The reality about exes, and feeling, etc.

[Andros Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Andros]

In another thread, MrB8 challenges my take on the fact that having a lot of sexual experience with many different women (or different men for the ladies), does not have any bearing on our current relationship with someone.

Here's his post in quotes:

Glad you two enjoyed a good laugh

The way I see it, if you are thinking of your Ex(s) you are not over them, are not with your CURRENT partner, and definitely not in the moment especially if you bring them to your bed.

What I meant with my previous post is that it really doesn't matter how much we are packing, or how many we or our partners have been with before we met, whats past is past and it is up to us to live the present and the future.

Its not like a penis auction and whoever has the biggest unit is picked by the girl nor is it about sex, its intimacy and emotions that matter, and those don't even need a penis.

I don't want to hijack the thread so I won't be responding on this subject here anymore, if you are interested in maybe another laugh at this moronic idiocy lets take it elsewhere.

So ya dude, I'm taking it elsewhere.

I've only been with 2 women in my life. First girl was really hot, but stuck up and bitchy, and had that princess attitude "I'm beautiful so you have to do what I say if you want me as your gf". So yeah, because she was hot I put up with that shit for a while, but it was grating to be around her and I had enough one day and just cut things with her.

I never asked her how many guys she was with before me. I'm guessing probably more than 10 or 15, most of them likely one night stands, who knows.

I met another girl who is much sweeter. The funny thing is, first time we had sex, I was actually surprised how much tighter her vagina was. I had only felt one vagina prior to that, and it was looser, but having no real comparison, I had no idea there were differences.

I wasn't looking for a girl who was tighter. I stater dating this girl because she won me over with her sweetness, even though she was more average looking. Still eventually we started chatting about previous exes, and she was surprised to find she was only my second. She admitted to me she had had 8 guys before me, and I believe her, and of course the usual "they turned out to be assholes" speech, etc etc.

So anyway to not make this about my life story, basically:

1. I don't have a lot of experience
2. Yet, I was able to feel a noticeable difference between only 2 women.

So you say "Well if you're still thinking about your exe's with your new SO, then you are not in the moment with your new partner"

Sir, respectfully I say to that "horseshit!". I wasn't looking for another girl, I was forced out of a relationship into another one. I still wish the first girl wasn't so goddamn stupid. I don't miss her much, but I still miss her a little bit even if the new girl actually has a better "feel" so to speak.

And I can honestly say that if I had to stop seeing my new gf, and end up with another girl who was looser, yeah I'd miss it.

Are you going to say this wouldn't be the case for you too?

[Dick Whammy Retired Moderator Member of the month Jan 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Dick Whammy]

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Feelings are feelings. No one can deny ANYONE that they feel a certain way. Life isn't always a bowl of fruit, we gotta take the bad with the good. Look at everything as some type of learning experience and try not to get frustrated. I can see this going sour,,,,so consider yourself hugged!!! :-)

[kirkoloft Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kirkoloft]

I have been with 12 women in my life and out of those only 2 where my girlfriends. In almost all of them I was either the rebound guy or they were cheating on their SO with me. After my first relationship that lasted a year and a half, in which I was the rebound guy, I decided to just have fun and not get attached to anybody; I was successful at that until 2 years later I started dating this gorgeous blonde who was cheating on her fiancée with me. I had no intention of being more than just friends as soon as I learned about her relationship; however, she made the first move and the sex was just AMAZING! We fucked like jack rabbits and we had similar interests and taste as well. It was like we immediately clicked. It took her 6 months to break up with him and she never told him about us. She never got over him just like she never got over her ex husband. 2 years into our relationship I find out she still sees her ex-fiancée who was engaged now and even though I was in love with her and planning to marry her, I had to end it. It's been 3 months now and I still haven't gotten over it. I cut off all ties with her after she practically begged for us to get back together. I haven't been able to start dating again because I'm so messed up inside. I need to work on myself and figure out what I really want. What I'm certain about though is the fact that my exes and the exes of those I've been with have had a major influence on my relations with the ladies and will continue to do so.

