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Burty's confessional

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  • Burty's confessional

    Welcome gym brethren to Father Burty's confessional, here you can unburden your souls of your mischievous wrongdoing, feel free to share your stories of the naughtiest things you have done, whether it be in revenge or just because you decided to be a bugger. I'll kick it off:

    After winding me up and making it clear she didn't think I was good enough for her daughter, not to mention trying repeatedly to tell me I'm bad father, my mother in law got on my nerves so much that I decided to start moving things around her home. For example: moving her glasses into the fridge, placing the T.V. remote into the microwave, thinking this would be highly amusing to watch her think she is cracking up and watch my father in law think this too.

    I now see the error of my ways, I absolve myself of my formerly wicked ways, as penance I said five hail Mary's and four our Father's, even though I couldn't quite remember all the words. Amen Burty you are forgiven
    "Those who know others have knowledge,
    those who know themselves have insight.
    Those who master others have force,
    those who master themselves have strength". - Lao Tzu

  • #2
    When I was a teen, I was arrested for punching this bitch in the face through her mans truck window during the weekend cruise. As it was the summer time, the windows were open and she was on the passenger side. I looked for cop cars, and didn't see any so I went for it. Little did I know, There was a cop on a bike across the street that witnessed everything. Oh, did I mention that I had just taken a few hits of acid.......

    Anyways, I was trippin' out at the police station watching the summer Olympics not handcuffed or anything and was allowed to get water from the water fountain whenever I wanted. I thought I was going to get busted, but they never noticed.

    As I was the "good child", they were surprised that it was me that they had to pick up.

    It could have been really bad. I'm just glad I was able to keep it cool.


    Lesson learned though. After that, I always watched the sidewalks as well as the roads. lol.


    Boy, I have grown up a lot since then.
    I will never apologize for being me. People should apologize for asking me to be anything else.

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    • #3
      Oh you were bad a wild-child.

      Demons be gone!

      You are healed!

      Great story Mrs.W4I thanks for sharing, any other sinners want to confess?
      "Those who know others have knowledge,
      those who know themselves have insight.
      Those who master others have force,
      those who master themselves have strength". - Lao Tzu

      Comment


      • #4
        Really no-one has any amusing sins to confess?

        Lying is a sin, go say five hail Mary's - I went to a catholic school
        "Those who know others have knowledge,
        those who know themselves have insight.
        Those who master others have force,
        those who master themselves have strength". - Lao Tzu

        Comment


        • #5
          I guess that we are the only brave ones on here!

          Come on people it's all private and we won't judge you!!
          I will never apologize for being me. People should apologize for asking me to be anything else.

          Comment


          • #6
            Hmm. Seems I don't have a good story to share, and I don't really have anything to "confess", either. I make my sins because it's the right thing to do. Without them, I might have to be the one throwing the first stone.
            -- If it ain't rock hard, then it ain't worth doing

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            • #7
              It's all private? Of course PEgym is all private! Get it? Lol

              I will make my confession in the near future, as I will need to. But not yet, my sin isn't over.
              You never slow down, you never grow old!

              Comment


              • #8
                Not much of a story but considering we're on PE, when I was 14 and on work experience I was put with a workshop teacher as an assistant. We were cutting wood for some class next in an empty room and he had to go check something, he was gone for a good 15 minutes and I was bored. So I did something I never would have dreamed of and took my dick out and jerked one out in the middle of this classroom, next to a currently full and running lesson and not knowing when the teacher would get back. Not discrete and lightly jerking it through my pocket, but took the entire thing out and wanked for 5 minutes.

                Looking back I don't know why but I did and didn't get caught, although he walked in not long after and my boner was still retreating.
                Currently : 7.5" x 5.5"

                Short-Term : 8" x 6"

                Long-Term : 9" x 6"

                Comment


                • #9


                  When I was kid, I always wanted to drive, one day I found a key that I "thought" would fit into my fathers car, he was out of town, so I went to the garage and tried out the key, it would only go half way, then it would turn in the ignition, little did I know that the ignition would not start the car, but stop working altogether.


