Everything went great then it went completely wrong

[NYCDodge Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NYCDodge]

I guess this is a journey of me trying to understand my own body. Hopefully you guys can bear with me.

First off I would like to thank all of the great threads I have read from guys like Pegasus, Kingpole, James Monroe etc..I’ve learned a lot

My main priority is restoring my EQ to its maximum. I’m not a porn addict. In fact pornos tend to turn me off. If anything I get perfect arousal from imagination or IG pics of bikini models.

I’ve tried NoPorn and have went 3 MONTHS without any masturbating or porn use. I would just have SEX with my little “harem” and get my rocks off that way. The first two months was GREAT! Great EQ and I lasted as long as I generally wanted.

However, the month of MAY has been a total DISASTER!!!

All month I’ve struggled with maintaining a rock hard erection. Which resulted in poor quality erections that led to prem-ejac (I believe ED & PE is tied together). One of the girls I was sexing for the past 7 months was totally satisfied by a prior performance but I had to fight every inch of being to not come fast. After she finally had a huge orgasm I followed suit and came as well. But it was such a struggle. Our recent sexual experience was bad. She didn’t come and I went limp. It eventually led into an argument (we do that a lot) and I left with both of us unsatisfied. I went to another one of my girls and it would be a similar result. During penetration I would start fully hard then go limp. She would have to give me a blowjob in order for me to come.

I began to wonder what’s really wrong with me. I haven’t watched porn or masturbated over the months. In the beginning everything was great in terms of performance, but then it was like a “light-switch” went off on my libido and my mojo went away out of nowhere.

I checked my health. My blood pressure is fine and I’m highly active as a fitness trainer so I know it isn’t health related. I’ve been experiencing stress in some areas but I’ve performed well under worse circumstances before. I stopped drinking caffeine, and all that other stuff..

I’ve decided to start ballooning again. I would think back and recall my BEST sexual experiences were when I would dry edge for 40-60 mins. Sometimes I would use fantasy or watch bikini pics. The only difference this time now is that I balloon and don’t ejaculate at the end. I’ve been doing this for about 9 days and already my erections are bigger and juicier. I’m already seeing gains in my girth as my penis is fatter and veiny and my head looks much bigger. This isn’t my main goal though. I’m more concerned about getting the blood flowing in my dick again for longer periods of time.

Maybe going so long without edging has caused me to go limp? I thought just having sex would be all I needed but I don’t understand what’s wrong with me. Should I refrain from sexual release again for another three months? Everything was so great and now it’s so wrong!

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

If you do not ejaculate often enough it can have negative effects .

[NYCDodge Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NYCDodge]

If you do not ejaculate often enough it can have negative effects .

Thank you Pegasus but can you please elaborate? It’s getting to the point where I’m having bad dreams and cold sweats over this.


Are you able to point out where things went wrong?

[NYCDodge Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NYCDodge]

I ejaculate every 2-3 days

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Not a fan of Nofap .

I would start with a hormone panel .

[mistergeorge Senior Member Member of the Month June 2021 Find all posts View Profile Close mistergeorge]

....Our recent sexual experience was bad. She didn’t come and I went limp. It eventually led into an argument (we do that a lot) and I left with both of us unsatisfied. I went to another one of my girls and it would be a similar result....

The "we argue a lot" part.

You're describing a lack of harmony in your relationship to this circuit of women you call your harem. You're expecting to perform perform perform. If you don't perform in a way you think is right, or if you perceive that she doesn't like the way you did it, you go see another whore so you can get your rocks off better.

You might not like me calling these women that, but you're not the only one they are getting into bed with, so what are you to them and vice versa? And you say you are grossed out by porn! Please. I'm about to gag on your personal account of your sex life.

I'm being kind of a dick, but I'm trying to rattle your cage a little.

You're also hyperfocused on this problem. That's always bad. You're also messing with yourself by doing things like abstaining from masturbation all in the name of better erections.

