My story and help needed

[Schmendrick]

So hello everyone. I am 23 years old and I have always felt my dick wasn't big. First I thought it was because of porn but then I measured and I was right. I was 5.7 inches in length and only 4.3 in girth. But I wouldn't do anything about it if...I hadn't suffered from ED and PE. I first noticed erectile problems when I was around 16/17. I could get it up and stay erect for 10 minutes lets say but my erect was always at around 70% which made my dick looks even thinner. And on top of that I needed constant stimulation so when I was putting condom on with my GF I lost erection that 15 seconds.
I was desperate, our sex life was ruined even more by the fact that it was over in like 2 minutes.

We broke up after almost 4 years out of which we hadn't had sex for almost a year and half. I was in depression every time I thought about sex with her and she just stopped caring after awhile and I don't blame her.

Now, I decided to do something about it. I researched internet for almost half a year until I decided to give PE a go. And boy. In first four months I gained an inch of length and some small girth in my glans too (shaft is around 4.4 and glans is 4.8). My routine was just usual. I was jelqing for 15 minutes 4-5 times a week and doing stretches for 10 minutes before jelqing.
Then it all went downhill. For next 3 months I not only haven't gained but I lost 0.2 inch in length because I didn't have time to PE due to work and finishing my bachelor's degree.
I decided to continue with as much passion as I started with half a year ago but it was to no improvement.


Let me explain: I grew tired of jelqing because it is all fucking messy, my laptop is messy, my hands are messy, every time you jelq you have to shower etc and I just couldn't afford to jelq for 30 minutes every day just to change my routine.
I decided to go for girth a little more. I got a bathmate and a clamp while started stretching for 50 minutes every single day. I gained back my 0.2 inches in length (current size is 6.7 ilength and 4.4 shaft girth, 4.8 glans).
My problem though is my erection. I can't get erect without porn or stay erect without porn and while I do clamping or use bathmate, I just loose erection slowly.

I used clamp three days in a row but none of these three days I managed to stay erect in clamp no matter how much I tightened it. In 4 minutes I just lost erection and when I tried it again I just couldn't stay hard.
With bathmate, when I take my dick out it is still hard but it goes back to my normal state in like 30 seconds.

I am fucking desperate to be honest. My ED is stopping me from PEing so I have to watch porn all the time while PEing which I think causes even more ED because I am just tired of watching porn two times a day.
I feel like I should solve my ED problems first as it is clearly not in my head but physiological. When I sit I have no problem but when I lay on my back it just shrinks and when I stand it also goes away. I feel like impotent, like 70y old guy and it makes me anxious around women even more, especially when I know they had a lot of guys in bed...I instantly know I'm gonna be the worst lover they had. I went from someone who loved sex to someone who can't even imagine having sex with woman anymore.

What should I do? Should I try O-bends and pumping without erection, or stick to jelqing...or should I first find out why I have ED? I'm not even talking about my Premature ejaculation. No wonder I cum so quick when I'm always afraid I'll loose my erection a couple of minutes....everything started with ED.

Please, I need help, tips, anything. My goal is to go to 7.5 length and 5.5 girth. I don't need an anaconda, I just want this and solve my ED and PE but have no idea how.

[southernprince]

I would recommend quitting porn 100% until you see improvement on your erections, and focus on other types of exercises that don't require strong erections. You can still exercise with stretches or jelqing (on lower levels of erection). When you notice an improvement, you can go back to clamping and other girth exercises, even with the use of porn, but I would suggest at least 2 months of absence from porn.

You'll still have erections when you quit porn, so you can do some edging (works for PreE and ED) and even some squeezes. Try not to ejaculate during edging sessions.

[Schmendrick]

Thank you. I decided to focus more on touches and thoughts, max some photos to boost my fantasies and natural erection. To be honest, I'm getting bored by porn and have to change it while PEing to even keep me entertained. My ED combined with watching porn to be able to do PE made my problem even worse. This not meant to bash PE, it helped me a lot, just stating how things are.

[not2big]

It would be best to consult with a urologist specializing in male sexual dysfunction. It’s best to find the cause rather than treat the symptoms.

[Catarro]

I'm 24 and I have the same problem as you, it's all on your head, it's anxiety.

I can't get hard on command just by stroking my dick like I used to do, but I can last more than 3 hours in bed.
Also I can cum whenever I want to.

If you have to use porn, just use porn.
But make sure you have sex and get aroused with your GF or your fuckbuddy

[southernprince]

Thank you. I decided to focus more on touches and thoughts, max some photos to boost my fantasies and natural erection. To be honest, I'm getting bored by porn and have to change it while PEing to even keep me entertained.

