Confidence for vaginal sex (not anal)

[lemonfingers69]

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't read through the other introductions, so I'm not sure how different my story is, but I feel like it might be kind of unique.

I'm a married 41 year - been married for 10 years. Overall, my marriage is great, and sex is okay.
But here's the thing, ever since at least college I've had a fetish for anal (probably due to porn).
Well, I know it's a pretty typical interest, and not necessarily a problem in itself, but my wife is not into it at all!
She doesn't even want to be touched there.

So after this kind of came up again after me trying to touch her ass, I made a decision that I need to figure out a way to get excited other than her ass. I don't imagine that I'll ever get rid of this particular interest, but if I could become excited about other aspects of sex, then it would be okay.

Thinking about my obsession with anal, I've been really trying to diagnose my fantasy life. Why don't I fantasize about vaginal sex? Well, when I have a fantasy, I was think of a woman being underwhelmed by what I have to offer her. Damn, even in my fantasies there is a look of disappointment when I'm about to fuck her. I know she'll really feel it if I fuck her in the ass - but the pussy, maybe not so much.

The thing is that I'm not that small - just under 6 inches. I haven't measured girth but I feel like that is in the same range. So really, I could be bigger, but more what I need is some confidence. I really feel like if I could start fantasizing about a woman (i.e., my wife) really desiring my dick, than I could move on from anal-on-the-brain. I'm also going to stop watching anal porn (which got me in this mess in the first place) and restrict myself to vaginal porn. Perhaps when watching those cuckold videos I could feel more like the stud and less like the cuck. That would definitely be hot.

So, not sure this will work, but after even a single week of vag porn and stretches/jelqs I'm already starting to feel better about this (I know some of this is because of the newness of it all). But I'm hopeful.

[BigO]

More women are not into anal than most men realize.

My best advice is to let her know how you feel and talk about it. If she says no, that's OK and she may have void reasons for not wanting to do it.

The anal conquest is a normal desire, once achieved many find it to be overrated.

Also, stop watching anal porn and honestly all porn if you can.

[Ultimate Burrito]

Best thing is to just talk about it openly but if you don't think that's a good idea there may be other options like getting a sex toy designed to simulate anal sex just to help scratch the itch.

[lemonfingers69]

Well, we've already been open about it - and it's not happening. I don't want to introduce something else that is a substitute for my wife (i.e. to "scratch the itch"), that's how I've been using porn for the past 20 years. My goal is to get more into the things I can actually do with my wife.

[Big Al]

Welcome to the forum!

[Jay1983]

Will you let her peg you with a umm.. peg.. that is the size of your penis?

Welcome to the jungle.

[ProjectMagnum]

I would say to just go down on her and without warning, eat her ass too. It can go one of two ways. But you did say she already freaks out if you even touch her ass.
My only other solution would be to get an anal fleshlight. I myself don't condone cheating.

[VIIby5]

Its a no go with my wife. Luckily im not interested in doing it either. Her vagina satisfies me plenty.