You're probably going to hate me for this post. I would bank on two things:

1. mental/emotional/relational stuff
2. what Pegasus said - get that hormone panel

[NYCDodge Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NYCDodge]

You’re not rattling anything....if anything you’re just goofy lol

No I don’t like porn. I don’t like the idea of seeing another mans dick...I made it clear that I rather watching bikini pics or my imagination. If that seems unbelievable to you understand that I’m not you lol

As for the first woman, yes we argue a lot, but there’s always been a strong sexual relationship between us that lasted 7 months coupled with a great friendship. I made that clear when I wrote the post. I didn’t start experiencing things going down hill until the month of MAY. As for the other woman, I see her regularly as well and things were similar in regards to sex. Our relationship is actually great as well as we care for each other, which is why I couldn’t understand why things went downhill. This is how I knew there was a problem. Everything went down hill in the SAME MONTH.

The No Fap thing was just something I tried. I’m beginning to regret it which is why I’ve incorporated edging again to fantasy and bikini pics. I truthfully hate watching hardcore porn...once again believe what you will. It’s not as enjoyable as the former

As for my mental/emotional life, like I’ve said (if you’ve read) that I’ve experienced highly stressful moments in my life without it affecting my sex drive, so I don’t see how this is different.

Thanks for trying to help

[NYCDodge Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NYCDodge]

Not a fan of Nofap .

I would start with a hormone panel .

I’ll look into the hormone panel. I believe my test is fine being that I’m able to get it up and maintain it for an hour straight due to my edging sessions. But I’ll see if there’s anything else involved.

How does my edging routine sound to you based on what I wrote? Dry edge for about 40-60 mins using imagination and bikini pics? I’ll start ejaculating at the end instead of holding it in. It’s only been my second week since incorporating it again

My main concern is finding the ROOT of the problem. This is what bugs me out the most. It can’t be porn/fapping because that wasn’t in my life for 3 months, it was just sex. My stress and emotional well-being was much better than other times in my life when I was sexually fine so I don’t see how that may be a factor as well and I’m physically in shape/active too...

[mistergeorge Senior Member Member of the Month June 2021 Find all posts View Profile Close mistergeorge]

You’re not rattling anything....if anything you’re just goofy lol

No I don’t like porn. I don’t like the idea of seeing another mans dick...I made it clear that I rather watching bikini pics or my imagination. If that seems unbelievable to you understand that I’m not you lol

As for the first woman, yes we argue a lot, but there’s always been a strong sexual relationship between us that lasted 7 months coupled with a great friendship. I made that clear when I wrote the post. I didn’t start experiencing things going down hill until the month of MAY. As for the other woman, I see her regularly as well and things were similar in regards to sex. Our relationship is actually great as well as we care for each other, which is why I couldn’t understand why things went downhill. This is how I knew there was a problem. Everything went down hill in the SAME MONTH.

The No Fap thing was just something I tried. I’m beginning to regret it which is why I’ve incorporated edging again to fantasy and bikini pics. I truthfully hate watching hardcore porn...once again believe what you will. It’s not as enjoyable as the former

As for my mental/emotional life, like I’ve said (if you’ve read) that I’ve experienced highly stressful moments in my life without it affecting my sex drive, so I don’t see how this is different.

Thanks for trying to help

No problem. You cleaned up your language a lot in this post and that clarified some things. So thanks for that.

These fluctuations in erectile function can remain a great mystery until the causes self-correct. You may never get to the root cause. Or you might realize what it was once it is gone. The usual suspects are sleep quality/quantity, unconscious stressors - I get what you're saying about being perfectly functional during stressful times, but still it's just the usual thing and sometimes you don't know what you got until it's gone. As with most posts like yours, guys usually don't need as much help as they ask for and usually figure things out in time and I'm sure you will too. Best of wishes.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

I’ll look into the hormone panel. I believe my test is fine being that I’m able to get it up and maintain it for an hour straight due to my edging sessions. But I’ll see if there’s anything else involved.

