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Thread: We need more rednecks!
- 06-04-2013 #1
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I was sitting on the deck thinking about the world the other night; beautiful sky, warm temp, nice dark rum with some ice. I solve all the worlds problems while I'm out there and this night was no exception. The country, and the world for that matter, seem s to be in a difficult place or in other words it sucks. I look for solutions for all the problems we face and I think I may have found it. This country needs more rednecks. Them bible carrying, shotgun toting lovers of fried chicken and freedom may be just what is needed today and of course I'll tell you why.
We got us a crime problem in this country; a poor economy makes breaking into a house to steal an inviting prospect. Rednecks have these things called shotguns. They keep them by the bed right next to the Bible. Now if you're a crook are you going to break into the home of a redneck knowing he's got his shotgun ready and if he shoots you dead in the house he'll get a grammar school named after him? No way unless you're really stupid and therefore you actually do deserve to die. Convert all those poor inner city people in apartments and give them shotguns and guess what? You won't have much breaking and entering going on will you? Hey until the stupid crooks figured out that everyone is now a redneck there will be lots of shootings which will decrease the size of the population and therefore decrease road congestion and crowded mass transit. See you already solved 2 issues; crime and traffic!
Okay we know education in this country is a mess. Some kids actually do want to go to school and learn. Others don't want to go to school but are forced to and they take up valuable time in the classroom and bring down the level of education. Wanna solve it? Put a redneck in charge! If you want to go to school and learn them books that's fine; if you don't want to go to school you don't have to but you're gonna have to get your ass out and get a job. No sitting around playing video games and living off mom and dad. School or work; your choice. Now what this does is not only improve our schools and giving us brighter people but it also puts many of those sitting on their asses out to work. What you have done is improved both the education system and the economy at the same time. Not bad.
Want immigration reform? Give it to the rednecks! Hey our border patrol agents do a good job but if I was crossing a border nothing would scare the crap out of me more than a Ford 150 pick up truck flying a confederate flag coming at me with a bunch of rednecks in the back carrying shotguns. Hell for those guys it's a sport. They might even form leagues and give prizes to the high scorers! See now immigration has been fixed as well.
Gridlock with the government in Washington? Put a redneck in charge. They ain't gonna stand for people sitting around all day doing nothing; they'll get things moving.
Foreign policy problems? Yup put a redneck in charge. The policy will now be simple; fuck em! If they take our money and don't want to be nice to us well you guessed it; fuck em! We ain't giving you any! See how long you can live without it. Hell we can live without you guys so see how long you can live without us. When you do find out that you need our money and ask for it again the second foreign policy tenet for a redneck is simple; kiss my ass! Hey when the world finds out that we got rednecks in charge don't you think they'll behave better? And God help the country that wants to get a bit rowdy with us because the "fuck em' policy does have nukes behind it and there are many countries in the world that rednecks see no purpose for.
Do you think if rednecks ran the place we'd have Occupy Wall Street types? Nope! Those guys would be hood ornaments. Every public place that wanted to put up a Christmas tree would be able to, you could pray and not get in trouble, there wouldn't be many welfare cheaters,well alive anyway, and we'd all have Nascar, barbeque, and the Allman Brothers. I say to you; what would be so bad?The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!
- 06-04-2013 #2
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That would not be bad at all. And yeah I am a red neck.
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- 06-04-2013 #3
I will say it again - Cusp for president.
Cause I'm TNT, I'm Dynamite
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- 06-04-2013 #4
☼ Wizard ☼
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been hangin around Toad & Q-zan too much.
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Looks are deceiving, mirrors don't lie.
- 06-04-2013 #5
I didn't read the title and thought you were just giving an objective descripton on how all Americans are like
I am pretty much a mellow Scandinavian... and yet I am halfway serious when I say that we could use a tiny bit of your portrayed redneck's politics.
I know that you were writing a causerie to reflect both real problems as well as challenging prejudices and narrow-mindedness, and you fooled a sucker like me to walk right onto the glue, so here it goes... About Scandinavia:
In Scandinavia everyone's who's on the wrong side of the law is unquestionable a victim and they are not responsible for any actions anymore. If I would be a random victim of a guy that shoots me dead, it is not the guy's fault. It is the society's fault. A psychologist tells the court that the man suffers from post traumatic stress after not getting the car he wanted when he was 18, and that he was temporarily insane when shooting me. The murderer claims he remember nothing from the shooting, so he eludes prison. Afterwards he feels badly treated by the trial and feels even more traumatised and victimised, so that his lawyer sues the authorities and my parents. The authorities manage to get away by only paying half a million dollars, but my parents must pay a compensation for $ 2.000.000 since they didn't bring me up teaching me to avoid bullets, and they must sell their house and cabin and take up a huge loan. That's only a fair compensation for the poor guy who's the victim of the neglection of society.
- 06-04-2013 #6
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- 06-04-2013 #7
<--- gets banjo
Well I'm a prepper, I got me a shotgun, I have a front porch.
I am building me a solar powered cabin in a remote area.01/14/12 BPEL:7.4" EG:5.0"
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- 06-04-2013 #8
Mr. Spock gives Cusp a A+ for logic.
Now about those libs that need a little edumacation---
It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood.- K.Popper
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- 06-04-2013 #9
If guns solved all those problems, we wouldn't have those problems. Rednecks are criminals just as bad as all the other disenfranchised groups in america. If we were all rednecks, yes the problems would be solved and the world would be a better place. Too bad jeebus didn't carry a 12-gauge.
I think the problem is pussies, men without balls who have to force their ideals on the world because they can't force their genitals on anyone.BPEL: 6.7-8.57" NBPEL: 6.3-8.25"
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- 06-04-2013 #10
If only we could get the United Nations to meet and deliberate on your deck, the world would be a better place to live in, especially if they brought their shot guns with them.
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