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  • Reprogramming your negative beliefs.

    Some tips and tricks that will help you reprogram yourself to a better confidence!

    Hello all, since shortly i've been researching ways to improve my own mental attitude and self-image. Note I've been working on this for a long time but I belief I am able to share some most valuable tips and tricks that helped me and are still helping me. I'm not claiming I've found Buddha in any way, I merely have found tools you can use to improve yourself.

    DO NOTE CHANGE DOES NOT HAPPEN OVERNIGHT

    There are some conditions you need to have before you can change though.

    1. You need to WANT it badly, you need to put time and effort in(just like p.e, just like everything)
    2. You will not believe yourself in the first couple of times, especially if you have a very negative view. This is fine and perfectly normal
    3. You need to be able to visualise what you actually want.
    4. You need to become process orientated, improving yourself will never stop and is a life-time commitment.

    I think that sums up the most important parts, if anyone wants to extend on them please be free to add.

    Tool 1: 4 Kinds of self-affirmations

    Written affirmations
    Written affirmations are well, written affirmations. They don't have to be true at the moment, but they WILL be true if you keep repeating them and commit yourself to them. Your mind has magically the ability to bring what-ever you think about in your life and most of the shit we want, we can get purely by primal instincts. Too bad for us most of us are very smart guys and we think too much

    How does this work?

    Step 1. Write down 7 affirmations you want to have in your life, or mental attitude you want to change. For easy purposes I will write down my own, note these are solely focussed on woman currently and my own self-esteem you can replace them by anything.
    • It's oke, to let go of the past.
    • I love woman
    • Woman love me
    • I deserve to have beautifull woman in my life
    • I am comfortable having woman in my life
    • I am a sexually desirable
    • Woman want to fuck me


    Step 2: Re-write them down daily, FEEL how you feel when you actually start to believe them. The right attitude is like saying out loud DAMN, woman want to fuck me.
    Step 3: Keep commited!

    Knowledge and Gratitude
    These are similar to written affirmations, you write these down aswell. How-ever these are focussed solely on stuff already present in your life. Things you are gratefull for and things you acknowledge you will have(they enforce the written affirmations).

    Step 1: Take a sheet of paper, and write down I am gratefull for .... (fill in the blank).
    Step 2: Write about half paper full with things your truly gratefull for
    Step 3: The next half-page I want you to write down the following I know....(fill in) example : I know woman want to fuck me, I know I'm a fucking ten, I know i'm the price. I know woman want to statisfy me.
    Step 4: Do this daily aswell.

    Visualisation affirmations
    These affirmations are not to be written down but are to be done once or twice daily(or more) upon awakening and upon sleeping(most useable times)

    Time:15 minutes
    Step 1: The first 5 minutes think about all the stuff that makes you feel good(this is why it's so good to do these upon awakening).
    Step 2: The next 10 minutes think about what ideal self-image you have, what your ultimate goal is the perfect you your perfect life(want to have multiple woman? Want one woman who want to-do anything for you? Want to travel the world? What-ever your image is hold it, feel it, breath it. Act as if your already there in those 10 minutes.)
    Step 3: Do these daily(these are easiest to keep up with)


    Mirror affirmations
    Personally I love these the most, they are fucking amazing and they will improve you on multiple levels. This will also increase the connection, eye-contact and stillness/being in the moment when you talk to woman or people in general

    Time:20 minutes
    And a alarm

    Step 1: Go to a mirror, preferable a very big one where you can see yourself completely.
    Step 2: Go about 3 inches apart from the mirror with your nose(about 7 cm).
    Step 3: Put your alarm on a timer, that it goes off in 5-10 minutes.
    Step 4: Look into your right eye, and be still don't move and try to be as still as possible for 5-10 minutes.
    Step 5: After those 5-10 minutes start saying your affirmations, and feel them, believe them(your mind will fight with you if your just starting, just tell it to shut the fuck up and see it as a little whiny child).
    Step 6: After 5 minutes step back and keep looking in your right-eye, don't break eyecontact. Keep saying the affirmations
    Step 7: Walk back, and keep looking finnish the remaining time or if you want put in another extra 5 minutes.