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

You have been in a bad relationship, got hurt and I feel for you, but maybe you are mixing things together.

If I understand you correctly, you are afraid that your current/future girlfriend would find you smaller than her exes just as you found your second to be tighter?

I'm not arguing with that, and your first relationship was definitely a negative experience, all I'm trying to say, is that you don't need a big penis to win a woman, I'm not saying that they can't tell the difference between big and small, but they don't need big to enjoy it.

And the first thing you can do about making her feel good about your penis, is that you feel good about it first.

Andros, I'm not and was not attacking you, in that thread I wanted the OP to not think about competition, because there's none and here I only want you to let go of the past, and invest in the future, this isn't a lecture, just relieve your brain and soul of these thoughts and start over.

In other words, both genders think of sexual satisfaction differently, you know yours, try to learn the others instead of assumptions or basing it on one bad experience.

[Dick Whammy Retired Moderator Member of the month Jan 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Dick Whammy]

I have been with 12 women in my life and out of those only 2 where my girlfriends. In almost all of them I was either the rebound guy or they were cheating on their SO with me. After my first relationship that lasted a year and a half, in which I was the rebound guy, I decided to just have fun and not get attached to anybody; I was successful at that until 2 years later I started dating this gorgeous blonde who was cheating on her fiancée with me. I had no intention of being more than just friends as soon as I learned about her relationship; however, she made the first move and the sex was just AMAZING! We fucked like jack rabbits and we had similar interests and taste as well. It was like we immediately clicked. It took her 6 months to break up with him and she never told him about us. She never got over him just like she never got over her ex husband. 2 years into our relationship I find out she still sees her ex-fiancée who was engaged now and even though I was in love with her and planning to marry her, I had to end it. It's been 3 months now and I still haven't gotten over it. I cut off all ties with her after she practically begged for us to get back together. I haven't been able to start dating again because I'm so messed up inside. I need to work on myself and figure out what I really want. What I'm certain about though is the fact that my exes and the exes of those I've been with have had a major influence on my relations with the ladies and will continue to do so.

I can feel what you are talking about. Your words come across with the pain you are feeling. I also understand that "messed up" feeling you are talking about.....Happened to me with my last GF of 17 years. Boy was I totally Fuc*ed up after that. I went deeper and deeper into myself,,,I couldn't work,,,things that took 5 minutes before, took me all day to do and at my worse abilities. I was like this for months,,,,,,,I started researching online for hours and days and then I finally came to the conclusion that it wasn't me that was the cause of what had happened.....not only that,,,,I had totally no control of this situation and there was no way that I ever would. It wasn't me,,,,and it wasn't my fault. At that point I started healing. Took time, but I got over it.

My advice: Make yourself the best you can be. Learn about relationships and how to be a good partner. It's a start, it won't be easy,,,,but you'll make it. ;-)

[kirkoloft Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kirkoloft]

Thank you DW! It seems to me that somewhere along the way I lost touch with whom I was and got sucked into something that debilitated my awareness. You can learn all there is to know about relationships and being the perfect partner, but she will always be who she is and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. I just have to make sure it never happens to me again. One needs to drop all expectations and be able to end a relationship instead of trying to change the other person, with full awareness, before it's too late, and without having to suffer afterwards.

[draggin Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close draggin]

In another thread, MrB8 challenges my take on the fact that having a lot of sexual experience with many different women (or different men for the ladies), does not have any bearing on our current relationship with someone.

Here's his post in quotes:


So ya dude, I'm taking it elsewhere.

I've only been with 2 women in my life. First girl was really hot, but stuck up and bitchy, and had that princess attitude "I'm beautiful so you have to do what I say if you want me as your gf". So yeah, because she was hot I put up with that shit for a while, but it was grating to be around her and I had enough one day and just cut things with her.

