Is my penis messed up beyond repair? Need your help

[messeduppenor Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close messeduppenor]

Hi,

i am glad that i have found this forum, because i am really stressed out about my penis. I am a healthy 24 year old male, dont smoke or drink.

Something about me - i have lost my virginity at the age of 22. The first few times i couldn't get hard (anxiety?), later i managed to somehow get hard a little and I cummed in a few seconds after entering the vagina. I was embarrassed. So I just secretly ordered generic viagra pills over the internet (Kamagra) and used them every single them since then i have had PIV sex. I could suddenly have sex with a strong erection for lets say an hour if i wanted. The feeling is is incredible.

I started nofap - because i have fapped every day for the last 10-12 years! I started getting morning erections, could finish a lot faster (even from a BJ, wasnt possible before), but still taking the generic viagra.

Then I ended my nofap streak and i found a new girl after a few months. I couldnt get properly hard for the first time even with viagra. But the next time it was great, but couldnt finish quickly, it took me sooo long. So I started nofap again - i could finish in a decent time.

I then started with fapping again and I received some handjobs without viagra pills = i could get hard but her hand was getting sore, she had to stroke it without interruption for too long. After a short nofap streak it was a lot better, i could finish quickly.

Next girl and the same pattern is there. Bad sex the first time even with viagra, the next time i am hard for too long, started nofap again. The whole time i am secretly using generic viagra pills.

My longest nofap streak was for like 60 days.

The problems:
1) If I fap to porn, i can get an erection but its like a balloon. As soon as i stop stroking/touching it, it gets soft in a few seconds. I think thats not normal, is it? On viagra i can stand up, go for the condom, get it on and continue. This is the biggest problem. I cant have sex with a penis like that if it gets flaccid in a few seconds.

Is there something i can do with it?

2) My penis is quite big (17 cm) but it does have a very weird shape. Its narrow at the base and it gets thicker to the head. If that wasnt enough - at the 1/3 of the base there is a bend and my penis points downwards. Is that a problem? Can it have some influence on my erection problems?

3) If i dont take viagra, then i can touch, grop etc. my GF through the clothing and nothing happens. If i do the same thing with viagra - i get an erection! Is that normal? What could i do with it?

4) Should i try to quit taking the viagra pills? I have the 100mg Kamagra pill, the last time i used maybe like 15mg (estimate) and it worked great. Should i just get to a lower dose everytime?

Please help, i am really stressed out about this. Should I stop fapping for several months and wait if it gets better? Or could there be some physical damage?

If i can get normal sex on viagra (most of the girls told me it was the best sex they had and the couldnt move properly afterwards) = does it mean that my penis is healthy or it doesnt mean anything?

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

Welcome to the gym messeduppenor!

If I were you I would quit all the pills, no way a healthy 24 year old should be relying on anything to help him achieve erections.

Try giving up the pills and doing one of the beginners routines listed here <.

When doing the beginner routine be sure to pay attention to your PI's <, they will help guide you and determine if your doing too much/not enough. Also start a log in the progress forum to help keep track of things and members can chime in with useful tips and help you interpret your PI's too.

In addition to the above, edging is a very useful exercise that can help you last longer in bed and will help give you solid erections. Edging 101

Good luck, stay positive!

[messeduppenor Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close messeduppenor]

Hi Burtybasset, thanks for the message and welcome!

I am very curious about my first problem (balloon like erection, deflating without touching, only without viagra), is there something i could read about it on here or somewhere? I couldnt find anything

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

No problem, I don't know exactly what you mean by balloon like erection, do you mean to say it's not as solid as you would like?

The following link may also help you gain harder erections.

https://www.pegym.com/forums/erectil...ection+balloon

As far as deflating without touching many people who report weaker erections to begin, experience harder ones after commencing the beginner routines. Edging will help with this too.

[WhiteRoom Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close WhiteRoom]

I'm the same age as you and have the same problem... so just letting you know, you aren't alone. The pills do what they are supposed to do. From what I've read, I believe there is hope for us. Most say it's just a mental thing, which I agree with, because like you said, certain things make me erect and others... I go immediately soft.

[spencerdiaz Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spencerdiaz]

1) If I fap to porn, i can get an erection but its like a balloon.

theres your problem right there. Stop fapping to porn. Stop watching porn all together.

[messeduppenor Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close messeduppenor]

What i mean with balloon like erection - its just like blowing air into the ballon, when you stop doing it, it gets out pretty quickly. Thats the same with my erecion and the blood in my penis - when i touch/stroke it, it gets hard, but after i stop it, it immediately starts getting down/soft. I mean its just a few seconds, maybe 5-10 without touching and i have a very weak erection. With viagra it just stays hard even without touching it.

[messeduppenor Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close messeduppenor]

So you think that the porn is the problem? In the last few years i started to fap to cuckold stuff :/ and what i have to admit - i shared pics of my GF to some random persons who basically jerked off to her etc. and i fapped to it. I know its ridiculous and wrong. Thats why i havent fapped the last 30 days. Somewhere i have read that it takes up to 6-9 months till the brain is rewired after stopping porn. Some think its bro science, so not sure...

Btw. its hard not to fap with an avatar pic like you have

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

Do you do any kegels? These can help also and are a part of the beginner routines, these should help you maintain erections, but don't overdo it with these as they can lead to further problems, slow and steady progress is the way forward.

I would seriously consider giving up the viagra and the porn too! Your training your brain to respond to certain images, let your body and brain recover!

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

to the Gym!


Don't miss this thread!!!

Mental PE - Creating The Right Mindset

If you haven't already done so, check the links on the navigation bar at the top of the page especially the START HERE Thread and focus on safety.