    Extra notes:
    Note 1: Try to make sure all the affirmations are equally said; if you say 5x your ok with your past also say 5x I love woman.
    Note 2: Your mind will fight you in all these affirmations, and look for reasons not to be true. Accept this, and tell your mind to fuck off because your taking control of yourself.


    There are more tools that will help you. But I don't want to information overload you guys. Anyone want to start a topic where we will be acountability buddies?

    Bjorn89

  • #2
    I like the affirmations part. I used to do these a lot. Thanks for reminding me of them, pal. Something that worked for me, the same as one of your points, is "act as if." When you act as if you are overflowing with self-confidence, eventually you will BE overflowing with confidence and it will be REAL.

    P.S. The "I am grateful for..." writing/list is dynamite--great exercise!!! It's kind of like the American Thanksgiving all over again.
    Going411x7
    Senior Member
    Last edited by Going411x7; 12-15-2010, 09:53 AM.

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    • #3
      Interesting Bjorn, I do a lazy man's version of this on you-tube, type in intelligent warrior- you need to use headphones I think. But I do feel it works.
      Vulcan
      7.25 (start July 2009)>>>>>>8.125"BPEL (current)
      5.25 (start July 2009)>>>>>>5.75"EG (current)

      Comment


      • #4
        Good post. Could you provide any links to good books or sites you've come across in your research?

        That mirror thing is interesting. I'm the sort of person whose self confidence is so low that I avoid seeing myself in mirrors when I'm in public. I know, bad right?
        I need to get back into the habit of this kind of stuff, I simply just feel better when I do.
        Foreskins are friends.

        Comment


        • #5
          Yes, aidan. Some people would say that this is narcissistic, and not a good thing, but I think for some of us, we need to be more self-centered for a while, just to gain confidence. We need to look at our naked bodies in the mirror and say that the good Lord made us this way, and how could He have made a mistake? This is exactly the way we are meant to be. Then we can work on changing/improving ourselves. We ARE beautiful creatures, after all.

          Comment


          • #6
            Exactly, there is a massive difference between narcissism and confidence. Most of us here are here just for a little bit more confidence, I know I am. I came for the gains and I stayed for the company. I don't think you can very easily cross that border from confidence to arrogance with exercises like these though, which is a good thing.

            I have never done the 'I am grateful' exercise, but if you recommend it then I'll give it a whirl.
            Same goes for the youtube stuff you recommended Vulcan.
            Foreskins are friends.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by going411by7 View Post
              I like the affirmations part. I used to do these a lot. Thanks for reminding me of them, pal. Something that worked for me, the same as one of your points, is "act as if." When you act as if you are overflowing with self-confidence, eventually you will BE overflowing with confidence and it will be REAL.

              P.S. The "I am grateful for..." writing/list is dynamite--great exercise!!! It's kind of like the American Thanksgiving all over again.
              Your body will always try to achieve a sort of balance, that's why the consistency is very important. The state of homeostasis is a biological and psychological principle. Your mind always tries to achieve balance, that's why it can be very hard to change. But I am sure if you commit yourself, just like the p.e excercises you will make little changes(note this does NOT happen overnight).

              The reason the I am gratefull for excercises are so damn great, is that you will get a much more positive outlook on live. Instead of focussing on the stuff you don't have at all, you will focus on the stuff that you have. You will become more humble, which immediately starts to counter any form of narcicism or over-confidence. I truly believe in humbleness and honesty.


              Originally posted by vulcan View Post
              Interesting Bjorn, I do a lazy man's version of this on you-tube, type in intelligent warrior- you need to use headphones I think. But I do feel it works.
              Thanks, I have a recording that plays these affirmations and others aswell. It is a lazy-mans version yes, but I try to involve myself as active as possible because of multiple reasons.

              1. You incorporate kinesthetics(writing)
              2. You hear yourself saying this stuff(auditory learning)
              3. You visualise the affirmations(visual learners)

              This incorporates the major learning styles, and tackles every part of your senses thus incorprating stronger neurological connections, which in my theory would result in a faster and stronger belief in the stuff your affirming. How-ever automatic affirmation CDs are great to be used when your standing in front of the mirror where you just have to repeat what has been said.

