Bummed Out

[reverb93]

Hey everyone, could use some support here. Please no heckling or trolly comments - I'm already bummed out enough as it is.

I'm 27 years old, straight, and a virgin. I know...I know...'

I am not hideous looking, I'm pretty thin and in decent shape and have had good luck dating attractive girls over the years. Just...never had sex with any of them. Part of this is due to religious baggage that I was brought up with that I'm just now able to shake off. I've been a virgin "by choice" up until this point because of this. Now, I'm not really interested in staying a virgin anymore to say the least.

I've always been kind of a paranoid guy. I have OCD and I take Celexa for anxiety.

My newest fear is that I'm going to be terrible at sex forever and that there's nothing I can do about it. I've been masturbating a ton since I was like 13 and I used to look at porn for many years, although I've quit because I think it fucks with my confidence.

I usually cum way too quickly when I masturbate, but I'm working on some of the techniques on here to last longer. I have a strange quirk though and I was wondering if anyone could provide some insight into this.

Sometimes when I masturbate and I'm trying to last a long time, I might get 13-15 minutes in and I feel something that I could only describe as an "internal orgasm". It's not particularly pleasurable and I lose my erection. There is no ejaculation accompanying this. It's starting to worry me a bit.

Is there any damn hope for me, man?

Trying here. I'm dating this really cool girl, she knows I'm a V and she's cool with, but I want to be decent when the time comes.

Please no hateful replies, guys. I like the idea of a place where people can support one another. Thanks for hearing my sob story. Any input?

[Steneo]

I was a virgin until I was 27 too my friend (also pretty thin, generally anxious, and didn't have any issues attracting women over those years just like you). No worries, especially if this girl knows and she's cool with it, then there is no need for you to put undue pressure on yourself to perform because she probably isn't expecting it and putting pressure on yourself won't help.

I'm not gonna lie, your first time probably won't last very long, but once you get that one out of the way then hopefully round 2 (and 3, 4, whatever... ) will be better. That was the case for me anyway. You don't mention what you are working on that you found here but I hope it is a kegel/reverse kegel routine to work on what sounds like a tense pelvic floor.

I think you'll find this to be a generally nice place with supportive and helpful people. Welcome!

Edit: I'm not really sure what to make of that specific issue you describe but hopefully someone else will have some insight.

[aBone2pick]

Please no hateful replies, guys. I like the idea of a place where people can support one another. Thanks for hearing my sob story. Any input?

Don't worry man, no one here has any hateful replies for you. I was a virgin 'till I got married for religious reasons. I also masturbated a crazy amount before I got married, and had some bouts with the ol' porno. It made me a pretty quick cummer, during my self service routine.

The time I technically lost my virginity, I literally lasted less than a minute. I penetrated, slowly went all the way in, then once I was in I stayed there for 10 seconds or so, then was like "OH **** GET OFF ME NOW". And that was that.

There's no shame in sucking at sex the first time. Seriously, girls get it. If she already knows you are a virgin, she probably expects you to be terrible the first time. Just tell her straight up that you are a little insecure about it and want to take it slow the first handful of times. If she isn't cool with that, keep your damn virginity and wait for someone who deserves it. You will be fine.

[CUSP82]

Oh did I hear that someone wants to be picked on? Hey afterall that's what I do best around here. Okay so I should pick on you because you're a virgin? Well I was going to pick on you for that but I did some thinking and guess what? I was one too. It really doesn't matter at what age you lose your virginity so I guess if I was going to pick on you for that I would have to pick on me as well. Gee I hate picking on myself so I'll let you slide on the virgin thing.

Okay what's he next thing I should pick on you for? Oh that you're going to be bad at sex. Gee guess what; so was I the first couple of time and guess what as well; so was she! ( No I didn't tell her that- I'm not that stupid.) Everyone is bad at sex in the beginnng ; that why we must practcie practice practice!

Okay well since you and me are a lot alike I really can't pick on you without picking on me so I won't. Now since you and I are like the rest of the world I guess they can't pick on us either. Hey if you can find something really good to pick on you and berate you for please let me know. I love doing that. Until you find something good for me to pick on you for I'll just tell you to go enjoy being young!

[donjelqer76]

Welcome to the gym

As already pointed out, these feelings you are going through are perfectly normal. Hell, many men get nervous and anxious the first time with any new partner, regardless of whether or not they're a virgin.

Regarding your "internal orgasm" question - it almost sounds like a dry orgasm or a retrograde ejaculation (where you ejaculate, but it goes up into the bladder). This can happen if you have a strong involuntary kegel reflex. Research MMO and dry orgasms, perhaps you'll find some similarities and get a better idea of what's going on.

Good luck