Does she have a boyfriend?

[ThirdArm Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ThirdArm]

You've just met a girl for the first time. You are attracted to her, and do NOT want to be just a friend.

How do you find out if she has a boyfriend? Do you ask flat out? Ask her on a date and let her correct you if she's not single?

If she doesn't have an opportunity to mention her boyfriend, or simply chooses not to, a guy can't just read her mind. We need to communicate!

Share your best tips for finding this out in a direct, yet comfortable manner.

[CaptainJohnson Retired ModeratorSenior MemberPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CaptainJohnson]

If she doesn't mention a boyfriend, she either doesn't want to, or doesn't have one. If she wants you as 'more than a friend', that is between you and her. If she has neglected to tell you of a boyfriend, that is an issue when it comes. Otherwise, it isn't your concern, and has nothing to do with your relationship with her.

A mature girl will tell you she has a boyfriend, if she does, when you ask her out. Don't sweat it. If you find out she does down the road, deal with it then, and do the right thing whatever that may be.

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

If I liked her i wuld just ask her if she woul like the...I mean if she wants to go out. Simple and direct, the rest is up to her. I would be bummed if said yes and then later revealed she had a boyfriend.

[ThirdArm Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ThirdArm]

I'm not sure how these girls are misinterpreting 'would you like to have lunch/coffee/?'.

When I sense hesitation ("Well, er..., um...") and lack of eye contact, I sometimes say "If you have a boyfriend, a 'no' might be appropriate here." I'm trying to encourage honesty. Of course I say it politely.

[pterodactyl Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close pterodactyl]

I ask flat out. Get the info and let her know your intentions with one simple, harmless, and respectful question.

[BTBrian Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close BTBrian]

Agree with pterodactyl. Also, this is the single thing that I have ever facebook stalked someone for; to find out if a girl is single or not.

[Qarzan Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Qarzan]

I'm not sure how these girls are misinterpreting 'would you like to have lunch/coffee/?'.

When I sense hesitation ("Well, er..., um...") and lack of eye contact, I sometimes say "If you have a boyfriend, a 'no' might be appropriate here." I'm trying to encourage honesty. Of course I say it politely.

I tend to ask a girl out only after I'm about 95% sure she likes me and is available. "Available" does not necessarily mean "no boyfriend." I advance and advance to the point where we're basically making out, and asking her out would seem like it should have happened already. This makes it seem natural and unforced. It gives it the feeling of, "well, we've already gone this far, maybe we should back up a bit and actually have a date or something."

It also ensures that the date will be HOT, and not awkward. Usually a date with a woman after you've already made out with her, starts with a hug and a kiss, then holding hands as you go to the restaurant or wherever.

Women are more receptive to feelings, and less receptive to future plans. If it doesn't feel "right" or natural for you to be asking them out, they will refuse.

Bottom line, in response to your question, I wouldn't ever ask if she has a boyfriend.

EDIT: Establish intimacy and trust first, then ask her out; not the other way around.

[Toadstool Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Toadstool]

^I'm with Qarzan.
I advance until she tells me not to. Having a boyfriend doesn't mean she won't go home with me. Reminding her of it might.
So i play by don't ask don't tell.

[BTBrian Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close BTBrian]

Having a boyfriend doesn't mean she won't go home with me.

Just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score! That being said I don't encourage facilitating cheating haha.

[Toadstool Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Toadstool]

HAHA i love that one.

Some girls approach dating like a CEO would approach hiring a new employee. Sometimes they go exclusively with the best resume and train them to be the best there.
Other times, they will hire a larger group of people and whoever does the best gets the job.
Does she test you, or does she invest in you?

When I think of it like this, I have a hard time getting angry at girls who cheat.

[Qarzan Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Qarzan]

Just my POV, cheating arises only when one party is being dishonest and/or lying. Which means, if I ask her if she has a boyfriend and she says, "yes", to me that still doesn't necessarily mean that she's trying to get me to stop.

Some women I know, that I'm friends with, will tell you that they have a boyfriend, or fiance, or whatever, just as a means of full honesty and disclosure. Kind of letting you know, "Hey, I'm involved with someone, so if you're expecting some kind of deep relationship, it's not gonna happen. But we can fool around if you want." These women have agreements with their boyfriends/fiances that they are allowed to act on their impulses.

I don't consider this to be cheating.

EDIT: Or maybe a more accurate statement is that they can have other deep meaningful relationships, but that there are restrictions on their time. Yes, this sounds a lot more accurate than the previous one.

[4Samson Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close 4Samson]

Was going to quote a bunch a stuff but I'll just leave it at I have more traditional views and wouldnt be interested (other than a one night stand maybe) in a girl who didnt. If she cheats with you she will cheat on you and is not deserving of a relationship with me. That being said I'm happily engaged and all that crap doesnt concern me anymore.

[ThirdArm Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ThirdArm]

I ask flat out. Get the info and let her know your intentions with one simple, harmless, and respectful question.

You bring up a good point. It's direct and has a good chance of yielding an accurate answer - even if it's not "I'm single". It's good to be open about intentions, but being so forward might scare some women off - no? Is this true in your experience?

[Qarzan Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Qarzan]

I think about the kind of relationship I want: open & direct communication about anything and everything. Then I act that way. If she doesn't like it, then that means she wasn't the right one for me.

[Padawan787 Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Padawan787]

Was going to quote a bunch a stuff but I'll just leave it at I have more traditional views and wouldnt be interested (other than a one night stand maybe) in a girl who didnt. If she cheats with you she will cheat on you and is not deserving of a relationship with me. That being said I'm happily engaged and all that crap doesnt concern me anymore.

I agree completely