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Life is bad right now, looking forward to making it better!

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  • Life is bad right now, looking forward to making it better!

    I found this website several years ago when I was a teenager. Dont really know why I didnt post, I turned 22 a few days ago and Im tired of living like this and want things to change.

    Time for a s*** sad story and I dont want sympathy, just solutions! I want to make things right!

    I grew up in a hellish childhood filled with abuse and violence. This led to a very short period of juvenile delinquency at the age of 12-13.

    By 9th grade, I developed essential tremor, hair started to fall out and I had excessive anxiety. Ive had girls interested in me and they wanna be my girlfriend(at the time), but the anxiety caused me to miss out on everything. I cant hug anyone and ive never had my first kiss.

    Lately things have gotten really bad, the anxiety led to social isolation on and off for 5 years that lasted for months especially after the girl I loved broke my heart. Last may, I attempted to kill myself because life was just unbearable and thankfully I stopped just in the nick of time.

    At the age of 21 I developed Reactive Arthritis and its sucked the joy out of life for me. I have recovered from it somewhat(ReA is not like rheumatoid arthritis, its self-limiting and might*** go away eventually)

    The isolation led me to get addicted to gaming and porn, I absolutely hate living like this and I want to make things better.

    Also I think I have a problem down there! Phimosis type 3, Im embarassed to see a doctor plus I dont think I can afford to right now, arthritis treatment is expensive for me as it is, the arthritis sure does make everything worse with recurring balanitis, conjunctivitis and fatigue.

    The things I wanna achieve in the following 2-3 years are:

    1 - Lose 8 kg of weight(not overweight but it will help with the sh*t body image and ease stress on joints)
    2 - Get back to college
    3 - See a physiotherapist and slowly go back to the gym
    ------
    4 - Get arthritis under control(so as to improve quality of life and stop the freaking balanitis)
    5 - SERIOUSLY get a grip on the porn addiction, I wanna quit cold-turkey but I failed so many times before, I need advice on this
    The porn might be affecting my EQ. My erections are screwed up, last I measured it was 5 inches(a few years ago), now its down to 4.1-4.2!
    6 - Go see a doc for Phimosis(or maybe.. you guys have a solution for it, its embarassing)
    ------
    7 - See a psychiatrist when I make some more money, I obviously have problems in the head, I might be having depression(I hate this word) or something. The anxiety makes life unbearable when it peaks, at one point of time.. things got so bad that I kept looking at my tires when I came home to make sure there was no blood marks, Id have to go back and make sure I didnt hit anyone or I wouldnt be able to sleep. Im sure all of this stemmed from the physical and mental abuse I faced as a little kid but it belongs in the childhood, it isnt fair for that garbage to ruin my adulthood.
    -----
    8 - Maybe meet a nice girl and conquer the personal space problem, have my first kiss and hug people in general without feeling uncomfortable.
    9 - Improve my EQ and maybe get to 7 inches in a few years? This doesnt really matter but its a bonus if it happens.

    Where do I start? Is PE even safe with phimosis, balanitis and arthritis medication? I know I have a lot on my plate but I can do it

  • #2
    Well, I'm glad you came here. We're more than happy to try to help you through your troubles and share our life experiences. There are manual ways to deal with phimosis, the foreskin forum may be able to better assist you there. Seeing a psychiatrist would be of enormous benefit, it's worth it if you financially make it work. If not, there are plenty of support groups for most of the issues you have been dealing with, it can really help to speak of these things frankly in a group in a real world setting. Things get better and we'll help you where we can. Good luck, and again, welcome!
    Starting (20 JUL 2012)
    BPFSL: 7.5"
    BPEL: 6.75"
    EG: 4.75"
    Current (8/3/17)
    BPFSL: 8.7"
    BPEL: 8.1"
    MEG: 5.5"
    BEG: 5.5"

    Short Term Goal:
    8.25 BPEL
    5.75 MEG

    Comment


    • #3
      Thanks for sharing Being22. I have lived a somewhat similar life. See the doctor. Never be embarrassed about your body with a doctor particularly. Tell him and listen to him from a clinical point of view. Not a it's my body point of view.
      Please no matter how find the money to seek therapy. It can change your life and give yu a fighting chance. You will need to focus on PTSD problems. As well as others.

      During one of my severe beatings my scrotum was ripped open in the 6th grade. My dad refused to take me to a doctor. So now I am in danger of losing my right testicle from the scarring. I say this to illustrate things are better dealt with sooner than later.

      You can begin the process of expanding your foreskin manually. Keep gentlybworking to stretch it everyday.

      Join us on the AP90 where we work together to kick porno out of our lives.

      Be strong my brother. Love yourself. Thank you for sharing.
      ALL THE WAY WITH GOOD OLE JAY!

      Comment


      • #4
        Welcome to the forum, and thanks for your honesty in this post!

        The following links should be of assistance to you in getting started:

        Please Read First

        Phimosis (aka Tight Foreskin): Treatment Options

        The Detraining Effect: Understanding and Reversing Negative Habits To Improve Erection Quality and Sexual Confidence

        The best of luck in your endeavors!
        Want a FREE Month of Coaching? PM or email me for details- or CLICK HERE

        The MeCoach Male Enhancement Coaching Service- For All of Your Male Enhancement Needs

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