Locker room (b)lather / we're talkin' sports!

[BigO]

Redwing and Wolverines is my passion. Can't wait for Harbaugh'S first season.

[longerlastingnoob]

Unless your willing to say that with skates on your just chirping.

Men play hockey, everything else is just a game.

Hold on..... skates are on.. just doing a pirouette aaaand ye whatever I said before.

[BigO]

Hold on..... skates are on.. just doing a pirouette aaaand ye whatever I said before.

Lol, nicely played

[aBone2pick]

How can you get excited about whether rugby or football is more intense when sports like UFC exist? I've seen some epic rugby injuries, but I've never seen someone get knocked out in the first 30 seconds of a match from a kick to the face.

Since I'm beating around the bush, I should be more direct. You are all wimps.

Ronda Rousey could hand any football or rugby player their teeth in a plastic cup.

[longerlastingnoob]

How can you get excited about whether rugby or football is more intense when sports like UFC exist and have someone get knocked out in the first 30 seconds of a match.

I can Google that and watch it on YouTube while I'm on the shitter. We have very different ideas of intense.

[Jaw Breaker]

Ronda Rousey could hand any football or rugby player their teeth in a plastic cup.

That's being a bit overzealous. She's not going to be tossing around any 6'5" 340 pound men anytime soon.

[BigO]

How can you get excited about whether rugby or football is more intense when sports like UFC exist? I've seen some epic rugby injuries, but I've never seen someone get knocked out in the first 30 seconds of a match from a kick to the face.

Since I'm beating around the bush, I should be more direct. You are all wimps.

Ronda Rousey could hand any football or rugby player their teeth in a plastic cup.

I would let her handle me too. She's hot

[BigO]

Intense is game 7 of a Stanley Cup final in the 2nd overtime watching your team try and kill a penalty.

Intense is 4th and goal at the 1 yard line with 2 ticks on the clock trailing by 6.

Intense is the look on my wife's face when we are not heading to her sisters birthday just yet because the Michigan-Ohio state game has run longer than expected.

[longerlastingnoob]

Intense is the look on my wife's face.

The times when you'd actually rather be in the ring with Ronda.

[jockinthebox]

GOOD MORNING SPORTS FANS! Anybody remember that old saying that starts off "The best laid plans?"...Well, my plans were to incite a riot with a post at midnight, but about 11:30 the GF came home a little tipsy and VERY HORNY from having a few cocktails after work with friends, so my plans got "laid aside" and I got" LAID", INSTEAD! So everybody got a 10 hour "reprieve", compliments of my GF! But without further adieu, here goes.....

We'll try to keep this a more general indictment of college football on the DIV 1, conference level, with just a few mentions of the more "outstandingly outrageous" teams scattered about my commentary. We'll begin on the "left coast" with the PAC-12, "That PU$$Y ATHLETE'S CONFERENCE" and work our way cross-country! Ahhh, the PAC-12, a "revamped expanded and reinvented" group of once proud teams who've become also-rans in America's history of college football. I'm talkin' (once-proud) USC, UCLA, even Washington, but lately, there's Stanford?, CAL, and the "fairy-tails" from Oregon (LOL)! Come-on guys, football's for jocks, it's not a "fashion-statement"! This year I hear they're trading their cleats for patent-leather pumps to accentuate their pearl necklaces and "booty-shorts"! If the NCAA would let them, they'd all be passing their purses, instead of the pigskin in this league! Get REAL! And for everybody's health, keep plenty of condoms in the locker rooms!

Then there's those orphan teams way up in the NW, the leftovers from the WAC (Wanna-be Athletes Club) that NOBODY wanted! Geez, these teams don't even qualify under weakened NCAA rules to get a bid to the play-offs, regardless of their record!...I mean WHO CARES?

Down in the SW, there's the "BIG-12"....talk about STUPID, they can't even COUNT! There's only 10 teams! It should be called "THE TEXAS LEAGUE", since only OK & OK st. aren't in TX. Oh and speaking of OK, OK ST. & TX , these once-proud programs have fallen equally on hard times, not unlike USC & UCLA, with the comeuppance of TCU & BAYLOR?....GO FIGURE!? Let's just dissolve this disaster and merge the "qualifiers into the PAC-12 & SEC. The rest of this illegitimate litter, can join the WACo's non-qualifiers up North.

Speaking of the SEC, here's a lopsided group of teams divided East & West. I call them the Semi-Erect Conference. In the west, yes there's some testosterone, but the East?....well let's just say "E" is for estrogen. So you end up with a "SEMI", and we all know that just won't get you any satisfaction. Yes, there's America's biggest rivalry game here, AL vs. Auburn. Annually, every single redneck on the continent gathers (or at least gathers in their living room) to watch who will earn the rights to poison trees or buy new TV antennas for the opponents trailer-homes this year! Again, GO FIGURE!....on second thought, DON"T BOTHER!

Next there's B1G, or B10, a conference who shares the same math deficiency with the BIG 12, only in the opposite direction. There are 12 teams here, divided North & South. They decided, following Oregon's lead, to get "cutesy-feminine" with the league title. There's the "Leaders " & "Legends" (subtitled for the divisions) both of which are filled with losers, save for a couple of dominant teams like OSU (South) & (maybe) WI "cheese-heads" (North). I say maybe, 'cause depending upon MI, or MSU that's debatable. In any case, everybody else in this conference couldn't beat the Little Sisters of the Blind on any given Saturday. Filled with populous states, you'd think this conference could field some decent football teams, but alas, that's NOT the case. The old "power-house" teams like MI have fallen on hard times, and had more impotent coaches lately than jockstraps in their locker room. And any conference that's dominated by a team with a mascot that's a TREE-NUT, ("Buck-eye"), well...you get the picture. The rest of the country will just play some football, while you guys play with you your "NUTS".

The ACC, aka "the basketball league" provides some annual entertainment. Not necessarily in the quality of football played, but more in newspaper headlines about the antics of their players (Jamis Winston, anyone?) or which team can keep the longest sustained cheating scandal (NC). Historically a basketball league, this group with an "occasional contender" in football, pretty much spends the fall of the year pooling their funds in preparation to "purchase" the best "amateur" basketball players available in HS, who stay maybe 2 years before bailing to the NBA, for $$$. You won't find too many "rabid fans" here with the obvious exception of FSU, aka, "Free Shoes/Seafood University", "Felony-State", among others, just take your pick.

Finally we have left in the NE, the old has-been football of the Big (Y)East (think vaginal infection) what little there is left of it, and the Ivy-League. Another couple of conferences that have long-ago seen their football days in the sun. Full of tradition, yes, (Harvard vs Yale) but without quality athletic talent to match their quality educational standards; or a bid to any national championship playoff opportunity. so, "nuff said!

I'll let you fans begin the trash-talking, gnashing of teeth, name calling, and seething at each other's remarks now. Just don't shoot the messenger (please) and don't give each other your addresses, to avoid letter-bombs or worse arriving by mail or in person (God Forbid). Finally, please "try" to watch your language, too (F-bombs, etc) and remember, it's all just a "GAME"....NOT! Have a SAFE & FUN-FILLED FOOTBALL SEASON, EVERYONE! - Jock