Help me change my views.

[SuperSize]

I am a very shallow person. I go after girls based on only their looks. If they don't look good, I don't even bother to talk to them. On top of that, I have very high standards. I recently broke up with my girlfriend because she was insecure about me talking with other girls. I do interact with other better looking girls quite frequently. I've made this my habit to flirt with any cute girl that I see.

Even though this is my first girl, I know for a fact that she is girlfriend material. She would never cheat on me and she loved me for who I was.

In the end, I know that personality is more important than looks when it comes to relationships. In the back of my mind, I know this. However, whenever I see a cute girl anywhere, I completely ignore that and get this urge to get with them.

How can I deal with this? I do want to get back with my ex and I know she would be open to it if I just changed my f-ed up ways.

At the same time, I feel like I can't change because I am so used to looking at girls for their bodies and nothing more.

Thanks.

[Stretch Armstrong]

Don't be shallow. Fixed.

[SuperSize]

Don't be shallow. Fixed.

That's like telling me to change from Christianity to Islam overnight.

[MrBigDick]

It sounds to me like you need to grow up a little bit. Only you can make a change for yourself. If you want to make the change, then start doing it. Just talk to different types of women. If you want to change your ways, you'll find a way to do it. I've always wanted a petite little blond and I've always gotten everything BUT that. I'd be happy to find one that wasn't emotionally fucked up.

[TINKERBELL]

Is it an ego thing? insecurity thing?
are you afraid of what other people would think if you went out with someone who isn't Hot?
ARE you physically stimulated by girls who are average rather then hot?
Are you an image based person .. do you need all the latest gadgets,best clothes, a flash car to feel like you're someone?
Do you set your standards to high that no matter who you are with they fall short and you feel you could do better... so you are always looking for a better option?
Do you think you are gods gift to women?

[Stretch Armstrong]

That's like telling me to change from Christianity to Islam overnight.

You're immature man, there's nothing anyone can say to make you grow up faster.

[WhiteCloudz]

you have taken the first positive step yourself by admitting that you want to change the way you view people...but remember rome wasnt built in a day...but the good thing is you can start straight away because you will probably see alot of women everyday...

But just be honest with yourself,if you dont find somebody attractive then thats just you,you have high standards or whatever but that doesnt mean that other people wont think the exact same person is beautiful...everybody is different,and we all have different views...you will change if you want to,it seems like its just a bad habit you may be entertaining but no good will come from it....i have friends who have judged women and only got with the best looking ones but not one of them has ever had a truly satisfying relationship yet...beauty is a passing experience and it doesnt matter who you are because one day we will all grow old...

But sexual attraction is a strong energy and sometimes we cant help being drawn to the most beautiful women who exude or carry a gentle but powerful feminine energy that is very capturing to some of us...but if it is a mate you seek you may want to examine your beliefs and your desires...but all in all dont be too hard on yourself it will all work out perfect im sure....best of luck bud!!!

[Samurai]

How old are you SuperSize? You said that this girl was your first girlfriend, well maybe you want to play around and are not ready for a relationship yet. If so, then let her go. It is very disrespectful to her if you are flirting with other girls when she is around you. This is bad for her self esteem. You said you believe, you can't change but in all truth, you can. Focus your energy on your girlfriend. Give her your energy. Your thoughts are too scattered looking at all the other girls. Focus on your girlfriends beautiful qualities and stop comparing her to other girls. She obviously has beauty, or you wouldn't be with her in the first place.

[SuperSize]

Thank You for your responses.
Yes I am immature and I do acknowledge that.
@TTBB - You have asked the questions that pretty much define me. I'll explain.

Is it an ego thing? insecurity thing?
I do have a big ego. My past girlfriend wasn't as good looking as I wanted so I was a little insecure about being proud of her. I do have a lot of pride in everything I do. I want to be envied. Recently, I had this epiphany type thing that just made me realize what I am aiming for in everything I do. Pride. If I find a girl, I check with all my close friends, ask them of their opinion. If they don't say shes cute, I don't go for her.

Are you afraid of what other people would think if you went out with someone who isn't Hot?
-Yes, I am. I want to be the guy that other guys are jealous of because of my girlfriend. I want other people to say "oh wow look at this guy I wish I was him."

ARE you physically stimulated by girls who are average rather then hot?
-No

Are you an image based person .. do you need all the latest gadgets,best clothes, a flash car to feel like you're someone?
-No, I am not materialistic. I do not care about technology, fashion, cars, etc to gain "edge" on others. I dress like I don't care hehe.

Do you set your standards to high that no matter who you are with they fall short and you feel you could do better... so you are always looking for a better option?
-Yes, I feel like I can always do better. I have had multiple openings with what others may view as good looking but I turned them all down because I felt that I can do better.

Do you think you are gods gift to women?
-No. I am not strikingly good looking, or have a nice body or penis, but I do have comedy in me. I feel like I do have the ability to talk any woman I want. I am sociable and I feel that is my strongest point so I use my humor to get to where I want.

Thank you for these questions.

[cameraobscura]

Hi there,

Looks mean nothing my friend. Open your heart, and find the true sources of eros, far beyond the momentary glimmer of beauty that surrounds the physical body.

Do you know this song?

YouTube - Jimmy Soul - If You Want To Be Happy

Good luck liberating yourself from the painful trap of materialism...