                  A second time, I got the real key, the car was outside the garage door, and I thought to myself I could take it out for a ride and return it before my father wakes from his nap, it started alright, but then I slammed it into the door hard, the car was fine, but the garage door was, lets say, not at its best, luckily my father wasn't so mad, I guess I was pale enough for him to care about the car at the time.

                  A real man never hurts a woman. The woman came out of a man’s rib, not from his feet to be walked on, and not from his head to be superior, but from his side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved. - Mrs. workin_4_it

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                  • #10
                    Gah. After some thinking, I realize all my sins are boring...

                    I drink. I smoke. I curse at politicians. I sometimes covet my neighbor's wife. But only while imagining we're in a parallel universe in which I met her first. Is there any hope for me, father bassy?
                    -- If it ain't rock hard, then it ain't worth doing

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Well done MrB8 and Klaxton!

                      Praise the lord the sinners are healed!, great stories gents, as penance for your wicked ways MrB8 you should give your car keys to an enthusiastic child and Klaxton you must read the bible and wash your hands.

                      Turtler and Jay with names like those you are probably sinning right now aren't you, I will pray for you.
                      "Those who know others have knowledge,
                      those who know themselves have insight.
                      Those who master others have force,
                      those who master themselves have strength". - Lao Tzu

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by turtler View Post
                        Gah. After some thinking, I realize all my sins are boring...

                        I drink. I smoke. I curse at politicians. I sometimes covet my neighbor's wife. But only while imagining we're in a parallel universe in which I met her first. Is there any hope for me, father bassy?
                        There is little hope for you, you are on par with Father Burty, have you considered priesthood?
                        "Those who know others have knowledge,
                        those who know themselves have insight.
                        Those who master others have force,
                        those who master themselves have strength". - Lao Tzu

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by burtybasset View Post
                          There is little hope for you, you are on par with Father Burty, have you considered priesthood?
                          For the longest time... until I discovered the celibacy clause. No sale
                          -- If it ain't rock hard, then it ain't worth doing

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Forgive me Father for I have sinned.
                            Growing up I constantly looked for fights and I always made sure it was with males, so that they got in trouble since no one believed a girl could be bad. Of course at the time I was a martial arts brown belt and boxing light weight champ with anger issues.

                            In my freshman year of high school on my second day of school I got in trouble. You see in Puerto Rico they have a hazing ritual for incoming students. The seniors target a freshman and surround them, they proceed to make them do embarazzing things or else they egg them. I knew about this practice because my brother was already a Junior in High School. I had decided I was not playing the game, so I brought my own bag of eggs just in case and I avoided getting caught the first day. The second day I was not as lucky and the group got me. I looked at the male leader that asked me to dance like an Egyptian and told him, he could dance like an Egyptian. While he got ready to egg me. I reached into my back pack and egged him. Him and all the seniors were in shock that I have dared to do this. I took advantage of their shock and ran out of the group. The principal called me to the office and was going to punish me. I told him go ahead, I want to see you explain to my mom, why is OK for the Seniors to egg me but not for me to retaliate. I got a slap on the wrist for that one.

                            Next I broke another student's braces of his face when he decided the best way to show interest was to grab me, throw me against the lockers and kiss me (Junior year of high school) by then the principal knew I was trained and I got suspended for week. My mom cursed out the Principal for suspending me when he had started it and I was defending my virtue (she did not know about my other scrapes).

                            I am much better now Uncle Sam worked the anger off me in the US Army but I still vote for me in a fight.
                            ​Mrs. L4M
                            BDSM Safe, Sane & Consensual
                            Hubby's Routine

                            BPEL 6.5 +1.5 ~>8.0 02/2013
                            MEG. 4.7 +1.3 ~>6.0 03/2013

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by MrsLooking4more View Post
                              I am much better now Uncle Sam worked the anger off me in the US Army but I still vote for me in a fight.
                              Whoa. I would vote for you, too, no doubt. L4M's got a live grenade on his hands. I would envy him, had envy not been a sin
                              -- If it ain't rock hard, then it ain't worth doing

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