS girth... no partners have smirked at my size. To be blunt... Pound away knowing you won't hurt them and will hit their clitoris with your body. They'll be perfectly fine with that. Nothing about penis size goes into being strong, confident, and masculine, and being able to project that out into the world. That all comes from your character. You're a grown man now. You're not shackled by your parents and have the ability to go out and find new friends. Break the chains. You haven't wasted anything. You've learned quite a bit and it's up to you what to do with it. It will take time and you'll take steps backwards at some points, but there's always a way to come out ahead. Instead of thinking "if only I had...", think of what you need to do next. It sounds like you've already started.

                Comment


                • #9
                  All about improvement.
                  3 totally different and distinctive ways:
                  - Regression
                  - Stagnation
                  - Improvement

                  Every step you make goes in a direction. Be aware of where you step towards.
                  Get conscious, take an observer position over yourself and steer yourself where you want to go.
                  It's a struggle. That's life. It doesn't matter what you have, if you do the wrong steps you will feel bad.

                  What's next? And what's next after that? Answer to yourself with steps.
                  25cm! Let's go!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I don't know about girth. It's harder to judge.

                    I never asked nor measured the men I've been with.
                    Women were created from the rib of man to be beside him, not from his head to top him, nor from his feet to be trampled by him, but from under his arm to be protected by him, near to his heart to be loved by him.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      How many times we have heard "If only I had a large Penis, things would be different"? Thousands is the answer to that question and none of them has any basis in fact or reality other than what you perceive in your brain.

                      You tried college, it didn't work out. You tried other things that didn't work out. Not your parents fault, at this stage, you own your actions. As such, it is on you to pull yourself up and move in a positive direction. No one to pull you in that direction, you need to set sights on achievable goals and strive to get there.

                      Relationships are so much more than penis size. You know this, everybody knows this. So, get out there and interact - If you are missing anything in life, this is what it is. You won't disappoint, you won't let down, you will only fall short if your brain isn't in the game. It will show on the outside that you are not focused. Focus on the girl, make her happy, have fun and size gets pushed way to the back burner. And, remember, that many women have incredible sex life's with others who don't even have a dick - talking Lesbians here. So, up your oral game and make sure whom ever you are with is taken care of.

                      Confidence is something that comes from within. Once achieved, it beams in your outward appearance and becomes intriguing to the opposite sex. Get out of your head and move forward. Lots of fun to life and good times to be had. You are holding yourself back - let loose and move forward.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Dude with your attitude and crappy energy you are putting out she will never feel your penis.... Woman don't think like ,em they feel first and then think.. Your penis size is the least of your concerns.. Pick yourself up and be positive and make positive decisions in your life and the right woman will come to you... Change your mental state because it is not your penis size.... This stuff works but you can have the biggest dick and it won't matter because many woman don't care about that they want the emotional connection and emotional security.. Stop feeling sorry for yourself because that is not attractive to anyone...Please understand I am not being mean you sound young...
                        hm42
                        Senior Member
                        Last edited by hm42; 01-06-2019, 08:19 PM.
                        ANY DOUBTERS THAT THINK I AM LYING OR DOUBTERS THAT DON'T THINK THIS WORKS. SEE MY PICS
                        Initial 1/5/18
                        BPEL: 6.75-7"
                        EG: 5.25- 5.5
                        results 9/10/18
                        BPEL 22.22 cm - 8.75 in
                        EG 5.75 mid girth and 6.12 base.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Try to control your mind.

                          Many people have it way worst. Your thoughts is what is getting the best of you.

                          Change your thoughts.

                          Don't feed into negatively.


                          Through suffering, we develop callus for our minds.

                          Here's a great book. <Links to commercial websites are not allowed>
                          Use your time wisely. If your just playing videos games and not doing much.. you can understand why you feel that way.

                          Maybe try running, working out, etc.

                          Just try to be happy, listen to happy music, etc.

                          It's all the mind. Just like if someone is angry, they are going to just see everything in anger..until they calm down.

                          I use to have a habit of negative thinking but I'm more aware of it now from meditation and mindfulness.

                          Don't worry too much about girls until you feel happy and love yourself. Plenty of people try to find happiness in women, but they end up getting heart broken and feeling worst.

                          Focus on yourself and career. Girls will follow.
                          Cavalier
                          Retired Super Moderator
                          Member of the Month Feb 2015
                          PEGym Hero
                          Last edited by Cavalier; 01-07-2019, 03:57 AM.
                          Beginning: 1/6/2019
                          7" x 4.5"

                          January 20, 2019:
                          measuringDate

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Tara123 View Post
                            I don't know about girth. It's harder to judge.

                            I never asked nor measured the men I've been with.
                            It's likely if none stood out in anyway they were all somewhere near average you know around 4.7" meg

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              You leave that girl alone. You were never going to get her. She was just a girl that was nice to you in college. Now you're stalking her Facebook or whatever social media she's posted her relationship status on thinking you have a chance. You never did and never will. She was just a girl who was nice to you and that's it.

                              What were you thinking anyways? Were you expecting her to feel sorry for you and maybe throw a party fuck your way? Life doesn't work like that, and broken men who have no direction in life turn women off. You can be broken and still get some action if she can tell you're working on yourself, but in your condition you're looking for someone to take care of you and you're just not going to find a healthy woman who is willing to do that.

                              I'm not going to go in on you about PE stuff (that you know nothing about) or attempt to fluff your ego about your penis size, because that's not what you need right now. You're focusing entirely too much on sex when you don't even have your life together. Get out of your funk, get yourself together, and go after a girl who actually wants to date you who isn't seeing someone else.
                              Sex is the great leveler, taste the great divider. - Pauline Kael

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