The Manly Arts!

[Pirate]

I don't think anyone has ever managed to work Chuck Norris into their 500th post before. Congratulations!

[Ravenously]

Chuck Norris doesn't do PE, Chuck Norris' penis exercises him.

[Ravenously]

If your not sure what it is, then poke it with a stick till you find out.

[malehanger]

Is that really what happens when you get your pants tailored? I had pants tailored once but the lady didn't ask.

Chances are, she did not know to. Being a woman.

[malehanger]

-Women don't like catching you staring at their breasts, so wear sunglasses.


-

The trick being to politely ask to stare at her breasts. She'll take it as a complement.

[BigO]

Is that really what happens when you get your pants tailored? I had pants tailored once but the lady didn't ask.

Falls off chair laughing at the endless possibilities of jokes that could follow sorry..........

Didnt think it was needed.

She asked me.

was she choking on something.

Sorry Raider, I had too!.......But I am ready for my lumps.

[Rasputine]

I don't think anyone has ever managed to work Chuck Norris into their 500th post before. Congratulations!

I don't think it taken anyone as long as me to get to 500 post!Did not mean to sabotage thread.

[Pirate]

If you phone rings in the middle of your prostate exam, do not answer it.

[Pirate]

A tuxedo is a specific kind of suit. If the event you are to attend says "Formal Attire" or "Black Tie" or even "Black Tie Optional", it means "Tuxedo." Just wearing a nice black suit and tie is not the same thing. Get the tuxedo. You can rent them, but if you are attending more than one or two black tie events a year, you should seriously consider buying one. (Tuxedos never go out of style and for a variety of reasons, they tend to be less expensive than suits.)

Contrary to 70's popular thinking, wearing formal clothes is not some how demeaning or conformist. It is simply good manners. Whoever chose the "dress" (ie dress code) for the event, wants to a) make everyone comfortable by telling them clearly what is expected and b) make the event very pretty and c) created a certain atmosphere. Tuxedos mean something and they do a few things very very well: they make you look good, they make your companion look fargin' awesome (I have never met a woman who is not simply thrilled to pieces to hang on the arm of a sharped dressed man in a tux) and they can magically turn a bunch of desperadoes and scalawags (Cuspie and the crew of the Phallic Avenger, for example) into urbane, sophisticated men about town.

There is enough wiggle room with in the Black Tie Protocol (BTP) to express your individuality and creativity: the tie, the cummerbund or vest, and the shoes. All, except the vest should, still be black and of high quality and great condition but beyond that let your inner fashion maven go crazy.

There are other non-tuxedo but still appropriate responses to a BTP: a military dress uniform (but only if you have earned the right to wear that uniform) or cultural formal wear (a formal kilt, for example) are perfectly acceptable.

Showing up in jeans, a tee shirt, and flip flops does not show the world that you are rebel and no one can tell you what to do. It tells everyone that you are an ass and will ensure that you are never (and I do mean never) invited back.

One last word: keep the tie tied until your partner decides to take it off of you: that experience is worth any tie related discomfort....
YARRRR!

[ryansambas]

I'd love to see Chuck Norris v Chuck Liddell...night, night Norris!