              Originally posted by aidan784 View Post
              Good post. Could you provide any links to good books or sites you've come across in your research?

              That mirror thing is interesting. I'm the sort of person whose self confidence is so low that I avoid seeing myself in mirrors when I'm in public. I know, bad right?
              I need to get back into the habit of this kind of stuff, I simply just feel better when I do.
              Mirrors are your best friend if you use them correctly. CAVEMAN DIDN'T HAVE MIRRORS, they couldn't care less. We how-ever have them so use them as a tool, not as a enemy ;-)

              I have some great books/CDs but they're all on a torrent site. I can't provide links, but if you know your way around these sites I can provide you with an invite to them. On the premise you will put time and effort in the site(it's kinda hard to get into) and not fuck up your account immedaitely :-)






              Originally posted by going411by7 View Post
              Yes, aidan. Some people would say that this is narcissistic, and not a good thing, but I think for some of us, we need to be more self-centered for a while, just to gain confidence. We need to look at our naked bodies in the mirror and say that the good Lord made us this way, and how could He have made a mistake? This is exactly the way we are meant to be. Then we can work on changing/improving ourselves. We ARE beautiful creatures, after all.
              It's not only our naked body's, it's our whole beingnes your programming. We smart people tend to put ourselfs down very fast, and that's one of the problems with being smart. We think too much lol.

              Originally posted by aidan784 View Post
              Exactly, there is a massive difference between narcissism and confidence. Most of us here are here just for a little bit more confidence, I know I am. I came for the gains and I stayed for the company. I don't think you can very easily cross that border from confidence to arrogance with exercises like these though, which is a good thing.

              I have never done the 'I am grateful' exercise, but if you recommend it then I'll give it a whirl.
              Same goes for the youtube stuff you recommended Vulcan.
              Yes, I highly recommend it. Like I said, these will counter any form of being over-arrogant. In the end my vision is to be someone who is confident(from within) and humble.

              Think about this

              Your meeting a girl, your confident to talk to her but your also damn humble about your intentions, you state directly you are talking to her because something about her caught your attention and you became interested(no hovering around, stating your interested). She can either

              Have 3 reactions(Props to 60years of challenge for this, if you want the book I'll show you where to get it. Seduction made simple, how-ever it's still a challenge to put yourself out there.

              Color Coded Signals (pg. 47)
              REDS -
              When you Open: Rude response or ignores you
              Initial Vibe: Fake smile, avoids eye contact, not laughing
              Remember: Most girls aren’t actually bitches
              What she expects you to do: Call her a BITCH and walk away
              Solution: Laugh along with her. Women are funny. Especially
              when they are pretending to reject guys. Be genuine “I wanted to
              meet you”. Give her one more chance to be cool. If not “pleasure
              meeting you” and backturn.

              YELLOWS - When you Open: deer in headlights
              Initial Vibe: polite smiling. nervous laughter.
              Remember: She is more scared of you than you are of her
              What she wants: For this not to be awkward
              #1 Worry: How long is this guy staying?
              Solution: Be humble
              “You guys looked fun so I thought I would come over and
              introduce myself.”
              Yellows need a minute to warm up. Never say the following:
              “You don’t talk much do you?”
              “Are you guys are in a bad mood tonight?”

              GREENS - When you Open: Enthusiastic. Yay!
              Initial Vibe: Smiling. Eye Contact.
              What she wants: For you to shut up and escalate.
              #1 Worry: Is he going to kill the seductive vibe by letting me
              bait him into breaking rapport.

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              • #8
                Awesome post! I have fought depression all my life. From counselors in fostercare to psychiatrists in my adult life. One pill doesn't work I get a new one and let's not forget the hours upon hours of so called sessions! But none of these professionals has ever informed me of these techniques. I would love to be educated if you ever get bored!
                NoseyBailey:rolleyes:

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                • #9
                  Thanks Bjorn, for your thoughtful, learned and wise responses. You're a good man, and a wonderful member of the Gym. I hope you stay with us for a long time.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Yes, yes, Bjorn. That is exactly what the p.e. exercises have done for me--they have given me a much more positive outlook on life. Bravo Bjorn!!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Noseybailey View Post
                      Awesome post! I have fought depression all my life. From counselors in fostercare to psychiatrists in my adult life. One pill doesn't work I get a new one and let's not forget the hours upon hours of so called sessions! But none of these professionals has ever informed me of these techniques. I would love to be educated if you ever get bored!
                      Pills don't solve anything, when you don't have appropriate therapy to go with them. For general "downness" tips I can highly suggest you to go check your Testosteron levels and your vitamine-D levels.

