So I finally had sex!<golf clap>.......But

[Dontrike]

Things have been weird since then, mostly as people, mostly one person, has told me that I was and am acting strangely, and I sort of agree with them. It was a sporadic and of the moment thing, someone saw my junk on a site, wanted to get together, and usually I would have contemplated it for years and then later regretted not doing, but not this time. No, this time it was a spur of the moment and I just accepted the offer and did it. It was quick, only a few minutes, which is about 4,000x longer than I thought I'd last, but I kept doing it anyways with a 75% erection 'cause I wasn't doing to just stop after one goof troop left my wang. Kept falling out though from taking too long of thrusts. I didn't pay for the sex, though I paid for the hotel room, safety was not used (yes, that's stupid though no side effects as of now so I'm in the clear, I think), and during which I found out they were a bit of a tweeker (doing whippets and it only makes the lack of protection even more stupid). The person said I was thick and they enjoyed it and that they haven't sweat that much during a fuck in a long while. If that was them placating me or not I don't know. The real issue is that my 3rd ex, which I've stayed friends with since breaking up, has repeatedly told me that I'm acting different. (I will say it was neat hearing her say "I wanted to be the one to take your virginity.") For a while I was inclined to believe them as I sort of felt.....depressed(?) maybe. Something definitely felt off after doing it. I figured after I had sex that I'd plan a god damned parade, banners a blasting I Just Had Sex on a Mad Max style car with enormous speakers, but instead I felt nothing. It felt so anticlimactic. I don't know if doing it with someone I cared about meant more to me, maybe like of foreplay and that all it ended up being here was a wam, bam, thank ya ma'am, but something felt off. After a few weeks I think I found out why and I think it was because I had made my identity strictly linked to me being a virgin for so long. I've told thousands, maybe millions, of jokes about me being a fucking loser and while this didn't mean I wasn't I think I had lost something there. I am no longer a person waiting for their first time, but now instead I am a person waiting for well...nothing, really. I don't have anything left to look forward to now, that . After I got over whatever mess of emotions that was I don't really feel like I'm any different, but my 3rd ex keeps saying "I miss the old you", and variations there of, and it's making me wonder if this is just gaslighting or if I have changed in some noticeable way. I've asked her what she means and she says she doesn't know, so that's only making me lean towards the gaslighting thing. I will say for a while I felt different and acted weirdly, but I don't think I am now. As for what I think I can do is either talk to a life coach or psychologist to maybe understand what's going on with me, if there is anything wrong. What do you folks think?

[incogneeetoe]

Always good to talk to a professional.

One week later, how you doing?

[Dontrike]

Always good to talk to a professional. One week later, how you doing?

Well it's been about two months since it and I'm fine, though a professional is probably a good idea about this and other issues. After that all is good, just getting much too fat after being out of work so long. Christmas was good, people enjoyed my banana s'mores and homemade cinnamon chips and fruit salsa (finely chopped fruit salad).

[CUSP82]

And you saved none for us!

[Jay1983]

Banana s'mores??? I'm gonna have to try me some of those.

[CUSP82]

Banana s'mores??? I'm gonna have to try me some of those.

With who's banana???????

[Dontrike]

Banana s'mores??? I'm gonna have to try me some of those.

It turned out to be a tasty recipe with terrible texture. I tried substituting the graham crackers for bananas, but marshmallow puff doesn't like banana. Both slide off each other. I also learned that milk chocolate sucks for melting/dipping in to. As for the cinnamon chips/fruit salsa I used a recipe you can find on google just by looking up the salsa. The salsa tastes great, but the recipe for chips was off, had to update it about three times to get it right. If you do it ever make sure to cut the tortilla into small pieces than slices, they don't cook if you don't.