When the girl likes it hard..

[slanker Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close slanker]

Sup guys, just sharing thoughts and hope to find a new insight into my ''inner fears'' as you might say.

Basically, I have not had sex for 3 years now and I'm not one to sleep around. I intend to have sex and when I do it will be daily in a commited relationship.
Now my girl and I are at a long distance and due to various issues have put our relationship on hold for now but hoping to move in together when she's ready. Anyway we talked about sex with each other, played with each other and one thing she said that has stuck with me all this time is, "I like it hard baby". She's not the only one to say that to me, girls just like it hard. And I have to oblige Im sure you can understand where I'm coming from.

Here's my issue/dilemma/inner fear whatever. My celibate period was preceded by many unsatisfying sexual encouters where I was with uncaring women and didn't last that long and forgot what to do. Before that period I was in a long term relationship and I used to go all night. When I edge now, sometimes alone, sometimes to porn, I can edge for hours and my kegel is strong enough to hold that P0NR back, usually. However, this is light stimulation, slow/medium-fast strokes concentrating at the lower half of the shaft. If I move the stroke to the top half below the glans, then it just gets too intense and that P0NR is right their and it's the danger zone and I could cum their and then! This really bothers me because this makes me wander if I could really give it hard without wanting to cum when the time comes?

So I'm just preparing myself mentally and physically for this moment so I can give her all the pleasure she needs. And I'm hoping you guys can reassure me all is not lost.

I plan to talk to my girl about this and I know this will ease off the pressure and she will understand, and this in turn will help me become the 'master pumper' lol . I believe a lot of it is just psychological/confidance.

Also, having sex daily making up for lost time, I'm hoping will condition my unit to the task at hand. Am I right?

In time will edging and kegeling help? Right now I edge like twice a week even though I can last as mentioned before it's light stroking and the P0NR is always near. I always ejaculate after, but will holding the ejaculation back for a few days be better?

I have heard of vitamin B5 and chloline helps and I plan to experiment with them, here's the link:

Libido:: Natural Performance Enhancers

And I have heard SSRI's help taken at a very low dosage, e.g 5mg of generic celexa every few days and there is also a new specially adapted SSRI created specifically for treating prem ejac being released soon called 'priligy' which is already available in some countries, here's the link.

Working and treatment of Dapoxetine Prescription drug

Taken at extremely low dosages seem to work and keep side affects away. My Question is, if you started with either of these, could you use it to help you condition your unit and slowley wean off it while maintaining the benefits?

My aim is to be able to give it hard like I used to and I guess just letting this out and sharing these anxieties/fears here I will find some good advice along the way and be reassured that I will be able to have that ability once again and hope this post helps others in their similar quest. Most woman I know like it hard, I'm sure you guys know, can we, can I, please them in the way that they desire? Someone put my thoughts together and give me a confidance booster!

[Keido Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Keido]

Have you thought about trying out a Fleshlight? When I consistently used that it really increased my staying power and it's more intense than just edging so it may help you out for a more similar-to-sex feeling. They've got the "Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit" which is supposed to be designed in a way to help you feel ejaculation coming on and being able to stop before it happens.

[slanker Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close slanker]

Have you thought about trying out a Fleshlight? When I consistently used that it really increased my staying power and it's more intense than just edging so it may help you out for a more similar-to-sex feeling. They've got the "Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit" which is supposed to be designed in a way to help you feel ejaculation coming on and being able to stop before it happens.

I've looked into it, maybe somewhere down the line I will give it a shot.

[W.M.P. Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close W.M.P.]

Slanker;

The first thing for you to do (which is the same prescription for many of the issues other members have here) is to stop spending so much time in your head; the more you worry about this, the more of a chance it will have to become a self fulfilling prophesy. By spending so much mental energy on this fear, all you're doing is giving it more ammo so that in time it can materialize. I know how you feel after 3yrs of celibacy because I did go through about 4yrs of the same and it definitely fucks with your head and pummels your self-confidence. When it comes to being able to "pound long and hard", I've always been of the believe that: #1. It's purely mental. #2. It's like riding a bike; once you learn, you just never forget. The very first girl I fucked after that long & torturous spell of celibacy, got pummeled by me like she had never had before; I gave it to her for a solid 2hrs before I finally DECIDED it was enough, and it was time for me to cum. If you've been able to do "long & hard" before, there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to do it on your first lay right off the gate.

About SSRI's, I can tell you that a good buddy of mine who's been on medication for several years has been having a very tough time reaching orgasm, so I would just stay away from that. A girl's perceived ability to make you cum is as important for her satisfaction as your ability to give it to her the way she likes it. God forbid you take something to make you last longer, and after pounding her forever you find yourself having trouble with reaching orgasm, what's gonna happen is that she's probably gonna take it as a personal failure of hers and that's not good for anybody. In fact, when I started dating my present girl (after almost a year of celibacy, this time around being self-imposed) my penis was so used to my hand, that (since I had to wear condoms) it took me about a good week of romps (or maybe two) before I was able to cum with her. I made sure to explain to her what was happening all along, and when I finally came, she just exploded with joy, tears and all....because no matter what I had said, part of her couldn't help but doubt her previously unchallenged sexual prowess. So, be very careful what you get into with these pills and all cause you might end up with more than what you bargained for. If I were you, I would simply get rid of any doubt of my natural ability to give it to her "long and hard", and that's it.