I never asked her how many guys she was with before me. I'm guessing probably more than 10 or 15, most of them likely one night stands, who knows.

I met another girl who is much sweeter. The funny thing is, first time we had sex, I was actually surprised how much tighter her vagina was. I had only felt one vagina prior to that, and it was looser, but having no real comparison, I had no idea there were differences.

I wasn't looking for a girl who was tighter. I stater dating this girl because she won me over with her sweetness, even though she was more average looking. Still eventually we started chatting about previous exes, and she was surprised to find she was only my second. She admitted to me she had had 8 guys before me, and I believe her, and of course the usual "they turned out to be assholes" speech, etc etc.

So anyway to not make this about my life story, basically:

1. I don't have a lot of experience
2. Yet, I was able to feel a noticeable difference between only 2 women.

So you say "Well if you're still thinking about your exe's with your new SO, then you are not in the moment with your new partner"

Sir, respectfully I say to that "horseshit!". I wasn't looking for another girl, I was forced out of a relationship into another one. I still wish the first girl wasn't so goddamn stupid. I don't miss her much, but I still miss her a little bit even if the new girl actually has a better "feel" so to speak.

And I can honestly say that if I had to stop seeing my new gf, and end up with another girl who was looser, yeah I'd miss it.

Are you going to say this wouldn't be the case for you too?

I don't have the attention span to read such a long post. All I know is that B8 is one of the smartest guys I know. So if you're post goes on and on and on about how awesome B8 is, I understand and feel the same.

[anonymity Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close anonymity]

In another thread, MrB8 challenges my take on the fact that having a lot of sexual experience with many different women (or different men for the ladies), does not have any bearing on our current relationship with someone.

Here's his post in quotes:




So ya dude, I'm taking it elsewhere.

I've only been with 2 women in my life. First girl was really hot, but stuck up and bitchy, and had that princess attitude "I'm beautiful so you have to do what I say if you want me as your gf". So yeah, because she was hot I put up with that shit for a while, but it was grating to be around her and I had enough one day and just cut things with her.

I never asked her how many guys she was with before me. I'm guessing probably more than 10 or 15, most of them likely one night stands, who knows.

I met another girl who is much sweeter. The funny thing is, first time we had sex, I was actually surprised how much tighter her vagina was. I had only felt one vagina prior to that, and it was looser, but having no real comparison, I had no idea there were differences.

I wasn't looking for a girl who was tighter. I stater dating this girl because she won me over with her sweetness, even though she was more average looking. Still eventually we started chatting about previous exes, and she was surprised to find she was only my second. She admitted to me she had had 8 guys before me, and I believe her, and of course the usual "they turned out to be assholes" speech, etc etc.

So anyway to not make this about my life story, basically:

1. I don't have a lot of experience
2. Yet, I was able to feel a noticeable difference between only 2 women.

So you say "Well if you're still thinking about your exe's with your new SO, then you are not in the moment with your new partner"

Sir, respectfully I say to that "horseshit!". I wasn't looking for another girl, I was forced out of a relationship into another one. I still wish the first girl wasn't so goddamn stupid. I don't miss her much, but I still miss her a little bit even if the new girl actually has a better "feel" so to speak.

And I can honestly say that if I had to stop seeing my new gf, and end up with another girl who was looser, yeah I'd miss it.

Are you going to say this wouldn't be the case for you too?

Blaaaaaaaaa! The only hugs I have would be for B8 who is obviously more emotionaly evolved. BTW, I'm sure he would feel my hug just fine.

[NCGUY1972 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NCGUY1972]

Ive been with a couple hundred and loved them all for at least 5 minutes! lol Learned a little something from a few

[islander Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close islander]

Anything from your past you learn from. Person place or thing. Life experience. When you actually live a life and have personal experience you can talk about it When you read about life or watch it then it teaches you but not as if you lived it.