How does my edging routine sound to you based on what I wrote? Dry edge for about 40-60 mins using imagination and bikini pics? I’ll start ejaculating at the end instead of holding it in. It’s only been my second week since incorporating it again

My main concern is finding the ROOT of the problem. This is what bugs me out the most. It can’t be porn/fapping because that wasn’t in my life for 3 months, it was just sex. My stress and emotional well-being was much better than other times in my life when I was sexually fine so I don’t see how that may be a factor as well and I’m physically in shape/active too...

If you can get a long lasting erection solo but not partnered then head issues are the obvious answer . Which is not my area .

[NYCDodge Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NYCDodge]

If you can get a long lasting erection solo but not partnered then head issues are the obvious answer . Which is not my area .

Well truthfully Pegasus I’ve been edging for about 9-10 days now and I’ve decided to refrain from sex to work on my blood flow and EQ. It wasn’t until recent Sunday when I’ve noticed the difference and how strong my EQ was.

Last night I had an hour long session...dry edging, and I finished at that end instead of holding it in like you suggested. All I used was fantasy and I looked at some pics of IG models. But I was fully capable of achieving a hard erection by my own thoughts.

I’m going to test it out on sex maybe next week. I want some time to get in touch with my body again. I woke up this morning feeling sore but my dick is responding favorably again. But sex is where the real test is

[NYCDodge Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NYCDodge]

As with most posts like yours, guys usually don't need as much help as they ask for and usually figure things out in time and I'm sure you will too. Best of wishes.

That was what I thought when I first joined. I had a feeling my question would’ve been like thousands of others here. But I really just needed tailored advice.

I’ve started edging 10 days ago and at first my EQ wasn’t great. But until this recent Sunday I’ve noticed it coming back harder and stronger.

Next week I’ll have sex again and test things out

[Big Al AdministratorPEGym EditorMale Enhancement Coach Rep.PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Big Al]

Welcome to the forum!

The penis and its associated organs will fall into disuse if not utilized regularly. The following are my thoughts on "NoFap" (with slight edit- courtesy of NoFap and Stamina Training without Porn):

The thing about NoFap- if the goal is to optimize sexual function then months [in your particular case] on end without any stimuli can have the reverse effect due to atrophy. As you noted, you recovered and “peaked” about a couple of months into the phase- and a decline afterwards as the body adapts to a lack of sexual activity should have been expected.

Keeping the above in mind- extremes at either end don’t work for long periods. The Stop and Starts exercise offers a manageable outlet for libido and also trains you towards greater EQ- something with isn’t possible after a period with no training.

[NYCDodge Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NYCDodge]

Welcome to the forum!

The penis and its associated organs will fall into disuse if not utilized regularly. The following are my thoughts on "NoFap" (with slight edit- courtesy of NoFap and Stamina Training without Porn):

The thing about NoFap- if the goal is to optimize sexual function then months [in your particular case] on end without any stimuli can have the reverse effect due to atrophy. As you noted, you recovered and “peaked” about a couple of months into the phase- and a decline afterwards as the body adapts to a lack of sexual activity should have been expected.

Keeping the above in mind- extremes at either end don’t work for long periods. The Stop and Starts exercise offers a manageable outlet for libido and also trains you towards greater EQ- something with isn’t possible after a period with no training.

Thank you Big Al! I actually just posted something in the ED section. Would love your take on it as I posed a question.

Yes I’ve been edging again for the past 12 days for about an hour. I would use either fantasy or look at bikini models/pic of attractively dressed women (would you consider this porn?) to add on to my imagination..

A few days ago I had sex with one of the women and she has already mentioned how much harder and “fuller” I was. She thought I was using a pill or something. She also quickly came multiple times. I still went flaccid at certain points but I was able to quickly get it back up. I’m learning the best methods of edging for me as I admit I was a bit rough with myself the first 10 days

Thank you !

[tspot180 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close tspot180]

Hello and thanks for sharing your experience. You're doing great man, just one month out of so many in wich it went wrong for you, I've been having trouble with sex like that my entire life. My issues are mental, I can edge with/without porn for many hours if I want to. I can also gain from PE activities.
I hope you can get back on track.

She also quickly came multiple times.

Dude, I never made a girl cum, EVER. You're gold, good luck with your EQ coming back stronger than ever.