You're getting bored of porn because you've watched too much of it and now you can only be aroused by the best of it (whatever that is for you). Get off porn for a week and you'll be getting boners while scrolling down your Instagram feed.

Anxiety can cause ED, but it's not the only factor and it certainly is not all on your head.

[Big Al]

Welcome to the forum!

The following should be helpful: The Detraining Effect: Understanding and Reversing Negative Habits To Improve Erection Quality and Sexual Confidence

If your emotional issues are such that you don't feel you can manage them on your own, please seek out a qualified professional for assistance.

[BreakfastSausage]

I was born in the 1980's and I can remember when a decent quality still photograph of a naked lady took at least ten seconds to load. Then internet got wayyy faster and the quality and selection of videos now allows for extreme dopamine release in the brain.

Quitting porn and being conscious about the type of visuals/stimulus that are entering your brain is very useful and something I've struggled with for years.

You are younger so your brain is more malleable and you can choose to quit porn before it gets worse.

Besides, quitting porn can give you more confidence and when you have more confidence you have less anxiety.

I will admit that I still succumb to a binge here and there, but my goal for sex is to connect as deep as possible with the real woman. If I use porn, then it's like I have to fantasize about something else when I'm inside of her.

Rather, just be in the moment.

It's all you have.

[8IsBetterThan7]

Yo

I am the same age as you and also suffer from ed, my situation is very different as i never had sex and i didnt masturbate, at all, never, up until about a month ago because i started edging and went too far on few occassions.

In my mind there are 3 kinds of ed

1) Physiologic (tissue related, atherosclerosis, venous leak etc) thats when you have normal desire but cant get it up, or not fully...pde5 inhibitors help (cialis, viagra...)

2)hormonal (brain related) this is what i feel is usually the problem with younger folks. Pure lack of desire, lack of libido, lack of what i call brain-d1ck connection

Low test, poor test/e2 ratio, or high prolactin

3) mental thats the one where you can masturbate normally but cant get it up with a girl



When i was a teenager, i used to sprung boners out of thin air. Thinking about sth, driving in my car on a bumpy road, morning wood...penis was really sensitive too

As i entered my 20s i noticed sharp drop in my desire and with lack of libido erections went, no more morning wood or barely ever and 0 spontaneous erections. Also when i have no libido, my d1ck is not sensitive, like i can stroke the glans as much ss i want and i wont feel anything, i simply cant ejaculate.



Why am i typing this?

Because i strongly believe both you and i have this 2nd or 3rd (a combination likely) type of ed. Its either hormonal, mental or a combo of both (most likely).

There is a simple way of discovering.

If you have low or no libido, its hormonal.

If you have normal desire but suddenly lose it with your girl its mental, anxiety most likely, and an element of detachment from the real thing caused by watching porn.

Also keep in mind that stress plays a role. If you're stressed out you aint getting an erection period.



Also i have to touch on the porn thing. Its a real issue. Not just porn, but the ability to look at pics of girls on the internet.

I never watched porn, but i am guilty of looking at pics of girls online. But that is also damaging. Since about 6 months ago i wont look at a single picture of a hot girl online. Like I will close my eyes if it pops on my feed. We simply cant afford it. You cant watch at porn, you cant even watch at pics of hot girls online.

The only women you should look at and fantasize about (and therefore spend your sexual energy on) is your wife/gf if you have one, or real girls you wanna hook up with if single. Thats it. No more "free lunch" for us. Gotta be disciplined for this to work.


So...these are my thoughts, i probably forgot to say a thing or two.

I dont have an answer to your issues as i still havent solved my problem. There are times when i have good libido and when the glans is sensitive.

There are times when i can stroke as much as i want and cant even get an erection, let alone ejaculate. I feel this is prolactin related imho. Just started minoxidil treatment few days ago and i dont understand, as if the part of the day after i apply i dont have libido or sensitivity. Like as if every single sh1t that exists on the planent kills my libido.

Prolactin is the litteral hormone that causes you to lose desire after you ejaculate, its a real mfer. You can have a 1000 test level if your prolactin is high you have 0 libido. Stress raises it, all kinds of medications and supplements raise it, like i said, its a real mfer.

I am trying to approach this as a scientist, find out the mechanisms which cause good libido and then be able to modulate it at will.


I hope one day i'll find a solution to at least keeping my libido active all the time, getting that feeling of wanting to screw the hell out of the girl i used to get as a teen back (i bet i wouldnt have performance issues back then hahaha too bad i didnt use it see i wasted my time i cant get it back now and i am getting older)... i also feel my lack of experience with girls is greatly correlated with my lack of libido...i know if my libido was better (like it was when i was a teen) now that i am way more confident in my 20s i would probably be hooking up as i would have the drive to do it


Then when i find the solution i can help the both of us.