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Thread: The Manly Arts!

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  1. 10-22-2011 #1
    Pirate
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    The point of this thread is to share worldly tips on doing manly stuff.

    Tip: When walking with a female along a road, always walk between her and the traffic. You don't need to make a big deal about it, just do it. She will notice and appreciate it.
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  2. 10-22-2011 #2
    Pirate
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    Tip: When you buy a suit or sport coat, the outside pockets are stitched shut so that the coat hangs right on the hanger. Ask them to remove the stitching before you leave the store. Also, when you are buying dress clothes, use the seasoned male sales person not the adorable female one. She will tell you what she likes to see but he will tell you how to look good and, if you ask him, can tell you one hell of a lot of useful tips about dressing.
    Last edited by Pirate; 10-23-2011 at 03:36 PM.
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    Pirate Diplomacy:
    The art of telling someone to go to hell and having them look forward to the trip.

    Remember: If done right, there is no such thing as safe sex.
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  3. 10-22-2011 #3
    Pirate
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    Tip: When ordering wine, red wines usually have a stronger flavor than white wines and can overwhelm delicately flavored foods. Reds can also make some people sweat.

    White wines like to be chilled, reds like to be room temperature.

    If you don't like white wines but want something light, pick a Pinot Noir.

    If you don't like red wines but want something with body, you're screwed.

    After you order a bottle of wine and they bring it to you to taste, they will hand you the cork. Smelling the cork tells you nothing. Put the cork down on the table. (If you really like the wine, take the cork home as it usually has the name of the wine on it and is easier to carry than the empty bottle.) The server will then pour a small amount of wine into a glass for you to taste. You are not tasting to see if you like it. You are tasting to see if it has turned into elephant piss or worse. On occasion, wine does go bad. It does not take an expert to determine this. If the wine has turned, most likely everyone at the table will know as soon as the bottle is opened. Assuming, the aroma of the wine is not causing you to gag, take a swig of the wine and glance at the label. If the label matches the wine that you ordered, declare the wine good with word, nod, or gesture and the pouring will commence (ladies first.)

    You do not get to return a bottle of wine because you don't like it. You do get to return it, if it was gone over to the dark side.

    Hold the wine glass by the stem. That is why they are designed with stems.
    Last edited by Pirate; 10-23-2011 at 03:36 PM.
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    Pirate Diplomacy:
    The art of telling someone to go to hell and having them look forward to the trip.

    Remember: If done right, there is no such thing as safe sex.
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  4. 10-22-2011 #4
    Pirate
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    Tip: A hangover is dehydration. To avoid a hangover, drink lots of water before you go to sleep.
    Last edited by Pirate; 10-23-2011 at 03:37 PM.
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    Pirate Diplomacy:
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  5. 10-22-2011 #5
    CUSP82
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    Going up and down stairs;
    Although they will think it so we can check out their ass a man should walk behind a woman when going up stairs. If they fall backwards ( the dangerous fall) you are there to stop them.
    Going down the stairs a man should walk in front of the woman. If they fall you are the cushion.
    Last edited by Pirate; 10-23-2011 at 03:37 PM.
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    The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!
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  6. 10-22-2011 #6
    ClownVomit
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    Tip: Girls only like guys with skills. Like bow staff skills, Nunchuck skills, computer hacking skills....
    Last edited by Pirate; 10-23-2011 at 03:38 PM.
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  7. 10-22-2011 #7
    Pirate
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    Quote Originally Posted by ClownVomit View Post
    Tip: Girls only like guys with skills. Like bow staff skills, Nunchuck skills, computer hacking skills....
    True that! Become an expert at something: an Alpha Male in anything.
    Last edited by Pirate; 10-22-2011 at 01:26 PM.
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    Pirate Diplomacy:
    The art of telling someone to go to hell and having them look forward to the trip.

    Remember: If done right, there is no such thing as safe sex.
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  8. 10-22-2011 #8
    Pirate
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    Opening doors: Open the door for the lady except when the logistics make it awkward. You don't need to scurry around and dive for the door knob, but do plan ahead. As you approach the door, look to see which way it opens, whether you will reach it ahead of her, etc and pace your steps accordingly. You don't have to get it every time. In fact, get into the habit of holding the door open for just about anyone. It is a nice thing to do and sometimes it gets you free drinks.
    Last edited by Pirate; 10-23-2011 at 03:38 PM.
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    Pirate Diplomacy:
    The art of telling someone to go to hell and having them look forward to the trip.

    Remember: If done right, there is no such thing as safe sex.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  9. 10-22-2011 #9
    closed056
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    TIP: When holding hands, make sure your hand is on top/in front NOT below/behind. It makes you more of the 'leader'.

    TIP: When you have your arm around a girl DONT put across her upper back while grabbing her shoulder, put your arm around her neck and pull her in close (almost like a head lock)
    Last edited by Pirate; 10-23-2011 at 03:39 PM.
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  10. 10-22-2011 #10
    TheSnitch
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    TIP: When you have your arm around a girl DONT put across her upper back while grabbing her shoulder, put your arm around her neck and pull her in close (almost like a head lock)
    Unless she is taller than you, else it will look like your trying to wrestle a giant shorty.
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