Anxiety/meeting people...

[Jamesol1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jamesol1]

Ok so when I meet a man I simple shake his hand. With women doing that I think is considered weird... if I don't know them well/at all it's also I think weird If I hug them? This may seem really stupid but I'm fairly young... family would often take the mick when I was younger so i almost have a phobia of doing such things...

My logic is telling me just smile and say hi... although one time when I was saying bye to this women I hadn't spoke to but was within the table I was eating on holiday who my family knew came up and kissed me goodbye.... you know I don't want to creep out women if from now on I just hug whoever I meet or say bye too... but I don't want to come across as a dick and not wanting to be friendly to people.

[TheGreatDivider Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close TheGreatDivider]

If you're not comfortable with touch don't even try to touch them. Women will pick up on your nervousness and become uncomfortable with you trying to touch them, but if you resist touching them that won't happen.

You're not alone here. I can't stand touching people I don't know especially women, so I don't. I keep a little healthy distance which seems to make them want to touch me more. Rather I don't mind them touching me so long as I don't feel smothered.

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

How old are you and what country do you come from?

[Jamesol1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jamesol1]

18 UK. I don't mind touching/hugging etc... it's more then I don't know when one should hug or just say bye to someone... if it's family it's ok I hug etc. But if it's people you may not know to well then..

[Jamesol1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jamesol1]

I just wouldn't want to be the one initiating a hug which someone may refuse or not want. I'm fairly tall at 6'1 so hugging feels often clumsy awkward to me. Never had a girlfriend so... I mean haven't had much 'practise'... i know this sounds pathetic but I'm trying to fix it!

[TheGreatDivider Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close TheGreatDivider]

So give side hugs or church hugs instead of regular hugs.

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

I suppose it depends on the circumstances...if it's formal like a business associate and whatnot I just shake their hand gently and keep eye contact. If it's less formal like a social gathering and whatnot a gentle, friendly hug does no harm.

I think you're worrying too much about what other people think of you and maybe you should reverse that and have a mindset of what you think of them.

Maybe you need to get laid and learn to relax. The more you think about things that make you anxious the worse they get. At the end of the day nobody cares that much, just be yourself mate. If some people think your a bit "creepy" tell them to "jog on" in your own mind.

Enjoy life...you only get one and you're only 18!

[TheGreatDivider Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close TheGreatDivider]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcYXBJstStM

[jockinthebox Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2015PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close jockinthebox]

Being socially intimidated at 18 is not that uncommon, IMO. I was always an extrovert and very confident even when I was a teen, so I never experienced this; however there are good organizations available to help you learn great social skills. Here in the US, Toastmasters comes to mind. I'm sure there are many others, and I'd wager there's some equivalent to Toastmasters in the UK. Google search the topic to find them. Becoming socially confident and being able to discern subtle cues from others is what these organizations teach. They provide a valuable service that pays dividends in business as well as your personal relationships, and are well worth a membership for a few years, IMO.