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My story (or: "What got me here")
Hi everyone. I've been lurking on the site for a while now and finally decided to register. This is the first week of my PE journey, and I hope it will be just one of many many more to come. My story begins like most, I suspect...
I don't know why, but even before I ever saw another one in real life I always thought I had a small penis. I remember going with my dad to a gym and we were in the locker room (I must have been around 6 or so). I saw this guy walking around nude and he had a huge cock. I really admired it and hoped that someday I would look like that. You know the type: thick, hangs real low about 5-6 inches and slowly sways back and forth while the guy walks as if it's a heavy pendulum. I figured once puberty hit I, too, would have a dick like that.
Well, it never happened.
I remember getting pubes and my voice cracking and all of that and, sure, my penis grew, but it didn't grow into the one I was expecting. I turtle all the time and because of the fact that I'm usually pretty chubby sometimes there's barely an inch sticking out. Erect I'm kind of ok length wise: 5.5" BPEL, but the big thing that's always bothered me is my girth. Ever since puberty whenever I've seen another guy's dick it's ALWAYS been thicker than mine. Even most guys flaccid seem thicker than mine erect. It's not HORRIBLE, about 4" MSEG, but it's still too thin. I've never felt the sensation of a really "tight" pussy and I've never given women multiple orgasms with it. It's usable I suppose, perhaps even average, but to me it's always been a big disappointment.
I don't know how to describe it, but since puberty (I'm 30 now) it's been this HUGE hangup with me. When I'm walking around and I feel it turtling inside me I feel like I want to go turtle somewhere myself.... just find someplace to hide. I think people are looking at it and noticing the (lack of) bulge in my pants. The mere idea of getting naked in a locker room or wearing spandex to go bicycling fills me with absolute terror. In fact, I guess if I had to pick one thing to change, flaccid vs. erect, it would be my flaccid size; it just makes me feel like I'm not entirely a man.
I'm tired of it. I'm tired of this one little (ahem) area of my life affecting every OTHER part of my life. I'm tired of not having fun guy friends for fear we may go skinny dipping or do some other fun thing that might involve them seeing my junk and laughing at it. I'm sick of having to go to the stalls in bars and stadiums where there are "trough" style urinals. I can't stand being pee shy even when it's NOT a trough-style urinal. I hate catching a glimpse of the guy next to me and having him ALWAYS be bigger than me. I'm through with feeling inadequate every time I read a "how do you hide your boner" style post on the internet and reading post about the "tuck and fold" (yeah, right, people probably wouldn't even notice if I had a hard on). Most of all, I'm tired of the women I'm with having to say nice little white lies about my size.
I want to swagger in the locker room. I want a girl's eyes to widen when she sees my unit. I don't want to have to "fluff" the damn thing every time I take a piss just so it will come out of hiding and I can pull it out of my underwear. I want to put my hands down my pants and bet I'll feel something OTHER than nuts.
I want a big dick. I'll settle for "more normal".
STARTING STATS
BPFL: 4" (though it's usually turtled to less than an inch)
FG: 3.5"
BPFSL: 5.1"
BPEL: 5.5"
MSEG: 4"
GOALS
1. BPEL: 6", EG: 4.5", BPFL: 4" without turtling, FG: 4" (when I achieve this I'll feel a LOT better about myself. I'll finally start to feel more "normal")
2. BPEL: 6.5", EG: 4.75 (I'll start feeling like I'm "slightly larger than average" at this point)
3. BPEL: 7", EG: 5"
FINAL GOAL: BPEL: 7.5", EG: 5.5"
STRETCH GOAL: The ol' 8x6 (I wouldn't mind, but I'm not really shooting for it at this point)
MY ROUTINE
10 minute moist heat pad warmup
90 kegels during warmup
10 minute flaccid stretches
10 minute wet jelq
5 minute BathMate warm-down with light pressure (basically because it feels good)
10-15 minute edging
Basically, a slightly modified JP90
WHERE I'M GOING FROM HERE
I really want to stick to this for at least a year. I figure once I see my first gains I'll be absolutely hooked, but until then I really just need to focus and get these first few months out of the way. Once I hit the six week point I'll add some flaccid bends into the mix.
I have to admin I'm still a little skeptical about this whole process, but I'm recently separated and have, literally, all the time in the world. Also, I'm with so many others on this board who have said "I'm skeptical, but I just can't fathom why all these random people all over the internet would spend so much time talking about this stuff if it didn't work". I've also seen photographic evidence, and unless there are a whole bunch of people who are REALLY damn good at Photoshop, that's really the best evidence there is.
I just turned 30, and this whole PE thing along with finally losing all this weight, getting some muscles, learning to play golf, and dressing better and taking care of myself.... ALL of this is my new commitment to myself to finally become the one thing I've wanted to be since I was 5: an adult.