[Irish&Growing Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Irish&Growing]

I wouldnt worry buddy masterbation and Vaginal sex are in my opinion two totaly different animals.If a chick wants it hard go ahead and put the screws to her but do so on yer own terms.Bang the hell out of her in nice ferocious bursts then bottom out on her and dont thrust for about 10 seconds of so kissing her neck and wispering sweet nothings in her ear and all that stuff.This should be suffient for her and you to cool yer jets down abit and then do it again.Then for the grand finale just go all out as fast,deep and hard as your body will allow and blow yer load when you think its time to finish.If she wants more than you can deliver than I guess that chick just aint for you.Believe me if ya give it yer all even though it wasnt exactly what she wanted she'll definitly fuck ya again which is always a plus in my book.Sex is 40% physical and 60% mental from my experience so if ya stimulate her mentaly first then go for the physical she'll probably cum before you do.Try and relax and all good things will come.

[kingpole Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close kingpole]

I agree with WMP.

[slanker Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close slanker]

thanks wmp, irish, thats great advice something that I believe as well but need to read over and over again and that I will! Thanks again.

[kingpole Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close kingpole]

I think what women mean is that they like the dick hard. The harder the better. You get this from improved blood circulation.

[Irish&Growing Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Irish&Growing]

And 1 more little pearl of wisdom if yer dick aint hard enough for her theres more than one function of the human tongue.Become a master of the Cunning Linquistics and you could be a 2 bump chump and they'll still want to fuck yer brains out.Im tellin ya the ladies will love ya forever.

[slanker Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close slanker]

Yea I agree with all thats been said here. Irish I definately can say the my tongue is the master. The girls meant they like it hard as in erect hard and also hard as in pumping that pussy hard as that what helps them cum, not that slow making love type but like you were saying we gotta mix and match and build it up on our own terms. I here ya and I'm with ya.

[timesbechangin Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close timesbechangin]

Listen slanker, when a girl likes it hard you give it to her hard. I think all women like it hard at some point. It all depends on the mood, the relationship, and the woman. I think all women like it soft and slow at some point as well. And many times, it's best to mix it up during a great looooong session.

You guys know what I mean

[slanker Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close slanker]

Listen slanker, when a girl likes it hard you give it to her hard. I think all women like it hard at some point. It all depends on the mood, the relationship, and the woman. I think all women like it soft and slow at some point as well. And many times, it's best to mix it up during a great looooong session.

You guys know what I mean

You took the words right out of my mouth.

[Larger Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Larger]

You said you would edge to porn. I have done so myself, it is bad. But one good thing from watching it is research, when not edging or masturbating. Don't worry so much about holding ejaculation while still inside the chick, that's extremely difficult. Kegeling is not a new thing, especially in the porn industry. A lot of guys will pull out and slap their dicks for a few seconds and they are moaning. Then they stick it back in and the fucking continues. Turns out they're edging. And the reason they fuck fast and rough is because it makes them[the men] cum faster.

I totally agree, sex is very psychological. A lot of girls wanna act like pornstars nowadays, at least the ones where I'm at do. Anyway they want it hard to know or prove that they can take it hard and that satisfaction makes them pleased and cum themselves.

You don't have to fuck a chick's brains out to make her cum. The tongue is wonderful.

[slanker Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close slanker]

You said you would edge to porn. I have done so myself, it is bad. But one good thing from watching it is research, when not edging or masturbating. Don't worry so much about holding ejaculation while still inside the chick, that's extremely difficult. Kegeling is not a new thing, especially in the porn industry. A lot of guys will pull out and slap their dicks for a few seconds and they are moaning. Then they stick it back in and the fucking continues. Turns out they're edging. And the reason they fuck fast and rough is because it makes them[the men] cum faster.

I totally agree, sex is very psychological. A lot of girls wanna act like pornstars nowadays, at least the ones where I'm at do. Anyway they want it hard to know or prove that they can take it hard and that satisfaction makes them pleased and cum themselves.

You don't have to fuck a chick's brains out to make her cum. The tongue is wonderful.

why is it bad to edge to porn?
Yes it's hard to hold ejaculation while still inside but not impossible, practice makes perfect.
In my experience some girls can't take it hard as it hurts but some are just built that way and need it to be satisfied, its psychological but it's also they way they are built.

[Larger Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Larger]

I didn't feel the need to mention what you said although I concur with almost everything; porn. I used to think this myself.

According to KP and others porn can influence erectile dysfunction. And I really value his word. He said so in my progress log.

I'm sure you could also do a search for porn in the forums and there will be some threads or posts discussing it.

The best way for me to put it. Well I think I put it like this. I was referring to porn in case some who read that were not sure.

Another way to put it is like this. Okay, some things are permanent and some things are temporary. For example you PE you will have permanent gains. If you take penis pills you will get temporary gains that will only last for as long as you take the pill, if they work at all. Same thing with porn, when you watch it sure you're stimulated but that's of what you're watching. So if you end up being with a girl who isn't as desirable as the pornstar, then you might notice a difference downstairs. Most importantly to me though is control over your erection. You shouldn't need a dirty movie in order to get you to a 10. You should be able to be like that guy from Zach and Miri Make a Porno and get an erection on command. Kegel is free, porn is, well free, but temporary. Videolength ends whereas the muscle, if you train it will outlast any pornography film. Except maybe those of veteran PEers. Haha.