Pick one of the manual beginner routines and follow it for at least 90 days to condition your penis, or until you stop gaining. Start slow, and build up to the full routine over a few weeks time, jelq with an erection level between 45% and 65% using a moderate grip, just enough to move blood up the shaft and to the glans. Grip your penis below the glans when stretching and do not pull too hard, just enough to feel tension on your shaft.


Don't RELY on porn for an erection!

Greetings from the Fairy Pornmother

Therapeutic Help For Porn Addiction


Stamina exercises, may contribute to gains and penile health, I suggest you read the links below and follow a balanced regular and reverse kegels routine for optimum pelvic floor health and conditioning, and practice edging for more stamina and control.

Kegels: Only One Piece of the Equation to Strengthen the Pelvic Floor

Yoga Poses for Pelvic Floor Stretching - relax your muscles

Confusion with Reverse Kegels

Pelvic Floor Balance


Minuteman's PremE FAQ

Arousal Techniques

ByggD's Guide to Controlling Your Ejaculation Response

What we know so far about PE, its causes and its treatment


Edging 101

Edging For Premature Ejaculation

Edging - penis exercise For Size and Hardness

Edging Toward MMO



Pay attention to your PIs, your penis is trying to tell you if you are over working, or you are in the growth zone, aim for positive PIs, and steer away from the negative ones.

Physiologic Indicators (PIs) to Help Penis Growth!


For a comprehensive index of useful PE related threads, make sure to check out the..
Frequently Asked PE Questions and Topics



Good luck on your PE journey, PE safely!

[messeduppenor Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close messeduppenor]

I havent done any exercise yet, but i will consider them! Thanks for the links.

If there is someone with a similar problem and had success dealing with it - please share some information .

By the way - whats your opinion on getting the dosage of the viagra pills very low and quit them altogether in a few months when my brain will be "cured from porn"? Because basically i cant have proper sex without them now. Do you think it could have some damaging effect on me if i keep taking a slow dose? Just for the time till my brain will be rewired from the porn...

[CottonEyeBob Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close CottonEyeBob]

I havent done any exercise yet, but i will consider them! Thanks for the links.

If there is someone with a similar problem and had success dealing with it - please share some information .

By the way - whats your opinion on getting the dosage of the viagra pills very low and quit them altogether in a few months when my brain will be "cured from porn"? Because basically i cant have proper sex without them now. Do you think it could have some damaging effect on me if i keep taking a slow dose? Just for the time till my brain will be rewired from the porn...

The best option is to go cold turkey. Yes, you will lose the ability to maintain a erection for a while, but remember, if these were the magic pills that fixed everything then you wouldn't be on this forum asking for help. Rewiring yourself from porn is also a long process depending on the individual, so even taking small doses of Viagra would still add up over time. If you need help or support with the porn though, there are a bunch of us on the AP90 thread (Anti Porn for 90 Days): https://www.pegym.com/forums/progres...anti-porn.html

90 days without porn may not seem long, but it is important to keep in mind that as your EQ and libido returns, you'll be more tempted than ever to watch porn. Personally, I find posting my progress on there helps motivate me into not failing.

As for the Viagra specifically, the last thing you want is your body to grow reliant on it. You are already reliant on porn for an erection to the point where you are using Viagra. If you continue this, in the long run your body will just end up being reliant on Viagra to get any sort of erection. Besides, like some other people in this thread have mentioned, you are far too young to be needing/relying on Viagra.

[messeduppenor Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close messeduppenor]

The best option is to go cold turkey. Yes, you will lose the ability to maintain a erection for a while, but remember, if these were the magic pills that fixed everything then you wouldn't be on this forum asking for help. Rewiring yourself from porn is also a long process depending on the individual, so even taking small doses of Viagra would still add up over time. If you need help or support with the porn though, there are a bunch of us on the AP90 thread (Anti Porn for 90 Days): https://www.pegym.com/forums/progres...anti-porn.html

90 days without porn may not seem long, but it is important to keep in mind that as your EQ and libido returns, you'll be more tempted than ever to watch porn. Personally, I find posting my progress on there helps motivate me into not failing.

As for the Viagra specifically, the last thing you want is your body to grow reliant on it. You are already reliant on porn for an erection to the point where you are using Viagra. If you continue this, in the long run your body will just end up being reliant on Viagra to get any sort of erection. Besides, like some other people in this thread have mentioned, you are far too young to be needing/relying on Viagra.

Thanks for your help.

I know that this isnt the best option for me what i will be saying now but somehow i cant see a link between the porn addiction and viagra. How could taking viagra make my brain addicted to porn? I think those are two separate things - my brain is wired to porn + perhaps psychological addiction to viagra.

I also think that 90 days are not long enough for severe cases like me. I think the author of yourbrainonporn wrote about 9 months in the most severe cases to rewire your brain. I am completely okay with it taking so long, no problem, but i cant leave my GF without sex for 9 months.

Sure, my GF is very submissive in this regard and she is okay if we will do it once, twice a month but no sex for so many months would be bad for the relationship i think. Thats why I am "defending" the viagra option. If i would take very small doses in those next few months, i dont think that would mess up things and i could enjoy having sex + i think the brain should get used to a real woman, this should speed up the process, at least thats what i have read.

Viagra is one of the most studied drugs and its VERY safe, thats a fact. If i will take 10mg (that 1/10th of a pill) a few times, i dont see how it could have any effect on my porn addiction. I will lower the doses of Viagra gradually, not make them bigger, so my brain shouldnt get addicted to it? Thats my plan...

By the way, today its 30 days without porn/masturbation for me. I will take a look at the link you posted and i will consider posting into it.

[spencerdiaz Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spencerdiaz]

it won't take 9 months.

[messeduppenor Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close messeduppenor]

it won't take 9 months.

And how long will it take you think?