Please help, I fell into the trap

[Jaeger98]

Greetings pegym users, long post i'm really sorry
- Brief introduction: male 22 yo I love laughing and making jokes is my best quality. I'm virgin never kissed before- religious beliefs and personal conviction - athletic body nice beard above average penis and very girthy, steady job and I have my own car. All those features but I can't manage to love myself, i get compliments easily every day but i find myself ugly I see myself having a small penis , all the things that I achieved in my life so far and I feel like I've done nothing, I'm not grateful and I always want more.
- Sexually: like I said before I'm virgin I live in a community where sex is a taboo thing and shouldn't be discovered/talked until marriage ( i agree with that if truly your wife is the love of your life she should be the first one to have sex with ) anyway so discovered porn when i hit puberty and i used to masturbate everyday to it, so I reached a time where I don't enjoy porn and tell myself why i'm not the one who's banguing the girl and why i'm the spectator. I quited porn now i'm over 6 months of quitting but I have zero confidence at sex I have a big performance anxiety. My sexual health is great I have morning woods i masturbate regularly i'm always horny when I ejaculate I stay hard, but when I meet a girl for a date I have shortness of breath my hearth beats fast and I have anxiety and I'm falling on the trap of performance anxiety which i'm afraid it will ruin my marriage,
- Q1: why when i'm solo i'm super horny but when i meet a girl i like for a date I'm chill and composed but sexually anxious ?
-Q2: how to overcome that?
-Q3: how to deal with performance anxiety when I could not pick up girls and have one night stand to test myself?
-Q4: I'm trying full breathing and meditation for 3 weeks but can't see a progress, are they other methods to try?
Thank you and i'm really desperate for answers so please feel free to answer and ask for further details.
Cheers.

[Dangler]

My suggestion, is to look deep inside, to see if you can identify what is driving you to think/act in certain ways.
This may need someone good in counseling.

What happens when you get your feelings hurt ?
What are you doing to keep a protective shell around you so you do not risk emotional pain ?
What happens when you get embarrassed ?

It is conversations discussing things like this, with a trusted individual, that can help identify/uncover traits that do not help you, in the big picture. Not only that, but you can learn how to master your emotions, feelings, reactions, understanding of your self and of others.

You got to grab the steering wheel of life and quit sitting in the back seat, riding around as a passenger.

I think you can do this, and do it extremely successfully.

Oh, welcome to the forum !


Meanwhile, our community of nice people will add in their thoughts !

[WreckingBalls]

Get the book: Six Pillars of Self-Esteem and look into trying different supplements for anxiety such as ashwagandha,magnesium, L-Theanine, Kava, etc. Once you start having sex fairly regularly your anxiety in that department will disappear or lessen greatly.

[Big Al]

Welcome to the forum!