I just found out my life is directed by M. Night Shyamalan

[Ultimatepeepee]

This is a long story, but bare with me. I've also placed a 'tl:dr' at the bottom of this post.

So I was at work one day selling paper and ink and bullshit like that when suddenly this beautiful Scottish chick walked up to me and asked me where to find the laptop chargers. I'm like, damn, this girl is really good looking and for some reason she seems interested in me. Also, I live in the Midwest, so hearing anything other than a Midwestern accent is pretty rare. Anyway I was in the middle of helping another customer and couldn't chat so another salesman ended up helping her out and I think I missed my opportunity, but lo and behold this girl walks out into my department to find me and has a conversation with me. We kinda click and end up trading phone numbers. At the time I was in a complicated relationship with my sort of ex at the time so I didn't call her. After a couple of weeks I end my shitty relationship and start to think, "Well, damn. I should have called that Scottish chick (I'll call her Rebecca) when I had the chance."

Anyway, a couple of days pass and one day while I'm working, I turn a corner to see if there were any customers who needed assistance when there I see standing before me, Rebecca with a "Why the fuck didn't you call me" expression on her face. I fumble around and tell her that the last couple of weeks were rough and that I would get in touch with her soon. I felt like an idiot and was sure that she wouldn't reply if I texted her, but I decided to give it a shot.

I texted her a couple of days later and she wanted to hang out with me. She came over to my place that night. One thing led to another and we had (really great) sex. She got a call around midnight and left in a hurry. She said it was her roommate, and that she had to go now. I immediately thought, "shit... she has a boyfriend". I shrugged it off and thought maybe I was wrong, but it wasn't until after I had sex with her a second time, she got a phone call, and had to leave in a rush that I got the hint. This girl is taken, and is sleeping around. I told her that if she is in a relationship then I didn't want to complicate things, and we agreed to stop seeing each other. It sucked, because I really did like her, we talked about her life growing up and shared stories and everything. She told me that she was currently a pole dance instructor (score), and as proof she did in fact shake her ass very well. She also said that she never actually was a stripper, which I also saw as a plus. Needless to say I was reluctant to get rid of her.

About a week later I texted her hoping that maybe she got her 'complicated' relationship sorted out. She seemed responsive and more eager to hang out than before. That text was sent yesterday and we planned for her to come over tonight. It was great. We watched Stepbrothers in my bedroom while snacking on Oreos. I started to get a little frisky and noticed that she didn't wear a bra. Huge turn on. We start fooling around. I had to pause the movie because Will Ferrell teabagging a drumset is distracting. We, again, have great sex.

I'm lying next to her. We start talking about deep shit like our fears and such. I can tell that she likes me and all, but... guess what happens next. She gets the phone call. "Fuck" I think. So she is still going out with this guy, I go over and sit in my computer chair as she is getting ready to leave, but something is keeping her from going. I get up and walk over to her and plant a kiss on her lips.

She sits there for a bit and sighs. "Fuck, I can't do this anymore. I have a secret. I'm not Scottish. (She immediately drops the accent) I'm from like 10 miles away from here, born and raised."

She explains in her now perfectly Midwestern accent that she is part of a club, or acting troupe or something vague, and that her goal was to try and find someone and trick them into believing she was whatever character she was playing for an extended period of time. She talked about how other people went out as babysitters and tried other approaches. She apologized and said that she let things get out of hand. She went on to explain that the guy she lived with was like 30 years old (she is only 19), doesn't charge her rent, and that he basically pays for everything she needs. She also explained that she was in fact a stripper at least for some time, and I can only imagine that's how she ended up with this fucking creep.

... I'm totally floored. We say goodbye. She leaves, and I'm left so fucking confused. First of all I have no idea if I should believe anything she said, or believe as she said, that everything was true except for where she was from and the accent. It's so weird having a conversation with someone, getting to know them and then suddenly their persona changes and they tell you that a lot of what you know about them is a lie. Part of me knew something was off to begin with, I could tell she was lying about something, but wow... just fucking wow.

So this happened about 3 hours ago and I have no idea what to think. I can hardly believe this is for real.


tl:dr - Found out the person I was banging, and really starting to grow attached to was basically lying to me about her entire life story and was also dating someone over a decade older than her.

[BoaConstrictor]

Wtf kind of story. Omg
Dang dude, that sounds depressing and all, but I don't think it's something to be that upset about.
So what, you banged her a couple times while she was going around with an acting fetish.
She doesn't sound like girlfriend/wife material anyways.

Just chalk it as one of those strange experiences in life.

[camaro]

At least you had good sex.Do you feel used?

[namsokiek]

That is one hell of a story. I'm going to assume that you didn't break up with your other girl just to go out with this one...it sounded like things were headed that way regardless.

word of advice:

never get personally involved with an actor/actress...you'll never be able to figure out whether they are acting or not.

However, if you're willing to get some action with her on the side...

[BoaConstrictor]

Don't forget how M Night Shyamalan movies end... Horrible

[billybrown]

At least you got a good lay out of it... stop worrying about it and onto the next one!

[NCGUY1972]

lol you had a good time and gained some life experience sounds like she enjoyed it too

[Ultimatepeepee]

I'm glad I got on to read these replies. I just broke up with my first girlfriend then this happens basically immediately after so I was really starting to feel like shit. I mean, I guess there isn't any reason for me to feel bad, it's just I can't help but build really strong bonds with people. Maybe its because I've only been in a couple of relationships so far, but even losing this feels like someone I know died. Especially since technically the innocent young woman I thought I was having a budding relationship with, bragging about (I'm a salesman at a computer store. Pussy can be rare in these parts.), and could hardly believe my luck to have slept with was in fact just an illusion. I do feel used, and last night lying alone in the fetal position I felt like a naive child of about 8 finding out there is no Santa or no God (not sure if losing a gift or salvation is a more accurate comparison.)

I didn't break up with my last girl just to be with this one, but I definitely was hoping to rely on this as insurance. It's funny, last night while she was still Scottish, she asked me what I was afraid of. I told her amongst other things that I was afraid of being alone. Go figure.

I won't pursue her anymore. Although I'm still attached to her, I know she isn't good for me. Like all M Night Shyamalan movies... This one doesn't need a sequal.

p.s If this story wasn't true I would have had a perfect opportunity to troll you guys with the Fresh Prince theme when I explained where she was 'born and raised'... On a playground is where I spent most of my days. Lol.

[TacoBell]

Awesome story! Sucks you got led on, but you did get laid out of the deal. Maybe keep her on the team for a little while longer till something else comes along?

[NCGUY1972]

Getting attached and developing feelings hurts when you lose the person but the good thing is you are young & single and you can go meet another and start the fun all over again! and again! and again! until you meet the right one and the two of you know you want to be together forever. Until then enjoy man.