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Thread: The Manly Arts!

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  1. 06-05-2013 #221
    Toadstool
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dontrike View Post
    As much as I would like to argue otherwise that is pretty much true. Sure there can be circumstances that would make such pain stay with you than longer than you would like or even want and I sure as hell can't seem to be able to do it, but it is up to each individual to do so.
    I feel that one of the attributes of a real man is that he is in control of his emotions at all times. That isn't to say he doesn't become vulnerable or feel sadness, but he doesn't let these things control him.
    If you're still of the mindset that your mother or your ex or whomever is "making" you feel a certain way (whether good or bad) then you are not in control of yourself and are not taking responsibility for your feelings.

    I had a run in with this just the other week. I thought I was all high and mighty because I was in control of my emotions. No one could make me feel bad. Then this girl walks into my life and she starts "making" me feel good. She starts saying things like how awesome I am, how she's quickly falling for me, she repetitively told me all the things that any guy would love to hear. She was essentially pushing my feel-good buttons. I had to put a stop to that as soon as I became aware of it.
    That isn't to say I don't enjoy her company but I don't want her to be in control of when I'm feeling good about myself, or when I'm feeling bad. She says one thing, I'm up. She says another, I'm down. Why should I give anyone that kind of power over me?
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    "Know the rules well, so that you may properly break them" - The Dalai Lama
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  2. 06-05-2013 #222
    Dontrike
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    Quote Originally Posted by Toadstool View Post
    I feel that one of the attributes of a real man is that he is in control of his emotions at all times. That isn't to say he doesn't become vulnerable or feel sadness, but he doesn't let these things control him.
    If you're still of the mindset that your mother or your ex or whomever is "making" you feel a certain way (whether good or bad) then you are not in control of yourself and are not taking responsibility for your feelings.
    It depends on how much you gave those people really. In my case I gave 12 years taking care of my mother and in the end all I got was her lying that I was abusing her and having the cops talk to me before the state took her away, so I am going to have the emotional/mental baggage equal to that of the lost and found of an airport. As for an ex doing that I would love for that to not have as much power over me, but can't seem to be able to get out of that, possibly because I still talk to her and she is probably my best friend, which is both sad and great at the same time. In the end though each person will have someone, or something, that gets under their skin or burrows into their thoughts so deep that even when you think it is over you forgot to tear the roots out and it came right back.

    I had a run in with this just the other week. I thought I was all high and mighty because I was in control of my emotions. No one could make me feel bad. Then this girl walks into my life and she starts "making" me feel good. She starts saying things like how awesome I am, how she's quickly falling for me, she repetitively told me all the things that any guy would love to hear. She was essentially pushing my feel-good buttons. I had to put a stop to that as soon as I became aware of it.
    That isn't to say I don't enjoy her company but I don't want her to be in control of when I'm feeling good about myself, or when I'm feeling bad. She says one thing, I'm up. She says another, I'm down. Why should I give anyone that kind of power over me?
    Everyone gives that power over to someone or something. Your family pet when you grew up made you happy, you may even have a pet that does that for you now. If you have kids the same thing is easily true as well. Friends can easily get under your skin or cheer you up and the same can be true with family or the other half of the couple you are a part of.

    Throughout our whole lives we are divvying up pieces of ourselves, deciding what and who makes us happy or angry, the difference is how much we give out to each person or thing. Sometimes we give too much to one person or thing, maybe because we were being to dependent on them or perhaps that person or thing was what caused a dramatic change, for the better or worse, and it just naturally stuck to you. There will always be something that makes you lose control in some way.

    No one is 100% in control of their feelings.
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  3. 06-07-2013 #223
    McDick
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    Quote Originally Posted by Toadstool View Post
    She says one thing, I'm up. She says another, I'm down. Why should I give anyone that kind of power over me?
    It's called being human. When you were a kid your parents had the same effect on you, at least I would hope...unless you're some kind of sociopath it's natural. I think you may be trying a bit too hard at whatever it is you want to prove to yourself. Instead of looking at it as "giving anyone that kind of power over me" you should be looking at it for what it is...valuing the opinion of somebody you have let close enough into your life to give you positive and negative feedback. Whether you feel up or down is completely up to you.
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    START 12-17-2012 BPEL: 6.0 MEG 5.0
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  4. 06-08-2013 #224
    Pirate
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    Good points gentlemen.
    The trick, methinks, is to chose wisely those whose opinions we really care about.
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    Pirate Diplomacy:
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  5. 06-09-2013 #225
    Toadstool
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    Quote Originally Posted by McDick View Post
    It's called being human. When you were a kid your parents had the same effect on you, at least I would hope...unless you're some kind of sociopath it's natural. I think you may be trying a bit too hard at whatever it is you want to prove to yourself. Instead of looking at it as "giving anyone that kind of power over me" you should be looking at it for what it is...valuing the opinion of somebody you have let close enough into your life to give you positive and negative feedback. Whether you feel up or down is completely up to you.
    i didn't mention anything about opinions or valuing people. I was talking about being in control of myself, my emotions. You and I do agree.
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    "Know the rules well, so that you may properly break them" - The Dalai Lama
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  6. 06-09-2013 #226
    goodfellow
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pirate View Post

    Tip: When walking with a female along a road, always walk between her and the traffic. You don't need to make a big deal about it, just do it. She will notice and appreciate it.
    The gent should actually keep the lady on his right hand side, even though it makes sense to shield her from any danger from the road. The point of that, was to ensure he was able to draw his sword without things getting in his way.
    Last edited by goodfellow; 06-09-2013 at 02:25 PM.
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  7. 06-10-2013 #227
    Pirate
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    Quote Originally Posted by goodfellow View Post
    The gent should actually keep the lady on his right hand side, even though it makes sense to shield her from any danger from the road. The point of that, was to ensure he was able to draw his sword without things getting in his way.
    An interesting point!
    Personally, I carry enough armament that she won't be in my way, where ever she is.
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    Pirate Diplomacy:
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    Remember: If done right, there is no such thing as safe sex.
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  8. 10-07-2013 #228
    Pirate
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    Do what you think will make the world a better place. If doing something won't make the world a better place, don't do it.
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    Pirate Diplomacy:
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  9. 10-11-2013 #229
    Pirate
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    Learn how to wet shave using a safety razor
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    Pirate Diplomacy:
    The art of telling someone to go to hell and having them look forward to the trip.

    Remember: If done right, there is no such thing as safe sex.
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  10. 10-11-2013 #230
    anonymity
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    Thank you for sharing this with the boys Pirate. By the way guys, he's on to something with this, so check it out.
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