Comments and suggestions are, of course, welcome.
I don't know why, but even before I ever saw another one in real life I always thought I had a small penis. I remember going with my dad to a gym and we were in the locker room (I must have been around 6 or so). I saw this guy walking around nude and he had a huge cock. I really admired it and hoped that someday I would look like that. You know the type: thick, hangs real low about 5-6 inches and slowly sways back and forth while the guy walks as if it's a heavy pendulum. I figured once puberty hit I, too, would have a dick like that.
Well, it never happened.
I remember getting pubes and my voice cracking and all of that and, sure, my penis grew, but it didn't grow into the one I was expecting. I turtle all the time and because of the fact that I'm usually pretty chubby sometimes there's barely an inch sticking out. Erect I'm kind of ok length wise: 5.5" BPEL, but the big thing that's always bothered me is my girth. Ever since puberty whenever I've seen another guy's dick it's ALWAYS been thicker than mine. Even most guys flaccid seem thicker than mine erect. It's not HORRIBLE, about 4" MSEG, but it's still too thin. I've never felt the sensation of a really "tight" pussy and I've never given women multiple orgasms with it. It's usable I suppose, perhaps even average, but to me it's always been a big disappointment.
I don't know how to describe it, but since puberty (I'm 30 now) it's been this HUGE hangup with me. When I'm walking around and I feel it turtling inside me I feel like I want to go turtle somewhere myself.... just find someplace to hide. I think people are looking at it and noticing the (lack of) bulge in my pants. The mere idea of getting naked in a locker room or wearing spandex to go bicycling fills me with absolute terror. In fact, I guess if I had to pick one thing to change, flaccid vs. erect, it would be my flaccid size; it just makes me feel like I'm not entirely a man.
I'm tired of it. I'm tired of this one little (ahem) area of my life affecting every OTHER part of my life. I'm tired of not having fun guy friends for fear we may go skinny dipping or do some other fun thing that might involve them seeing my junk and laughing at it. I'm sick of having to go to the stalls in bars and stadiums where there are "trough" style urinals. I can't stand being pee shy even when it's NOT a trough-style urinal. I hate catching a glimpse of the guy next to me and having him ALWAYS be bigger than me. I'm through with feeling inadequate every time I read a "how do you hide your boner" style post on the internet and reading post about the "tuck and fold" (yeah, right, people probably wouldn't even notice if I had a hard on). Most of all, I'm tired of the women I'm with having to say nice little white lies about my size.
I want to swagger in the locker room. I want a girl's eyes to widen when she sees my unit. I don't want to have to "fluff" the damn thing every time I take a piss just so it will come out of hiding and I can pull it out of my underwear. I want to put my hands down my pants and bet I'll feel something OTHER than nuts.
I want a big dick. I'll settle for "more normal".
STARTING STATS
BPFL: 4" (though it's usually turtled to less than an inch)
FG: 3.5"
BPFSL: 5.1"
BPEL: 5.5"
MSEG: 4"
GOALS
1. BPEL: 6", EG: 4.5", BPFL: 4" without turtling, FG: 4" (when I achieve this I'll feel a LOT better about myself. I'll finally start to feel more "normal")
2. BPEL: 6.5", EG: 4.75 (I'll start feeling like I'm "slightly larger than average" at this point)
3. BPEL: 7", EG: 5"
FINAL GOAL: BPEL: 7.5", EG: 5.5"
STRETCH GOAL: The ol' 8x6 (I wouldn't mind, but I'm not really shooting for it at this point)
MY ROUTINE
10 minute moist heat pad warmup
90 kegels during warmup
10 minute flaccid stretches
10 minute wet jelq
5 minute BathMate warm-down with light pressure (basically because it feels good)
10-15 minute edging
Basically, a slightly modified JP90
WHERE I'M GOING FROM HERE
I really want to stick to this for at least a year. I figure once I see my first gains I'll be absolutely hooked, but until then I really just need to focus and get these first few months out of the way. Once I hit the six week point I'll add some flaccid bends into the mix.
I have to admin I'm still a little skeptical about this whole process, but I'm recently separated and have, literally, all the time in the world. Also, I'm with so many others on this board who have said "I'm skeptical, but I just can't fathom why all these random people all over the internet would spend so much time talking about this stuff if it didn't work". I've also seen photographic evidence, and unless there are a whole bunch of people who are REALLY damn good at Photoshop, that's really the best evidence there is.
I just turned 30, and this whole PE thing along with finally losing all this weight, getting some muscles, learning to play golf, and dressing better and taking care of myself.... ALL of this is my new commitment to myself to finally become the one thing I've wanted to be since I was 5: an adult.
Comments and suggestions are, of course, welcome.
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