                      Both contribute to feelings of being depressed.

                      Read more about vitamine-D here

                      http://www.vitamindcouncil.org/depression.shtml

                      The testosteron research can be found here

                      http://journals.lww.com/psychopharma...&type=abstract

                      There's more links but I'm too lazy to search all of them!

                      Now on to therapy forms, and self-therapy regarding depression.

                      I can highly suggest you to try and find the Sedona Supercourse, this will teach you how-to let go of feelings of depression, and general feelings of feeling stuck / in a rut. I havent been using it very long yet, but some people on am other site have had tremendous benefits.

                      Edit there are other self-therapy programmes that can help

                      1. David Burns - Feeling Good (A great manual written by a professional psychologist to help you get over depression, principles of CBT are applied here).
                      2. Lefkoe Method - Helps you eleminate / re-adjust beliefs
                      3. Sedona Method / Release method
                      4. The Work by - Byron Katie
                      (see what-ever fits yourself, I find sedona to work very good, but all of them work(as read on other forums).

                      One last thing I highly recommend is working out(Which ofcourse also naturally boosts T-levels). Start a work-out plan(Starting Strength) and start eating in a general healthy way(Paleo diet / Primal Blueprint).

                      Read http://www.marksdailyapple.com/ and there are more stuff about Paleo eating but I find this one the easiest to digest :-)(read the top 10 primal laws étc, articles on the site)

                      There are much more sources/information but it's soo hard to not get overwelmed by it.



                      (Disclaimer: I'm not a healtcare professional, I do not own any degree (yet) any advice given here is on your own risk to try. I am not responsible in any way or form) ;-) but ofcourse keep asking me anything, I'll try to share what I've learned(Also DONT EVER take anything I say as the truth, start your own curiousity and learn all the things for yourself(I improve daily and have a lot of learning experiences, where I am corrected aswell)

                      Originally posted by going411by7 View Post
                      Thanks Bjorn, for your thoughtful, learned and wise responses. You're a good man, and a wonderful member of the Gym. I hope you stay with us for a long time.
                      Thankyou, I hope we can get a positive shift regarding attitude here. I just hope this topic won't end up somewhere in the bottem because I think this will be one of the best topics regarding mental / general health(yes I am confident xD ;-))

                      Originally posted by going411by7 View Post
                      Yes, yes, Bjorn. That is exactly what the p.e. exercises have done for me--they have given me a much more positive outlook on life. Bravo Bjorn!!
                      Yes, the goal setting and achieving has tremendous benefits. I started this PE as a hobby just to see if it works, but now I keep doing it because well(i got too much free time) and I want to achievem y goal, not something we can reach overnight).

                      I hope I can share some more information soon(I suggest to start journalling on this stuff, just like the P.E stuff so you have some sort of appointment with yourself to keep doing them daily.
                      Bjorn89
                      Senior Member
                      Last edited by Bjorn89; 12-16-2010, 03:35 AM.

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                      • #12
                        One should never stop learning, Bjorn. That's why I am still practicing p.e. as I continue to experiment with new ideas. I say, "Keep what works for you, and leave the rest."

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                        • #13
                          Bah, none of that will work for me. I am too small to be truly happy.

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                          • #14
                            Not with that attitude! Hence the point of this thread man!
                            Foreskins are friends.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by aidan784 View Post
                              Not with that attitude! Hence the point of this thread man!
                              lol, look at my eg man, 3.85"! You can say all the platitudes you want, at a certain point of smallness, it just sucks.
                              ktc0905
                              Senior Member
                              Last edited by ktc0905; 12-16-2010, 04:40 PM.

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