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  • My Dick Is So Big....

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  1. 09-02-2013 #121
    BigO
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    I got a boner in my sleep, woke up with rings on my dick, went and turned on the TV and seen in the news that Saturn was missing.
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    Going an inch and 1/2 deeper than before
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  2. 09-02-2013 #122
    CaptainJohnson
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    My dick is so big...

    Rolling over in bed is like playing wack-a-mole with my neighbor's chimney.

    Nearby firemen occasionally grab the wrong hose.

    I have to pay property tax on it.
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    "If you want a log you need to keep a log." - Tinkerbell
    "I wish I was average height with average hand size." - thenewdude
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  3. 09-03-2013 #123
    Gspot
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    My dick is so big they made a porn film about me not being able to have sex;

    and then a sequel since they could not fit it all in the shots.
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    "Dogs bark at what they do not know ... Many fail to grasp what is right in the palm of their hand ... Lovers of wisdom must open their minds to very many things ... A wonderful harmony is created when we join together the seemingly unconnected" ~Heraclitus
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  4. 09-03-2013 #124
    CaptainJohnson
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    My stick's so big, it's got more software than your hard drive. That's right, my FAT32's twice the size of your HDD.



    Oh, computer penis humour...
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    "If you want a log you need to keep a log." - Tinkerbell
    "I wish I was average height with average hand size." - thenewdude
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  5. 09-03-2013 #125
    ino
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    My dick is so big that when lying in the sand on nudist beaches, near-sighted people approach my glans when they want a chat. (And since I am often asleep in the sun I have no clue what gossip my dick has spread around.)
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  6. 09-04-2013 #126
    Gspot
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    My dick is so big SETI rejected my membership for fear that knowledge of its existence explains alien abduction probing stories. And that the wild yet symmetrical shapes of my ejaculate explains crop circles.
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    "Dogs bark at what they do not know ... Many fail to grasp what is right in the palm of their hand ... Lovers of wisdom must open their minds to very many things ... A wonderful harmony is created when we join together the seemingly unconnected" ~Heraclitus
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  7. 09-04-2013 #127
    chineseguy
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    I don't need to PE.
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  8. 09-04-2013 #128
    BoaConstrictor
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    I wear pants in public. Don't want to get arrested for indecent exposure, due to it hanging out of my shorts. Ugh....burden.
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  9. 09-05-2013 #129
    chineseguy
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    When I hold my camera, I AM the tripod!
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  10. 09-06-2013 #130
    Gspot
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    My dick is so big it went to college for two semesters and all the courses were devoted to it, one semester abroad:

    First Semester, Abroad:

    sociology: My dick is so big I meet a girl online who invited me to fly from Europe to Oregon and I was already there.

    independent study: My dick is so big I fell asleep outside on my back and a plane crashed.

    religion: My dick is so big a phallus worshiping tribe started a civil war over it, and they all died (well, that last bit is just not funny, not funny at all).

    study abroad: My dick is so big it studied abroad on its own.

    Second Semester:

    physics: My dick is so big I rolled over on the beach one day and discovered neutrino particles deep within the earth (read a book people!).

    anatomy & physiology: My dick is so big I cannot cum on myself.

    honors work: My dick is so big when the manned mission finally reaches Mars it will already be sticky.

    US history: My dick is so big it shot Lincoln.

    ...

    college life: My dick is so big I slept in a dorm one night and everyone got laid!

    graduation: My dick is so big at graduation it gave the commencement speech and handed out diplomas all without graduating itself or even being invited to attend.
    Last edited by Gspot; 09-07-2013 at 01:25 PM.
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